bobby307 Posted November 7, 2003 Posted November 7, 2003 i met this girl about a month ago at work and we have gotten along great. Everything in common, and all that good stuff. The thing is, she has a boyfriend. I have stong feelings for her and she has told me she has feelings for me also. I know their not breaking up right now, nor do i want them to over me. My question is, should i continue to hang out with this girl? If so how often and should i limit the time spent/things we do?
ArdeaCandidissima Posted November 8, 2003 Posted November 8, 2003 Well...do you want to be her guy on the side? If so, continue what you're doing. If you want to be her one and only, you need to let her know that you want exclusivity. Just curious...why wouldn't you want them to separate so she can be with you?
Vivid_29 Posted November 8, 2003 Posted November 8, 2003 Originally posted by ArdeaCandidissima Just curious...why wouldn't you want them to separate so she can be with you? I guess bobby likes her alot, but at the same time, doesn't want to be a homewrecker. All I can say is don't get too attached to her bobby.
Goatsbreath Posted November 8, 2003 Posted November 8, 2003 Go ahead bobby- take this guy out but at least be courteous about it and give him this web site so he has someone to lean on.
amerikajin Posted November 9, 2003 Posted November 9, 2003 Not everyone will agree with this, but when it comes to "boyfriends," I look at it like competition between two burger joints. If a new one makes a better tasting burger, then that's just too bad. It's up to him to keep her a satisfied customer. Boyfriends and girlfriends ain't the same as husband and wife, though once they're engaged, she's off limits. That's just my view, though. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable. What's more, things change depending on the circumstances. For example, I wouldn't do it if the guy was a good friend or if I knew him well enough and had a favorable impression of him. Like I say, it's a judgment call. If it were me, I'd just cut through the crap. You say she's told you she has strong feelings for her...well, she's gotta prove it. Maybe you oughtta pull back a little bit, not talk to her as much and she how she reacts. I don't mean avoid her or be anti-social. She likes you, so you always want to be approachable. But maybe you're making yourself too available here. This is where it could get messy, because this is where she might start enjoying her little power trip a little too much. I mean, she's already got a steady to fall back on, but she gets her extra jollies from you when she's bored with her bf. Maybe you ought to take yourself off the shelf and give her the impression (without saying it) that you're "busy" with other prospects, if you know what I mean. You're going way too fast if you're already telling each other you have feelings without ever having been on a date. Back off and play it really cool with her. Make her put up or shut up. In the meantime, try and score an occasional coffee date with her - after work or something.
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