Relationship confusion

[angel19nz]

Hey guys. I'm with a guy and we both love each other immensely but I'm quite confused about our relationship because he's always busy doing other things. I won't see him on days on end (no longer than a week though) because he's with his friends. Shouldn't I be a top priority too, considering he says he wants to be with me forever and to have kids with me one day?

 

The last 3 days have been especially hard to get hold of him. The last couple of days he must have just given up on answering his phone because I'm just the 'annoying girlfriend' who wont stop hassling him. That's not what I'm doing at all! What's the point in being in a relation- ship if this is the way it's going to be: I want to see him because i miss him and he cant even be bothered answering his phone, and when he finally does, he doesn't even sound happy to talk to me.

 

Should I hang on or "hang up" on the relationship? In the end it will all come down to my own decision but it would be nice to hear everyone elses opinions on the matter.

 

Cheers

[Thaddeus]

Hey guys. I'm with a guy and we both love each other immensely but I'm quite confused about our relationship because he's always busy doing other things. I won't see him on days on end (no longer than a week though) because he's with his friends. Shouldn't I be a top priority too, considering he says he wants to be with me forever and to have kids with me one day?

The disconnect here is in the level of expectations. You want more contact (or so it seems). He apparently is comfortable with the level of contact you currently have (or so it seems).

 

But you don't have to guess about this stuff. Ask him. Let him know what you'd like. He can't read your mind. It's possible that he'd like to have more contact but is wary of being perceived as clingy.

 

There's another element here and I so wish women would understand this. I've said it before in other threads but I'll repeat it here:

 

A romantic relationship is only one part of a man's life. If he's worth anything at all, he has a social life, career aspirations, community involvement and maybe even involvement in his church or faith community (if he's into that sort of thing).

 

His partner is important, but the relationship is only very rarely the #1 priority.

 

That's not a bad thing, actually that's a very good thing. He - and you too - should have plenty of outside interests beyond each other.

 

For a really good insight into this, take a look at Steve Harvey's Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. Now, I don't agree with 100% of what's in there but it will give you a better indication of how men tend to think.

[MistyK]

Hey guys. I'm with a guy and we both love each other immensely but I'm quite confused about our relationship because he's always busy doing other things. I won't see him on days on end (no longer than a week though) because he's with his friends. Shouldn't I be a top priority too, considering he says he wants to be with me forever and to have kids with me one day?

 

The last 3 days have been especially hard to get hold of him. The last couple of days he must have just given up on answering his phone because I'm just the 'annoying girlfriend' who wont stop hassling him. That's not what I'm doing at all! What's the point in being in a relation- ship if this is the way it's going to be: I want to see him because i miss him and he cant even be bothered answering his phone, and when he finally does, he doesn't even sound happy to talk to me.

 

Should I hang on or "hang up" on the relationship? In the end it will all come down to my own decision but it would be nice to hear everyone elses opinions on the matter.

 

Cheers

 

Are you posting this here because he's married, or are you trying to figure out if he is? If he's M, I think you got a clear indication that he's staying put based on his lack of interest in contact with you. If not, then you still shouldn't be staring at the phone waiting for it to ring. Live your life, move on.