Scarlett513 Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I've known this guy about 2 months....we went out twice in the beginning but havent seen each other in about a month. We still talk, but rarely over the phone and mostly thru text. He is very busy with work (could be a cop-out but I don't really think so) and although he still makes an effort to keep in contact, I'm tired of dealing with someone who has no time for dating (I like him but I feel like I've been waiting around for him). I want to cut contact but don't want to be a jerk or come off nastily. What do I say that doesn't sound like I'm blaming him or pressuring him? Since our primary source of communication is text I would like it to be short enough to fit in a message.
Thaddeus Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Don't use text for this sort of thing. If possible, see him in person. If that's not possible, use the phone. "It's clear that we're on different paths and you're very committed to your career right now. That's good, it will serve you well in the future. But for me personally I'm looking for more. I think it's best we not see each other anymore. Thank you for the opportunity to get to know you," or something along those lines. Obviously, edit it to suit your own style and personality. And please, please don't give him the "we can still be friends" line.
redhighheels Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Hi *name*. I enjoyed our time spent together, but after giving it some thought I realized that we're not a good match. I appreciate the chance of getting to know you and I wish you all the best!
boogieboy Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 You say just what you said here "I have to stop seeing you because I cant continue with someone who doesnt have enough time for me, take care" Easy as that.
redhighheels Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I don't think 2 dates and some sporadic contact afterwards warrant a face to face conversation. It would a bit pompous in my opinion. Men who chose texting as a primary means of communication need to be prepared to be dumped through text.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I don't think 2 dates and some sporadic contact afterwards warrant a face to face conversation. It would a bit pompous in my opinion. Men who chose texting as a primary means of communication need to be prepared to be dumped through text. LOL...I totally agree. You don't owe him a face-to-face meeting. Keep it short and sweet, but be honest. I agree with not using the friend line, either.
trenino Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 [quote=redhighheels;2286624 men who chose texting as a primary means of communication need to be prepared to be dumped through text. totally agree!!
Thaddeus Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Wait a sec, hold the phone here. When a guy breaks up with a girl by text, he's a coward. But when a girl breaks up with a guy, apparently it's OK to do it via text. Yet another double-standard?
Jersey Shortie Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 That isn't what she said at all Thaddeus. She said IF a man used text as the biggest form of communication, then he shouldn't be surprised when his partner does as well. Even to break up with him. I suggest you just pick up the phone Scarlett in this case and tell him that although you like him, and understand how busy he is work wise, that you need someone who has the time to dedicate to you. So you are going to go ahead and date others. Since you do like him, you can always leave it open by telling him something simple like "give me a call when things slow down for you". Sometimes men don't know how to balance work and life. They think their work is who they are.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 How about you just stop answering the texts? Given that you've only been out twice, you don't owe him an explanation.
Trimmer Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 The thing is, if you use the "not enough time, you're too busy" angle, then you might want to be prepared with a response, in case he says "I'll change, I didn't realize this was a problem and I'll dedicate more time to you..." Would you be interested in trying again, or do you just not feel the chemistry either way. If it's the latter, you might want to make that the cornerstone of your comments.
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