Brady_to_Moss Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Just wondering what people think on this issue. I hear so much that sex is great..then 5-8 months in there is none (usally on the girls part becasue guys usally always have a sexual need)....My buddy has a GF where they use to have sex a lot but she wont even mention it and she gets mad when he does try to bring up the issue. Hes going to break up with her. If theres no sex before marriage, how is the relationship expected to reach even close to that?
samspade Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Some women will use their vagina as a weapon to get what they want. Sadly, too many men comply with this self-imposed slavery, because they don't have the power to walk away. If a woman withholds sex, it is a gigantic red flag, and you should drop her like a rock. Women like this only believe their sexual availability is the key to the universe because weak men allow them to get away with it. Better to dump her and find someone who is not so willing to play these kind of games. You're going to see people - mostly women - defend the idea of withholding sex, because without doing so they would never "get what they want" out of their man: Household chores, jewelry, dinner, compliments, you name it. They conveniently forget that females get as much enjoyment out of sex as males do, as well as the fact that plying your sex for goods and services = prostitution. If she's withholding just because she doesn't enjoy sex or doesn't want to have it, well that's another red flag. Find someone who does.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Just wondering what people think on this issue. I hear so much that sex is great..then 5-8 months in there is none (usally on the girls part becasue guys usally always have a sexual need)....My buddy has a GF where they use to have sex a lot but she wont even mention it and she gets mad when he does try to bring up the issue. Hes going to break up with her. If theres no sex before marriage, how is the relationship expected to reach even close to that? I heard that a female friend of my friend's fiancee once dumped a guy because she wanted sex both in the morning and in the evening and the guy didn't want to have sex that often. (This may have been during a workweek.) She actually dumped him because of this. It seems to me like a pretty trivial reason to dump someone, but this girl has issues and is the type of girl who would have sex in a restroom with some random dude she just met.
Lizzie60 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Hum.. if there are issues about sex BEFORE the marriage.. you can imagine how it will be after.. NON EXISTENT... I broke up once with a guy I was fairly in love with (my first lover after my first separation).. he wasn't sexual.. so I left him.. We're still good friends.. but sex for him wasn't as important as it was to me. I also broke up with 'bad lovers".. even if they love sex.. if they suck at it.. they're gone..
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Just wondering what people think on this issue. I hear so much that sex is great..then 5-8 months in there is none (usally on the girls part becasue guys usally always have a sexual need)....My buddy has a GF where they use to have sex a lot but she wont even mention it and she gets mad when he does try to bring up the issue. Hes going to break up with her. If theres no sex before marriage, how is the relationship expected to reach even close to that?To the question, Have you ever broke it off with someone becasue there was a lack of sex? The answer is a resounding yes. As to your buddy's situation, she's either using sex as a weapon to get something (very common), has lost interest in him (not quite as common, but it still happens) or may be getting her jollies with someone else (also, sadly, very common, from all the threads about cheating on this board). I've said it before. Assuming both parties are healthy, sex is the bedrock upon which a good relationship rests. No sex = no relationship. It will get worse after marriage. You can bet every last dollar of your portfolio on that. He's doing the right thing.
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Hum.. if there are issues about sex BEFORE the marriage.. you can imagine how it will be after.. NON EXISTENT... I broke up once with a guy I was fairly in love with (my first lover after my first separation).. he wasn't sexual.. so I left him.. We're still good friends.. but sex for him wasn't as important as it was to me. I also broke up with 'bad lovers".. even if they love sex.. if they suck at it.. they're gone.. What if you do love them but they suck at it...cant you talk it thought and tell him to do a few things differently??
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 What if you do love them but they suck at it...cant you talk it thought and tell him to do a few things differently?? Naaah.. most of the times when a lover sucks.. he will always suck... you're either good at it or not... If the guy is not into sex.. I don't know what will make him ... some people are just like that.. nothing will change..
bac Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 So first sex was great and in several months she can not stand it anymore. This is my 2 cents. The man expect from a female to have an orgasm. She knows that it is a must and fakes it every time or so during sex. From what I know about faking orgasm it is a hard work and you can not enjoy sex completely if you have the pressure to fake an orgasm to satisfy his manhood and huge ego. If you men were in her shoes, you would not want to have sex as well. I guess if that man never paid attention to her orgasm unless she asks him to do so, sex would be great up to now.
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Naaah.. most of the times when a lover sucks.. he will always suck... you're either good at it or not... That might be the case when the man needs some pointers, but there are fewer things more wonderful than spending time with a sexual woman who enjoys it but needs some, uh, "tips" (no pun intended). As long as there are no deep-seated hangups or hidden issues, and, most importantly, she's willing and eager, anything can be taught. Anything.
D-Lish Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Yes, I have broken up with a guy because he had a low sex drive. He was like that from the beginning of the relationship and a year into it I got fed up.
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 That might be the case when the man needs some pointers, but there are fewer things more wonderful than spending time with a sexual woman who enjoys it but needs some, uh, "tips" (no pun intended). As long as there are no deep-seated hangups or hidden issues, and, most importantly, she's willing and eager, anything can be taught. Anything. The only thing.. I don't mind giving him some tips.. but to actually show him how to satisfy a woman.. humm.. nope.. I've never been good at teaching.. he's got potential.. or he's out..
Trialbyfire Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Nope, I've never broken up with anyone due to a lack of sex. If anything, I'm one of those women who doesn't use sex as an external validator or sport fishing since I'm incapable of compartmentalizing sex and bonding. I would break up with someone if we entered into a committed relationship including sex and I found out his drive was lower than mine or he withheld.
New Again Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 So first sex was great and in several months she can not stand it anymore. This is my 2 cents. The man expect from a female to have an orgasm. She knows that it is a must and fakes it every time or so during sex. From what I know about faking orgasm it is a hard work and you can not enjoy sex completely if you have the pressure to fake an orgasm to satisfy his manhood and huge ego. If you men were in her shoes, you would not want to have sex as well. I guess if that man never paid attention to her orgasm unless she asks him to do so, sex would be great up to now. :lmao::lmao: This actually strikes me as incredibly insightful. My list of things a relationship MUST have: trust, respect, sex. Not necessarily in that order. Sex is wicked important. I agree with Thad - no sex = no relationship.
boldjack Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Liz, you are a hard-hearted woman.:laugh: but I agree with you.
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