someone_here Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 i broke up with my 2 years bf 4 months ago. 2 months after the break up i met a guy through online dating. I didn't plan to have any thing serious since i feel that i need to be single for sometimes to let my heart be healed. This guys seems nice and kind so i don't mind hang out with him now and then. We met few times for a dinner, movie or just went out of town together. So far i like his company and he treated me like a gentleman however he hardly call me. He communicated with me via email or sms, plus he traveled few times. Personally, i do not want to be in a relationship with anyone without knowing the person enough. To me just attraction is not enough. I come into a point where i am tired of making mistake and want to do it right. A week ago I met him for a movie , dinner and we spent night together and i slept with him . He called me " my dear " and he was holding my hand all the time. He was nice and treated me well everytime i met him. but then i heard nothing from him for a week then this morning he email me " hi baby.. How are you? I am good although stupid crazy busy with work..... seriously... retirement is badly needed... sorry I've not been in contact... combination of being busy and lazy :-) how was your weekend? how was your weekend?.... mine was pretty quiet... " I am not sure what is happening. am i actually in a relationship? should i get it straighten up? tell him to give me time?
carhill Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Well, you're just out of a LTR and didn't want anything serious and here's a guy giving you exactly that. IMO, a 'relationship' is anything you define it to be. What do you want it to be?
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I'm not seeing any indication of a relationship (which means, IMO, a commitment to each other). Sounds pretty casual to me. BTW, if you didn't want to date because you wanted to be single for awhile, why did you do online dating?
Author someone_here Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Well, you're just out of a LTR and didn't want anything serious and here's a guy giving you exactly that. IMO, a 'relationship' is anything you define it to be. What do you want it to be? the problem is i am afraid of being in a wrong relationship again. I want to know him well first before deciding anything. I dont intend to mess his heart. But if he is giving me LTR, why he didnt contact me regularly? it is like once a week... meeting in once in two weeks or more. So i was assuming that he treated me as a casual friend and only recently i started wondering.
Author someone_here Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 I'm not seeing any indication of a relationship (which means, IMO, a commitment to each other). Sounds pretty casual to me. BTW, if you didn't want to date because you wanted to be single for awhile, why did you do online dating? perhaps u r right.. it is all casual. Does it mean if someone wants to be single , he or she can go out with a guy and can go for online dating at all ? Does it mean i have to just go out only with female friends? i dont intend and never played any guys feeling including this guy. i like him as a person and hope to know him well. i think that makes sense and quite normal wishes. i only went out with this guy even though i don't have any commitment with him, because i feel i prefer to stick to one person and try to know a guy whom i like even if there is nothing will happen in the future.
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Does it mean if someone wants to be single , he or she can go out with a guy and can go for online dating at all ? Does it mean i have to just go out only with female friends? No. I was only curious. If/when my current relationship ends, I plan on being single for awhile. And online dating doesn't sound appealing at all if that's my goal. I was just wondering if you were being honest with yourself about not wanting a relationship. I wasn't trying to insinuate that you were being dishonest with men. And I guess I'm really confused about the casual attitude with which people these days approach online dating because I don't see it as "nothing serious" at all. If I go onto online dating sites, it's because I'm looking for something serious. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your choice, I was just curious, is all. I like to understand how people tick - especially when their brain works so much different than mine.
trenino Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 And I guess I'm really confused about the casual attitude with which people these days approach online dating because I don't see it as "nothing serious" at all. If I go onto online dating sites, it's because I'm looking for something serious. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your choice, I was just curious, is all. I like to understand how people tick - especially when their brain works so much different than mine. I used to think that online dating is something that you take seriously or at least do not be such a liar. The fact is most people do not take online thing seriously. From my experiences meeting people online, i met so many guys who clearly just wanted sex and dodgy people. Because of that i dont trust online dating. one of my friend was meeting a girl who stated her age is 23 and when he met her, she is at least 35 and 15 kg more than what she put in her profile. It happened to my male friend twice. to many people put fake identity on the website dating.
New Again Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 It's very casuaul...doesn't sound like a committed relationship at all.
Author someone_here Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 I was just wondering if you were being honest with yourself about not wanting a relationship. And I guess I'm really confused about the casual attitude with which people these days approach online dating because I don't see it as "nothing serious" at all. If I go onto online dating sites, it's because I'm looking for something serious. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your choice, I was just curious, is all. I like to understand how people tick - especially when their brain works so much different than mine. yes i was honest and i knew that i could not be with anyone until the right time comes and if i know i met the right person. I was with my bf for 2 yrs and when you broke up u feel the gap and something is missing from your life and i guess it is very human. I was sadden and couldn't function properly, cried too much. My gfs advised me to go out with guys to take my mind away from my ex . So I put my profile for two - three weeks and during that time this guy contacted me, then i removed it. Well, again.. you may think i am lying here but i am not. That was what i did. I didn't have a good feeling about it since many guys contacted me - i can tell it is a sexual invitation (indirectly and directly) like invited me to go for a vacation together ? all sort of stupid msgs. like what Trenino said.. so many people put fake information and just into sex. That's very true.
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