leftyright1 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 i'm 32, girlfriend is 26. my girlfriend of 5 months asked me to move in with her last week. i was a little surprised by the request but we had kind of mentioned it as something to think about at some point in the future in the past. she wants me to move in w/ her to a new place in 2 months. it makes perfect sense financially and from a timing perspective, wouldn't affect either of our leases. i wouldn't mind the change of location, but i've never lived with anyone either. here's the rub - i've not felt totally sure she is someone i'd want to take the next step with. some weeks i do, others i don't. mostly i do but the feeling of slight uncertainty was lingering... b/c of this, i told her the timing might just not be right at the moment but i'd like to revisit in a few more months. i'm not the best at making decisions and this has eaten me up. it hasn't helped that the past week has been amazing between us but i tried to stay logical. she said i was being selfish b/c in 2 months was the time she could do it and later may be tougher for her. she's since decided on another place with 2 flatmates (allows her to save money - she is a student). i think this may cause a rift between us and i'd hate to see that. did i make a big mistake here? should i have just went for it... or if its meant to be, can that come later? thank you in advance. this board is always very helpful and i appreciate it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 i've not felt totally sure she is someone i'd want to take the next step with. some weeks i do, others i don't. mostly i do but the feeling of slight uncertainty was lingering... If this is how you feel, then you made the right choice. IMO, moving in with someone and sharing your daily space with them is a big step. If you're not ready, you're not ready. That's just the way it is.
Confusedalways Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Honestly, it sounds like you don't know and to me, not knowing means you're not ready. This is a big step and she sounds hot/cold right now. What's the rush? Give it some time, maybe you'll have a clearer head soon. Good luck!
utterer of lies Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 i'm 32, girlfriend is 26. my girlfriend of 5 months asked me to move in with her last week. i was a little surprised by the request but we had kind of mentioned it as something to think about at some point in the future in the past. she wants me to move in w/ her to a new place in 2 months. it makes perfect sense financially and from a timing perspective, wouldn't affect either of our leases. i wouldn't mind the change of location, but i've never lived with anyone either. here's the rub - i've not felt totally sure she is someone i'd want to take the next step with. some weeks i do, others i don't. mostly i do but the feeling of slight uncertainty was lingering... b/c of this, i told her the timing might just not be right at the moment but i'd like to revisit in a few more months. i'm not the best at making decisions and this has eaten me up. it hasn't helped that the past week has been amazing between us but i tried to stay logical. she said i was being selfish b/c in 2 months was the time she could do it and later may be tougher for her. she's since decided on another place with 2 flatmates (allows her to save money - she is a student). i think this may cause a rift between us and i'd hate to see that. did i make a big mistake here? should i have just went for it... or if its meant to be, can that come later? thank you in advance. this board is always very helpful and i appreciate it. Half a year is enough to get to know her. Either move in with her or leave her, just stringing her along until you find someone better is weak and evil. You may have many justifications for yourself on why you don't want to live with her (blahblah not ready blahblah) but if she was the right girl, this wouldn't matter.
Recommended Posts