Dasilva Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 For those who have read some of my posts, my ex and I went on a break which was her decision. It was obviously harder on me because I wasnt sure what it meant, and what her real reasons were. We started talking again and seeing eachother once in awhile for the past few weeks. Shes kind of playing the hot/cold game right now and its starting to get to me. I would ask to see her sometimes and she would completely blow me off even if shes not doing anything, even sitting at home, she would still say no. She pretty much NEVER asked to hang out with me in the past little while and every time I call her when shes out with her friends she seldomly answers. I talk to her about it and she even says im sorry for being a bitch, and she says she hates herself for being that way. She knows that the way shes acting isnt right but she continues to do it. I wasnt the best boyfriend in the past and she says that the reason she thinks shes doing this is to protect herself so she doesnt get hurt again. She tells me that she loves me and is in love with me, and that she wants to marry me but what the hell is goin on? I love the girl to death and I want to be with her 100% but I dont want to sit on her backburner waiting for her decide, because what if she realizes she doesnt want to be with me? Then I kept my heart on a string for nothing. I talked to her today about the whole situation and I told her that I didnt think we should talk until she decided what she truly wants and that I couldnt be some part time boyfriend thats going to be there when its good for her. Was it the right thing to do? Should I stick to no contact? Any tips, I really want to be with her, but I feel like trying to trick or play mind games into making somebody come back to you is useless. If they want to, they will. Thanks for any replies.
Thaddeus Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 She's playing you like a two-bit fiddle. Take the lead. "You're either with me or you're not. You have ten seconds to decide." She'll very likely recoil at your newfound backbone and may even get harsh about it. I give it a 30% chance that she'll agree to be "yours." But you've left this go long enough. Take charge. Today.
Exit Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Someone said in a different thread "it's her string, but your choice to keep hanging onto it". It depends on your definintion of "not being the greatest BF". If you truly did anything to deserve this, then she probably does deserve a little break from you, and giving you the cold shoulder every know and then, to see if you care enough to keep trying. But if you didn't really do anything wrong and you're just letting her make you feel like you WERE a bad BF, then you need to let go of this string. I'm kind of in the same boat you are. I treated my gf pretty terribly, I was stuck in a rut in many aspects of my life and just became a disgusting person. She still strings me along with emails and stuff and frankly, I'm still willing to wait. I know I did a lot wrong, and am willing to suffer for it.
georgia girl Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Keep to no contact. It will drive her nuts and that "sometimes missing you" thing she's got going on will become an "always missing you/can we get back together" thing. Trust me. We love a good challenge and right now, she needs to chase you a little bit to be reminded of what a good catch you are. But then, be a good boyfriend next time around. If she's worth all of your angst now, don't be such a "moron" (to use Exit's words in my post) the next time you get together.
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