2sunny Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 communication is key to any relationship - if you are unwilling to talk to him about any or all of it - then it's not worth dating at all. you HAVE to have trust and communication - then there is no reason to worry - the person you're seeing has every bit of info about what you are and aren't comfortable with. when they know the boundary - the worry is NEVER there. WHY won't you discuss it with him?
Sam Spade Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Well as others already stated it really is a matter of what are you comfortable with. Per your descriptions, I personally don't see anything abnormal, and I wouldn't even call it 'rough'. Rough is when it actually hurts a little (but it hurts so good ).
Author frustrated924 Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 I just posted this, should I go discuss it now, and get back to this thread? i mean i never said I wouldn't discuss it with him. he is very sensitive so he probably will get upset so not looking forward to it. communication is key to any relationship - if you are unwilling to talk to him about any or all of it - then it's not worth dating at all. you HAVE to have trust and communication - then there is no reason to worry - the person you're seeing has every bit of info about what you are and aren't comfortable with. when they know the boundary - the worry is NEVER there. WHY won't you discuss it with him?
kizik Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 he is very sensitive so he probably will get upset so not looking forward to it. Somebody please interpret this code. I think it means he chains her to the radiator.
2sunny Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 i'm not sure what you would be waiting for. i think it all should have been discussed way before the first round of sex. or if something happened during sex - discuss it IMMEDIATELY by at least saying NO when it happens! then in detail later after it's over.
WineCountry Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Whoa, what did i say or do to give you the right to call me a dismissive rude little girl. that sounds like you are being verbally abusive without much reason to be. i was just asking why carhill thought psycho was a term to use to describe his behavior. im honestly glad he is saying this. gives me more reason to leave the guy. the other poster was rude if anyone. they asked me if anything was getting through to me, talking to me like im some moron. YOU on the other hand, you obviously are way beyond rude The way you describe your 'man' it sounds like you like abuse. Or else you wouldnt need to ask why Carhill called this guy a "pyscho-man". I guess im way beyond rude too. But then, im not the one that met some creep on line and let him talk to me like im dirt and then treat me like a paid escort in bed.
Author frustrated924 Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Well, would like to thank you ALL for your replies. I will try discussing this with my BF, although I feel at this point he is too aggressive and probably has some issues. Sorry, if I came across as not wanting to acknowledge my situation or that I need to take action and talk to my BF. I was not trying to be "dismissive" or anything else. I do not like abuse in the bed nor verbal abuse from snotty little posters. PS: KIZIK has an attitude: BEWARE-below I have posted some of their uncalled for remarks,which are rather verbal and nasty-ENJOY!! 1.) Kizik: Wow. Just wow.This guy is a total weirdo! And you sound like you've never had anyone else. 2.) Kizik:Yep, best of luck living your life as a dismissive, rude little girl. 3.) Kizik: Somebody please interpret this code. I think it means he chains her to the radiator. Its funny how these threads related to sex material, tend to attract these rather rude individuals. You can tell through their ANGRY BITTER responses, they are resenting the fact that you are the one getting the action, whether it be rough play or gentle sex, and they are getting none, I could be wrong, but.....
kizik Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Lmfao!!!............... And you're right, I'm not getting laid. Doesn't change the fact that you lack some basic human qualities.
GorillaTheater Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Lmfao!!!............... You've got to admit, it was the best job communicating that we've seen from her so far.
kizik Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 True enough. Maybe she just needed a jump-start... but that's what the BF is for.
leftyright1 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 i second the post about communcation -- talk to him about it -- if it bothers you, he likely doesn't know. my girlfriend right now enjoys some hair pulling and hard grabbing and in general aggresive behavior so i think it totally depends on the person. he may have had that experience with someone else and either he or they enjoyed it. i think you'll find out if thats his thing by asking him and sharing whether or not you like certain things he does or not - and what the acceptable boundries are for you while still keeping him happy.
WineCountry Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Well I wouldnt brag about the kind of action she's getting anyway with the Dominator. Let's just hope she doesnt end up on Nancy Grace as a missing woman.
Author frustrated924 Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 I learned my lesson in posting sexual threads. It only brings up bitter emotions from posters who don't get any action, just as I mentioned before. Also, "KIZIK", I'm not lacking near as many human qualities as you. I can assure you this. 2,765 posts!!!! You probably wish that is how many times you got banged in your lifetime, but unfortunately it may be a good indicator that you spend way too much time responding to posts that intimidate you. I'm sorry, some people do have love lives. I'm outta here....got a hot date: going out for some rather ROUGH hot sex. I think I actually love the hair pulling deal. You should try it Kizik. Oops..i forgot something else. Just because I asked about his behavior, doesn't mean I was totally against it. I wanted to know if in general its perceived is unusual or is an indicator of a further problem. Maybe people should listen or use their heads. To all the other rude posters #$(@$@$@$
northstar1 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Well, I've been put in my place. You sure were Kizik. I bet you are distraught you aren't out on a date with an aggressive "jerk". Sure sounds like fun.
2sunny Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Yes, I do wish someone would choke me during sex. i know this guy who does that... could be scary if no warning ahead of time.
Cora Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I think that he is being a bit aggressive during sex. Although like others have said, some like it. If it doesn't bother you then all the better! I don't however agree with the way he speaks to you. It is quite rude and selfish. You deserve much better than that. Are you okay with the way he treats you? I wish you the best of luck. By the way, sometimes you just have to ignore some of the comments people post on here. Don't let them get to you.
bac Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 you are not experienced enough for him. As for looking into his eyes, it is a right thing to do during sex. It is a turn on for both. If you feel smth sexually to him, you may try to practice looking into his eyes. But not all the time look into his eyes during sex. It is very difficult to do for a girl when she feels sexually nothing during sex and thinks about any other more important issues during that.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Yes, I do wish someone would choke me during sex. I wish that for you, too. LOL...kidding! Kidding! Gees. Well, it looks like the poster got what she was looking for - some reason to stay with the aggressive jerk and I'd say she got it. No better reason than righteous indignation. Cut off the nose to spite the face, and all that. Wow. I don't consider the guy's behavior normal. He sounds like an abuser. His behavior thus far sounds like he's just trying to hold back the monster long enough to get you hooked. It's sad. Yet another woman taken in by an abusive jerk and simply won't leave.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 What do you think of what he said to me. Was that last comment a threat or what can you make of it? it really hurt me and that he even used the word CHEAT. he said he was just tired and not thinking, but i dunno. tell me what you think. Thank you" First, the things he is doing in the bedroom are related to control. It helps him feel powerful, and that is a turn on to him. I don't think that is particularly weird. The vast majority of men have some kind of mental linkage between power, domination, control, and sex. Oops..i forgot something else. Just because I asked about his behavior, doesn't mean I was totally against it. I wanted to know if in general its perceived is unusual or is an indicator of a further problem. Maybe people should listen or use their heads. To all the other rude posters #$(@$@$@$ Just ignore posts you don't like. When you refused to help him over the internet... that was a rejection... and he responded with a bit of a tantrum. The good news is that he tried to make you feel guilty about it instead of trying to hurt your feelings directly.
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 "A guy I have know for about seven months. We met online. We talk a lot online but on phone. We have also been hanging out in person as well. We got in an argument online the other night. He kept bugging me to cyber with him haha i know. i told him i wasn't in the mood and stuff. he wanted me to turn on my cam and i said sorry i'm not in the mood tonight and really tired. his reaction was maybe i don't turn you on anymore, and this mad me really mad! A word of warning... don't use the sexcam because he may well post your footage on the Internet in the future... Also, as for the look into his eyes... could be it turns him on, makes him feel more intimate with you/closer to you, that 'stern' voice could be a sexually altered voice, lol -- I don't think that alone is an indication of a personality problem. I do think the Sum Total of your 'concerns' with the bruising, and your perception of his being 'stern' is an indication that YOU need to be expressing yourself to him... if you are close enough for sex with him, you are close enough to talk to him about the sex too.
Els Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I do not like abuse in the bed nor verbal abuse from snotty little posters. PS: KIZIK has an attitude: BEWARE-below I have posted some of their uncalled for remarks,which are rather verbal and nasty-ENJOY!! 1.) Kizik: Wow. Just wow.This guy is a total weirdo! And you sound like you've never had anyone else. 2.) Kizik:Yep, best of luck living your life as a dismissive, rude little girl. 3.) Kizik: Somebody please interpret this code. I think it means he chains her to the radiator. Its funny how these threads related to sex material, tend to attract these rather rude individuals. You can tell through their ANGRY BITTER responses, they are resenting the fact that you are the one getting the action, whether it be rough play or gentle sex, and they are getting none, I could be wrong, but..... My god.... Did I get teleported back to the middle school days or something???? OP, are you old enough to be having sex legally in the first place? I ask this not out of sarcasm. I am genuinely, genuinely concerned. Then again if you aren't you could file statutory rape against him and that'd solve everything I suppose.
Author frustrated924 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 LMFAO.I see this thread continued to be a field day for some. I was not planning on staying with an ABUSIVE BF. There are other reasons to dump this guy besides his bedroom behavior. Hell you all our probably more abusive, at least verbally than the guy. LOL. We haven't even dated that long. You people seem to be making way too many ASSUMPTIONS. Get your facts straight!! And by the way, who ever turned this post(posted below) into the moderator as a violation, needs to get a LIFE. This is not a violation. This was said and done after I was called a rude dismissive little girl and accused of never being with anyone else in the sack. As you see, I still did not lash out and call them harsh names in my post. I'm aware this post may violate, but see if I'm care, I'm not coming back on here. Some of you people are so bitter and bored and in desperate need of some action. Seriously find something else to do besides try to stir up trouble. "Whoa, what did i say or do to give you the right to call me a dismissive rude little girl. that sounds like you are being verbally abusive without much reason to be. i was just asking why carhill thought psycho was a term to use to describe his behavior. im honestly glad he is saying this. gives me more reason to leave the guy. the other poster was rude if anyone. they asked me if anything was getting through to me, talking to me like im some moron. YOU on the other hand, you obviously are way beyond rude"-why is this a violation?? LOL This link below is a good indicator of how some of you will be over the years after spending all your time attacking loveshack posters. LOL http://media.photobucket.com/image/skeleton%20at%20computer/kiki408_2007/SkeletonComputer.jpg?o=4
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