rjmars Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Oh my gosh, I'm the silliest girl on the planet. Don't ever leave your boyfriend for some hot Russian who opens doors for you. Okay - I broke up with my boyfriend, right? Who has been visiting his family in Ukraine all summer. We had been fighting a lot, plus I had this crush on the Russian, so I ended it, like a moron. And I've been quasi-dating the nice Russian boy (my boyfriend - EX-boyfriend - has no clue). Except that this guy's TOO nice - he pays for all of my meals, pulls out chairs, opens doors, tells me how awesome I am.... and it's just kind of annoying, now. Plus, now that I've kissed the Russian, I realize that the chemistry just isn't there. Blast!! You don't have to tell me all the things you're thinking. I know, trust me. I cannot believe I got myself into a situation like this. Why would I move so quickly into something new, when I haven't had time to get over the serious relationship I just got out of? I miss my boyfriend (ahh! EX-boyfriend, EX-boyfriend!), even though he didn't treat me very well. We really had incredible chemistry, you guys. And he's coming back from Ukraine soon. And I'll probably see him on the 29th. And I know he'll want to kiss me and whatnot, but if I let him, I'd be a CHEATER. Which is really weird to think about, because every time I kiss the new boy, I feel like I'm still cheating on my ex!! What have I doooooooone?? Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated at this point. I have completely set myself up for disaster. If the Russian finds out I still have feelings for my ex, he'll be mad. And if the Ukrainian finds out I've been with the Russian, he'll be mad. So, eventually, everyone will be mad at me. I've resigned myself to this, I think. And, I'm sure I deserve it. Weird!! Oh, also. Sex is an issue. I'm an adult (more or less - I'm 18), and I enjoy sex. So does my ex-boyfriend. We were amazing together. The Russian, on the other hand, is verrrrry religious, and probably disapproves of sex before marriage. So there's that.
Thaddeus Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 So let me get this straight: You were with your BF, Russian dude enters the picture, you break it off with your BF to be with your new Russian friend, discover that the Russian guy is a "nice guy" and you don't respect him, now you want your BF back. Do I have that right? You have already said that you're not interested in the Russian fellow anymore, and that you weren't cheating on your BF because you broke it off before you started hanging out with Mr Moscow. But once Mr Moscow is out of the picture you're free to re-connect with your BF. Doesn't make you a cheater at all. Or am I missing something?
norajane Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 It sounds like neither one of these guys is enough for you, or right for you. You wouldn't have any problem deciding what to do or which one was right for you if you felt strongly about either of them. Why don't you give it a rest and not date anyone for a while?
New_life Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 thats a pickle, I wish I could copy this and send it to my ex (who left me for someone else after 4 years being together). It has a simple solution, cut the russian tell him the truth.. Receive your ex bf, tell him the truth and ask him back. If he loves you he will understand the confusion. the best is telling the truth always, you will hurt less people that way. And next time, dont go so fast...
Author rjmars Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 I think the real problem is - well, okay: I realize that it won't work with the Russian. He is SO nice, and it'll be hard to break it off because he really is a good guy, but it's just WAY too soon for me to be with someone new, and I should have realized that. Not a difficult decision. But about my ex-boyfriend - I love him and I miss him, but I don't know if I can be with him again, or if I should even try. We fought a LOT, and he was really controlling (telling me I couldn't hang out with my friends, that I should change my clothes/hair, calling me stupid, etc.)... He said that he wants to change and stuff, but, really? I don't believe he can. I've given him so many "last chances," you know? (We were together 19 months, by the way) Plus, I'm starting college in the fall, and so is he. We'll be about an hour away from each other, and it'll be hard to make time (we're both going to be extremely busy). I'm thinking maybe I just need to be by myself for a while?
Thomas X Forever Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Yes, you need to be by yourself for a while. Unless you count seeing a psychologist. You need that too. Intensely.
GorillaTheater Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I'm thinking maybe I just need to be by myself for a while? I think that's an excellent idea. Frankly, I find your attitude to be rather slavish.
boogieboy Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Yes, be by yourself for a while. And by that we know you mean keep to yourself until you find a boy in one of your classes and jump his bones. HAHA! Problems solved.
Thaddeus Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Ill wager his name is Vladimir, or leonid I think is referring to the disgraced doctor James Sears who now goes by the name Dimitri the Lover. He's a scumbag of the worst order.
boogieboy Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I think is referring to the disgraced doctor James Sears who now goes by the name Dimitri the Lover. He's a scumbag of the worst order. I hate it when I dont get it.
marmaliade Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 So there's that. Decide what you want woman Set your mind straight and dont do stupid mistakes
moo Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Dear, you're so young. It's just called growing pains. You made an impulsive decision. Slowwwwww down and just think about what you want. And remember, your decision affects the hearts of others. Try to be sensitive, but yet do what is best for you.
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