dlzjmpr Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Hello! Not going to go into too much detail, but I'm going to try to break up with my girlfriend today. We've been together for almost 2 years, but the whole relationship just doesn't work for me. Unfortunately she thinks that I'm her dream. I don't want to hurt her so this is horrible, but I really don't have any other option. The worst thing is that she's working in a different town than me, so I had to take the train here and will have to stay at her place overnight. Not sure if anyone will respond before I start talking to her, but I just felt like posting this. Wish me luck...
adamt Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Just be honest and if its over for good make it clear there is no chance of getting back together. Don't give her false hope. Don't use staying as friends because she may use that as a way to think she can get back with you.
huck Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 As Adamt said - be totally honest about everything - tell her the reasons your spliting up. Also make sure shes ok that night.. If you do have to leave the house - make sure shes got someone to maybe take care of her - thats the least u can do. Shes gonna be devastated and in total shock - so make sure shes ok..
Thomas X Forever Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Anyone wanna predict when she'll make a topic on here?
AnswersPls Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Hello! Not going to go into too much detail, but I'm going to try to break up with my girlfriend today. We've been together for almost 2 years, but the whole relationship just doesn't work for me. Unfortunately she thinks that I'm her dream. I don't want to hurt her so this is horrible, but I really don't have any other option. The worst thing is that she's working in a different town than me, so I had to take the train here and will have to stay at her place overnight. Not sure if anyone will respond before I start talking to her, but I just felt like posting this. Wish me luck... why are u trying to breakup with her?
New_life Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Anyone wanna predict when she'll make a topic on here? lol..................................
boogieboy Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Make sure you tell her you cant talk to her after you break up with her because it will be easier on her, and stick to it.
georgia girl Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 And for God's sake, stay at a hotel tonight. You're breaking up, don't stay with her. That's sending the totally wrong message.
lorilynne Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Why did you even have to do this in person? It's not cowardly to do it over the phone. All she's going to think is you're a jerk for coming all that way and getting her so excited only to dump her. And really you couldn't book a hotel room? Jeez, classic!
edward-e Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 is this one of those things where you wanna be intimate with her one last time before you dump her?
lorilynne Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 God I hope not edward-e. Especially if he decides to tell her tomorrow & uses the "i didn't want to hurt you" line when he explains why he slept with her again. Some people are so selfish!
Thomas X Forever Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Well, so far she hasn't made an account. I was wondering if by 10pm EST I'd see a topic, "my bf of 2 years broke up with me, and he wanted to sleep with me and be intimate any way!"
burningashes Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Uhh... yeah, don't sleep with her and then dump her. She'll feel like you just had to have that one last bite of that cake before tossing it into the trash. If you seriously want to break up with her, do it with respect and courtesy to her feelings and rent a hotel room. Explain you felt like you had to see her in person to end the relationship as a courtesy and leave. How do you think you would feel if she did that to you? "Wow, that was so good, babe, good night," she said to you cuddling with you in bed. The following morning, "I don't think this is working out." Would make you feel crappy too, yes? However it happens tonight, good luck! Breaking up with someone always sucks
broken_promises Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Well, besides the fact that I feel anger towards people who want to break up with others because "it's just not working for them" or whatever, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that there are major problems with the relationship. I'd like to believe that you haven't just been biding your time with your g/f and now want to see what else is out there for you that might be better. Now that I've spewed bitterness, my thoughts on the actual breaking up of it all are different than others here. I would be PISSED if someone broke up with me over the phone. I would WANT "one last time" sex. And I would want the person to be held accountable for wanting to breakup by having to sit there with me and cry and feel the end of the relationship and hold me. I don't understand this cold, unfeeling advice of get a hotel, breakup on the phone, tell her not to contact you after the breakup, etc. (unless that is what your g/f wants.) For me, I need answers and closure and intimacy at the end of a relationship. Without it, I literally go INSANE. Not everyone is like that, I get it. But I think it is selfish to not give the other person what they need during a breakup.
Author dlzjmpr Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 What makes everyone think I'd sleep with her? No, I didn't do that. Instead we talked and we're trying to figure out a way to solve our problems and make this relationship work. We both realized that a lot of the problems we have are the result of not talking about them.
Exit Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Instead we talked and we're trying to figure out a way to solve our problems and make this relationship work. We both realized that a lot of the problems we have are the result of not talking about them. Wow, sounds like 2 sane people in a relationship. You don't belong on these forums. Come back when she refuses to face her problems, runs into another guys arms 2 hours after you break up, then proceeds to yank your chain for the next 3 months. Just kidding, of course you're welcome here, just wish my relationship had been worth saving!
edward-e Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Well, besides the fact that I feel anger towards people who want to break up with others because "it's just not working for them" or whatever, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that there are major problems with the relationship. I'd like to believe that you haven't just been biding your time with your g/f and now want to see what else is out there for you that might be better. Now that I've spewed bitterness, my thoughts on the actual breaking up of it all are different than others here. I would be PISSED if someone broke up with me over the phone. I would WANT "one last time" sex. And I would want the person to be held accountable for wanting to breakup by having to sit there with me and cry and feel the end of the relationship and hold me. I don't understand this cold, unfeeling advice of get a hotel, breakup on the phone, tell her not to contact you after the breakup, etc. (unless that is what your g/f wants.) For me, I need answers and closure and intimacy at the end of a relationship. Without it, I literally go INSANE. Not everyone is like that, I get it. But I think it is selfish to not give the other person what they need during a breakup. im gunna take her advice. so from now on whenever i break up with a woman im gunna sleep with her one last time, THEN break it off after we get done.
lorilynne Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Yeah that's a great image I have in my mind. I'm crying snot bubbles because we just had sex and he never wants to see me again. Here's a glimpse into the guy's mind: 1. I wonder how long I have to stay and watch this. 2. I hope she's done by 10:15 so I can still get breakfast at MacDonald's 3. Does she know her mascara is now pooling on her chin? 4. My next break-up will definitely be via text message Notice, I didn't include: "Damn, I'm an a**hole and she looks so pretty crying and cursing at me." Sorry couldn't help myself!
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