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[somuchpain]

Hey guys, iv been looking through alot of posts on here and have found alot of it helps me very much, knowing that me and my girlfriend arent the only ones going through this.

 

So heres my story, i met my girlfriend(Iris) on a penpal site about 7 months ago. I live in scotland, she lives in holland. I mailed her asking for help with the language, since i have family in holland making me half dutch(my mum is dutch) Not expecting anything more than an internet buddie to help me out with learning, as soon as we sent photos, we both fell for each other, this was before we knew each other, before we knew anything, we just liked eachother. She had asked me if id like to visit within the first few days, and of course i said yes. The more photos i sent her, the more and more she fell for me, and the more i saw of her, the more i fell for her. At first we planned a meeting about 3 months away, we met late december, and met in march. We didnt know if we should wait and see each other in real life first, before making anything official, BUT...we just couldnt wait and became a couple right away, we fell in love more and more each day, and with the fact that she hadnt seen me in real, i was always always worryed she would hate me in real life, but after that 3 month wait, i got on the plane from edinburgh to amsterdam, and there she was, standing there at arrivals...and she was better than i ever expected, and was for her to. All our worrys were out the window and it felt like we have had known and been together for so much longer than 3 months. That week was great, and of course comeing home again broke my heart. I visited again about a month later, this past 2 weeks, she has been out here in scotland with me, and i have to say its been so perfect, i love her so much. But today i just got back from the airport after watching her walk away into departures....:( I cryed all the way home while driving, and she broke down in my arms just before she walked away. This is the third time we have had to say goodbye...and it does not get any easier...at all... she will come here again in 2 months, which isnt so bad, but right now, with 8 weeks ahead of us apart, it really does hurt. We are both very serious about this, and to let you know how serious she is, she got a tatoo on her wrist, saying dreams, in my hand writing, before she even met me, and i got a small tatoo on my ankle, saying true love, in her hand writing, the first week i met her. We plan to move in together next year down in england ( cambridge) so for the next year, its work hard for both of us and saving all the money we can. we both work pretty much full time and are gonna save alt so we can make this happen. This all came into my life so suddenly, i would have never thought that when i sent that first email asking for help, it was to the love of my life, and i never even thought id meet someone untill i was much older, but this is all in my life now, and we just need each other so bad. alot of people around me (bad friends) say it will never work, but i couldnt care what people think, after 7 month together we have so much trust and comitment, and feel so much love for each other, it just wont end. we may sound crazy, with those tattoos and all, and im 19(20 in december) and she 18(19 in november). We are young and in love, people may doubt us, but i wanted to join this forum to talk to people and relate on problems and pain that we all suffer in these relationships. We really love each other, and it pains me to say bye, and this time it wasnt me traveling home, it was her, so this time i came back to my empty room, empty car...its so hard...but damn...i couldnt imagine waiting for anyone else, id never trade this for anything. This story is just a breif summary of our story, i hope maybe someone would like to chat on here and talk about things, i love talking to my girl friend about all this pain and our comunications is great, letters, msn, email, txts, everyday we talk, but to know other people out there feel this **** feeling of being apart, comforts me a little, so..like to here from anyone

 

Thanks for reading

 

Seb x

 

Happy to answer any questions you have and am open to talk to everyone:)

xx

[Island Girl]

I would never discount what the two of you feel for each other. In the grand scheme of things with paying for plane tickets and committing to the trips to meet and see each other you already have done more for your relationship than most people do!

 

The pain of saying good-bye doesn't get any easier. This is echoed in most people's posts here after they have a visit.

There is the elation of seeing each other and of course the shared time and new memories, etc. But you both know all too well what it feels like to be without each other (and MISS each other so much it feels as though your heart is being ripped from your chest continually!) and saying good-bye is the tolling of the bell -- that both of you are returning to life with that pain again that we all know too well. IT SUCKS.

 

The last time my husband and I said good-bye to each other we were newly married. In fact we had only been married for just over a couple of weeks.

There had been a LONG time in between visits prior to that visit when we got married.

And it was wrenching.

 

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do - to get on the plane and leave him again.

He tried to be strong the whole time and wanted me to keep my sunglasses on so he couldn't see me crying.

 

Finally I had to go through the doors to the plane. I was sobbing so hard that the ladies around me were holding me as we walked together to the plane.

They knew him and they also knew (as everyone on the island did) that we just got married.

And one of them looked back where the people stand and wave good-bye...and she said, "There he is waving good-bye to you and...oh my goodness HE'S CRYING!".

I completely lost it and almost didn't get on the plane. :(:(:(:(

 

It took everything in me to not run back and stay there.

 

But we had a plan and it was only supposed to be at the most 4 months until we saw each other again (not the three years it had been between visits).

 

Well that was almost three years ago now.

Because of immigration and embassy crap it has been soooo very long.

On the 27th -- next Monday -- we will have our three year anniversary. It is his birthday as well.

 

And on the 12th of August it will be three years since we have seen each other. 3 YEARS AGAIN!

Ugh. It just makes me ill every time we pass a "marker" like Christmas, Birthdays, etc.

 

I did get good news today that may help with speeding up the process in getting him here. So we'll see. There may be wonderful news on the horizon.

 

And no matter what happens I will see him in January.

I hope the reunion is here in the US which means he is finally home and we will have no more distance between us.

But if that doesn't happen we're going to meet in Fiji and have a holiday together.

 

I miss him so very much. <there is no face sad enough or sick enough to put here>

 

 

-- On a brighter note I am happy you found us here at LS. It is a place where you can come and find understanding and as we all know that is difficult to find in our normal walking around lives! Everyone thinks we're crazy and they can't fathom what we go through (or what we really have and WHY we go through this kind of crap).

 

Please help us read your thoughts a bit easier and post in paragraphs.

 

CHEERS and welcome to Loveshack.

[Bearandsue]

Welcome to our LDR family. You couldnt have found a better place.

 

I hate good byes the first time I said good bye to my SO I completely broke down. I was in hysterics, sobbing away with people looking at me at the airport. It hurt so bad.

 

But you sound like you guys have it all worked out so all the best to you and feel free to post, vent or share with us.

 

 

* sorry to high jack*...That is wonderful news Island Girl. Happy Happy for you. Does this mean you will have a count down?

[somuchpain]

Thanks guys for the warm welcome, hearing your storys really makes me think, and does comort me alot. My girlfriend got back and we have been on web cam all evening, and its very hard to have to just watch eachother now and not be able to kiss or touch. I know situation is better than alot of other people on here, but at the end of the day, not being with your loved one is the toughest thing for anyone. Id be happy to post photos on here but i dont reli know how lol so if someone could tell me how tht wud be good, and thanks for reading and replying to my post, nice to hear your storys.

 

I know for the next few weeks, will be so touch again, getting back into the swing of things, only having msn to talk, and just everyday life. I know as our time grows closer again, ill start to feel good, but right now its just so awfull to deal with, the time before we see each other goes so so slow....and then when we are together, 2 weeks passes like it was just one day. time really does fly, and at times it just dosnt feel like it when you stop and think about how long there is to go, and you long for a kiss right tht moment, time just seems to stop, but it passes, and i know ill be reunited again with her.

 

I really cant imagine waiting years to see her like you have, i know i would wait any amount of time to be with her, aslong as the end result is with her, ill do anything. But damn, 3 years is a long time to wait, that takes some courage and alot of heart ache, i cnt say i know how it feels to be apart tht long, but i cn only imagine, and i know it is not good.

 

I really liked your posts, everything you guys say is so true, i feel it all, and its great to have somewhere to relate on these problems.

 

Get back to me about the photo thing and ill get some up, we took some reli cute photos over this time.

 

thanks guys, really alot

 

seb x

[Island Girl]

* sorry to high jack*...That is wonderful news Island Girl. Happy Happy for you. Does this mean you will have a count down?

 

Yes, soon I shall!! :bunny::bunny:

 

Thanks Bearandsue.

 

Sorry for the threadjack somuchpain - some here know my story all too well and have been a huge comfort to me at times!

 

You're right 3 years is a very long time to wait!

[somuchpain]

Its ok, its good you found some comfort here at times, i hope i can to, people on here seem real nice, thanks again for the post back, and im sure ill be reading more posts from you on other threads and ill post somethings to, oh and can i put photos into posts? like into my messages for people to see?

 

seb x

[Island Girl]

Its ok, its good you found some comfort here at times, i hope i can to, people on here seem real nice, thanks again for the post back, and im sure ill be reading more posts from you on other threads and ill post somethings to, oh and can i put photos into posts? like into my messages for people to see?

 

seb x

 

You can load photos into your album -- in your profile here.

 

Then you can give levels of access to them, etc.

 

After 100 posts you'll have PM available to be able to message other Loveshackers about specific questions you may have for them or anything you want to just say to a member privately.

 

Mostly people post and it is strongly encouraged that posting is done in the open forum because other people out there may have a similar issue and learn by reading - but they don't post (Lurkers).

 

:bunny:

[Lovin a scrapper]

Its ok, its good you found some comfort here at times, i hope i can to, people on here seem real nice, thanks again for the post back, and im sure ill be reading more posts from you on other threads and ill post somethings to, oh and can i put photos into posts? like into my messages for people to see?

 

seb x

 

 

I can say that this is a great place to go when times are good, bad and emotional. Most everyone here are simply awesome and they are honest and trustworthy.

 

It was very heartwarming to see all of the success stories and that calmed me so much when I first came in and saw all of them. Plus the fact that most everyone are just fun to be around!!!

 

This is my first and only LDR and the patience, trust, communication and most of all the love that Rayette and I have had during it will finally pay off in a few months when I move to be with her. Forever!

[KikiW]

I also fell fast and hard for my SO, and letting each other get on the plane to go home is the absolute WORST. It's like being rubbed raw, and all you want is to feel the others' arms around you.

 

Have plans in place, even if they need to be adjusted it is always a relief to have a DATE in mind.

 

That said, GO IG!!!

[Island Girl]

That said, GO IG!!!

 

Thanks Kiki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Just imagine 2 weeks in FIJI with no one else around -- we'll be able to just BE TOGETHER.

 

It's gonna be awesome.

[somuchpain]

Wow only a few months till your together, thats really so good, i cant wait for the day me and iris move in together, unfortunatly theres no date set yet for next year, but we are planning on moving into an apartment around may/june. We are gonna take a week down in england and go around looking at the apartments we like, and see whats best. It can be all really exciting to think about, even though its still a damn year away, but i am gratefull for this, at one stage in our relationship it was gonna be 2 or 3 years before we were able to live together, but things changed and she can now study over in england instead of in holland, so now we only have a year to wait. Im still getting back into the swing of things, my girlfriend is finding this very hard aswell as i am, you just get used to having that special person around and then when there gone you feel so empty without them:( This will pass though, i know it will. Thanks for the info IG, very helpfull, and Fiji sounds really great:)

 

seb x

[Maggs]

Welcome to the board!

 

You and your gf both seem to have a very good head on your shoulders and both so dedicated to each other. Well done! I know it's difficult, but if you can make it through this--I think you can make it through anything life will throw your way in the future.

 

I'll be emigrating back to Scotland next year after my fiance and I get married. Very excited!! I lived in the UK for 2 yrs on a working holiday visa. I lived just outside of Cambridge as well. Very nice area. You're so close to everything. Congrats on having a plans together so soon.

 

And IG---YAY for you! So excited you'll be seeing your hubby soon. I hope it'll be permanent. I bet you're already counting down the days. Or hours possibly So happy for you!

[somuchpain]

Thanks Maggs, so i take it you like it here in the uk since your coming back to live, so whats the situation with you, do you have a speical person here waiting for you or are you in a relationship with someone from canada.

 

We both just want it to work out so bad, its our number one goal. We just coudlnt imagine not waiting for eachother, id rather wait a long time for it all to happen than never see her again. I hope all our plans come true, but i will make sure of it, becuase i want this so bad for us.

 

Thanks for the posts guys, really friendly:)

 

Oh and IG, i couldnt find any options to upload pics onto my profile, am i blind or do i need to wait untill i posted some more or something? thanks:)

 

seb x

[Island Girl]

And IG---YAY for you! So excited you'll be seeing your hubby soon. I hope it'll be permanent. I bet you're already counting down the days. Or hours possibly So happy for you!

 

THANKS MAGGS!!!!

Yes I am very excited but I haven't gotten everything together yet.

I hope hope hope the money I have for the trip will just bring him here!

 

But I am kind of coming unglued as I even fantasize about it!!! YAY!!!:bunny::bunny:

 

Oh and IG, i couldnt find any options to upload pics onto my profile, am i blind or do i need to wait untill i posted some more or something? thanks:)

 

seb x

 

Hi seb -

 

I'm not sure.

 

I thought you could add them right away because we have had fairly new posters who have added albums.

I did once a couple of years ago - so I don't remember how or where to do it..??!!

 

Perhaps there is someone out there who knows...?

[somuchpain]

Ok IG ill have a look and see if theres a way and ask some others maybe, im sure theres a way. Thanks for trying to help anyway.

 

Good to hear your excited about fiji, must be really exciting, so are you hoping that that will be you guys permenantly together?

 

seb x

[Maggs]

Thanks Maggs, so i take it you like it here in the uk since your coming back to live, so whats the situation with you, do you have a speical person here waiting for you or are you in a relationship with someone from canada.

 

We both just want it to work out so bad, its our number one goal. We just coudlnt imagine not waiting for eachother, id rather wait a long time for it all to happen than never see her again. I hope all our plans come true, but i will make sure of it, becuase i want this so bad for us.

 

Thanks for the posts guys, really friendly:)

 

Oh and IG, i couldnt find any options to upload pics onto my profile, am i blind or do i need to wait untill i posted some more or something? thanks:)

 

seb x

 

I met my now fiance when I was living in the UK, travelling and working. We spent a year there together than I had to come back because my visa expired. So we spent from Feb-Dec last year in LDR. Travelling back and forth. Then I went over in Dec for 3 months. Just an extended visit. And at the end, he proposed. So now we're back doing LDR until our wedding next June then permanently moving back to be with him. He's Scottish and still lives in Scotland.

[somuchpain]

Ok cool, sounds very good, i meen i know its hard being apart but its good you have a plan and all, and congrats on getting married, will be great to get married and then finaly being able to live with him, where abouts in scotland does he stay ( dont worry i dont want his adress) i live near by St Andrews, whch is like an hour from edinburgh. I think me and my girlfriend will get marryed about a year after we move in, becuase we will need to save up alot again as we wont exactly have it easy living in an apartment, but we will make it work.

 

Canada to scotland is a looong way, it would kill me if my girlfriend lived so far, but its good that people can keep up with that sort of distance, i supose if the end goal is to be together then anyone can cope with any distance.

 

You dont happen to know how to upload photos do you? i check The FAQ section on the forum and it says something about an album option in the user cp section, but i cant see it??? hmm weird.

 

seb x

[Maggs]

Ok cool, sounds very good, i meen i know its hard being apart but its good you have a plan and all, and congrats on getting married, will be great to get married and then finaly being able to live with him, where abouts in scotland does he stay ( dont worry i dont want his adress) i live near by St Andrews, whch is like an hour from edinburgh. I think me and my girlfriend will get marryed about a year after we move in, becuase we will need to save up alot again as we wont exactly have it easy living in an apartment, but we will make it work.

 

Canada to scotland is a looong way, it would kill me if my girlfriend lived so far, but its good that people can keep up with that sort of distance, i supose if the end goal is to be together then anyone can cope with any distance.

 

You dont happen to know how to upload photos do you? i check The FAQ section on the forum and it says something about an album option in the user cp section, but i cant see it??? hmm weird.

 

seb x

 

He lives on the west coast, south of Glasgow. I can't wait to move back. I love it there. It is difficult being so far away but we're a lot closer than a lot of couples here.

 

With regards to uploading pictures. I have no idea how to do it. I've never tried to. Sorry!