M1114 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 So I went out with this girl I met online, we had exchanged maybe 6 or 7 messages before meeting. We met for dinner last thursday and talked for close to 3 hours. I thought we clicked pretty well and that the date was good. When we left she hugged me and I told her that I was going away this weekend and that I would call her on Monday to see about going out again. I went away for the weekend and ended up getting back early on Sunday instead. I remembered that I was going to be pretty busy on Monday so I decided to call her around 7 PM on Sunday. I called her but got the voicemail. so I left a message basically saying I was calling to see how her weekend went, to see if she wanted to get together this week and told her to call me or text me whenever. I havn't heard from her yet and I was wondering, should I try calling again at some point (if so how long should I wait) or should I take her not calling as she isnt interested?
leftyright1 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 i usually will give it 1 more text or call after the 1st call if i like the girl or really enjoyed the first date. sometimes things happen and they didn't get the 1st message or something came up. if after that you don't get a response, forget about her and move on. i think about a week between messages is sufficient. good luck.
redhighheels Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 If she was interested, she would have returned your call. Sure you can give it one more try, midweek or so, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.
D-Lish Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 One phone call should suffice. You left a message- so the ball is in her court to return it.
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Could be she didn't get your Sunday message, or got it but just hasn't had an opportunity to respond. One more call would be appropriate. No more. And when you make the call, if you have to leave a message don't ask her if she'd like to go do something. Make a plan. "Hey, I'd like to see <movie> on <date/time>. Wanna come?" After that, the ball's in her court.
D-Lish Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 One more call would be appropriate. No more. I disagree. He already called and left a message. The ball is already in her court. Calling again will come off as over-anxious.
leftyright1 Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 after a week and no response, 1 more text or call is fine. it will probably make you feel better and put a resolution to it if she doesn't respond. b/c if she doesn't, then its done. chances aren't good if you haven't heard anything by now, but the 5 minutes to reach out 1 more time I wouldn't consider a big deal.
D-Lish Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 after a week and no response, 1 more text or call is fine. it will probably make you feel better and put a resolution to it if she doesn't respond. b/c if she doesn't, then its done. chances aren't good if you haven't heard anything by now, but the 5 minutes to reach out 1 more time I wouldn't consider a big deal. Seriously- if she doesn't respond the the initial voicemail he left- what is one more text going to do? Is she all of a sudden going to decide she likes him? If she hasn't responded to a voicemail after a few days- it's time to write her off and move on.
New Again Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I think one more message would be appropriate but no more. Sometimes things DO come up. For example: I've had an issue several times with cell phones over the past few years where I won't get a vmail until DAYS after the person left it. And this won't paint me in a good light, but (when I was a little younger) once or twice I listened to a vmail when I was drunk, deleted it, and pretty much forgot about it. That has also happened when I listen to a message when I'm incredibly busy or tired.
Confusedalways Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I've definitely listened to messages before and figured 'I'll call them back later' and completely forgot. But that was to my parents, friends and siblings NOT to someone I liked. If you liked them, you'd want to call them back ASAP! At most, i'd shoot a quick text but not put much stock in it.
redhighheels Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Ignoring or forgetting to return a call is unheard of when you like someone, I don't care how busy you are. I'm with D-lish on this one. Dating, at least in the early stages, should be like a ball of tennis - I hit the ball, you hit the ball. If I start hitting the ball twice in a row, that kinda effs up the game.
Confusedalways Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Agreed on all counts, but she should not have led you on / let you believe you calling her would result in anything.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Seriously- if she doesn't respond the the initial voicemail he left- what is one more text going to do? Is she all of a sudden going to decide she likes him? If she hasn't responded to a voicemail after a few days- it's time to write her off and move on. Good advice. I have a friend who recommends calling twice, but I wonder whether a girl ever calls back after receiving the second voice mail if she hadn't called back after receiving the first voice mail.
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