JUSTdaNCE Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Scenario: You're on vacation with your ex...patching things up, trying to get back together. Enjoying the sunsets at night and spending time together. You find out he sends a picture of the sunset to one of his other ex's back from HS (they still talk a lot and you aren't fond of it) You don't think this a very good way for him to be winning back your trust. Would you get jealous? Guys...whats your motive behind something like this? Is it possible to be strictly platonic with an ex?
Phateless Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Scenario: You're on vacation with your ex...patching things up, trying to get back together. Enjoying the sunsets at night and spending time together. You find out he sends a picture of the sunset to one of his other ex's back from HS (they still talk a lot and you aren't fond of it) You don't think this a very good way for him to be winning back your trust. Would you get jealous? Guys...whats your motive behind something like this? Is it possible to be strictly platonic with an ex? I think it's a bit inappropriate. I agree with you.
Author JUSTdaNCE Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Phateless- are you male or female... I'm trying to see the different sides, cause he doesn't see it the way I do.
Phateless Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Phateless- are you male or female... I'm trying to see the different sides, cause he doesn't see it the way I do. I am a male. The other side is that they are probably friends who keep in touch. I can't say whether their friendship is appropriate or not. If they are genuine friends (no romantic stuff going on) then there's absolutely no harm. If there are feelings involved then he is out of line. I completely understand why you are upset and jealous, it makes perfect sense to me. BUT, I still think you are overreacting a bit, if that makes sense? I think his defensiveness and unwillingness to see your perspective is the most alarming. It's your vacation, he should be focused on you. I'm guessing you overreacted and brought all sorts of "you're still in love with her!" stuff into it, which is probably what escalated it. Make sense?
Author JUSTdaNCE Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Totally makes sense- I didn't bring any "in love with her" stuff into it...I just couldnt understand why he sent a picture of what typically (in a girls eyes) is a romantic setting to his ex.
Phateless Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Totally makes sense- I didn't bring any "in love with her" stuff into it...I just couldnt understand why he sent a picture of what typically (in a girls eyes) is a romantic setting to his ex. Got it. Instead of negotiating with him on why he did it (will go nowhere, fast!) maybe just tell him that it hurts a little that he did it and you wish he wouldn't?
Trialbyfire Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Jd, it might be something to worry about and might not be. Friends can share a love of photography, which is the situation between one of my exes, and myself. For that matter, I'm currently in touch with 4 of my exes. My fiance has met two of my exes, the two he wasn't 100% comfortable with. He's now totally comfortable with it all, after meeting them and being able to see our dynamics. Also, my man has administrator access to my computer(s), so there are no secrets between us. Perhaps this might work with your b/f introducing you to his ex?
Author JUSTdaNCE Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 He knows that when he talks to her I get upset. I am fine with his other ex's...but for some reason this one rubs me the wrong way. We dated for 3 years...and the whole time he knew I didnt like it...I feel like a broken record. and it just hurts even more that he is trying to get back with me and knows I dont like it and wouldn't react well to it.
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