JHparkes Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I feel like I've been single forever.... well it's been a year to be exact - and that relationship a year ago only lasted for 10 months. Before that it was 3/4 years. I've been out with about 6 guys in the past one year - four of those were just one date, coz I didn't feel a spark; one of those I went out with for a month before I realised he wasn't the one for me and one of them wasn't that into me and kept messing me about. Today I was talking to my friend and she was saying how her two friends have both fallen head over heals in love with these guys and I'm thinking WTF?? These women have only just split up with their partners/husbands less than four months and met someone they clicked with right away. One of my other friends, Jane, met her partner when she'd only been split up with her fella of 8 years for two months. Why does it take me so so long to find someone?? I notice this about a lot of other people, no sooner are they split from someone then they find someone else they click with and everything falls into place. It makes me feel so lonely and inadequate; and I'm so scared that I'm going to be alone forever. I know this is a negative and defeatist attitude but I can't help but feel suffocated by it. Especially when everyone keeps saying they can't believe that I haven't met anyone. Also a lot of my friends that were in the same situation as me, soon met someone and are now happily settled down. I feel like crying some days i feel so low. can anyone else relate to this?
bac Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 What did you do to find someone? You should have a plan and follow it. For example, do online dating.
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 First of all, you're not crazy. Far from it. There are people who have a deep-seated need to always be in a relationship. It sounds like some of your friends are like this. I've got a buddy like that too. He's almost 50 (same as me) and has had a partner in his life since early high-school. And he puts up with all sorts of crap just so he can be in a relationship. Better with someone that treats him like crap than happy on his own. I just don't get that mentality, but whatever works for him... Point is, you don't need to be in a relationship to be fulfilled. This is an exciting time in your life without the burdens that a relationship sometimes poses. Go live life! Revel in your singlehood! When your friends are b!tching and moaning about their husbands/boyfriends (and they will, you can count on it) you'll be able to say, proudly, "I don't have those issues! I do as I please!"
Trialbyfire Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 There are people who are particular who they have relationships with and others, not so much. As long as you're happy being single, enjoy it. If you're unhappy being single, you have to ask yourself why you need someone to make you happy since that's not possible. If your friends are pressuring you to get attached, just tell them it's not happening the way they feel it should. You know yourself better than anyone else out there. So, instead of focusing on what you don't have by measuring yourself against someone else, focus on what you do have and what drives you.
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