converg3 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 This is going to be long so bear with me. I have had a thing for this girl for quite sometime. I would always be in a relationship when her and her bf would break up, and vise versa. I have always known we were attracted to eachother but the timing never seemed right. It semed as though everytime her and her boyfriend would break up i would receive a call from her. I always felt like the guy "on deck". Well, about a month ago i received a call from her. Her and her boyfriend were officially done, and she wasn't doing well. I felt bad for her so i met up with her to catch up and have a beer later that night. we talked for a couple of hours, and on my way home she sends me a text thanking me for coming to see her and that it really helped. And another one telling me I'm a cutie. Of course i was ecstatic in my own mind to hear this, seeing as to how i had been into her for so long, so i tried to play it cool and responded by saying I felt the same about her. She then asked me to go out with her that friday, and we did and it was a good time. For the next two weeks we texted and talked basically the entire day, and each time we would see eachother, things got a little more intimate, resulting in us sleeping together a couple of times. She told me one night she really liked me and gave me several reasons why, but didn't want to rush into a new relationship right yet, and i completely agreed. Things were going pretty well, until this past weekend when her ex decided to show up at her house unnanounced. She still has looming feelings for him, of course, with them being on and off for four years, and he has been texting and calling her lately, which has her emotions going crazy, and now she is really confused. she makes it a point daily to tell me what an amazing person i have been through all of this, and how much she has appreciated me, but i can't help but feel a little slapped in the face. So today i told her i can't stay on this roller coaster with you right now, and that i think she needs to be alone so she can get herself together. I was very understanding and nice about it and told her that we shouldn't really be talking and hanging out for a little while, but that if she really needed to talk she could call. I really like this girl and she and i both feel there is alot of potential, but i just need advice on if I'm doing the right thing. I really hope she doesn't end up with her ex again, that would really hurt. I know I'm probably a sucker rebound, but i just want to hear some thoughts.......
utterer of lies Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I was very understanding and nice about it and told her that we shouldn't really be talking and hanging out for a little while, but that if she really needed to talk she could call. When what you should have said was If she needs you, you can continue to have sex, but all this calling, talking and hanging out really doesn't work. Obviously she's just using you not be alone, and with above reply you at least get something out of it, too.
collegekid491 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Ya, sorry, you seem like a nice guy and all, but it is text book rebounding. It's accelerated so fast and seems to be largely dependent on someone being around her. You are right to back out though, her feelings for him are to deep, you don't wanna get in the middle of that. If they don't work out, at least she can't ever blame you for that. If ever in the same situation, be her friend, shes weakened and vulnerable so you have to be a man and cork whatever feelings you have and put her first. Jumping into the situation you have... there's no other way to put it, was very selfish and inconsiderate to take advantage.
swearmegan Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 You are a great guy. If i were the girl, I would end up with ex totally. But sometimes, affection is such a weird thing because there is no reason to fall in love with some one that is not that so nice.
Author converg3 Posted July 24, 2009 Author Posted July 24, 2009 yeah, i guess I'm just wondering if i should pursue this later on. She has told me that she feels like there is alot of potential for us but she has too much baggage right now. I really don't think she will go back to him, just needs time to heal properly. Would it be wrong to pursue this if we both feel we could later on?
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