HsMomma Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Ok, so I'm not really here for advice. I just need to let this out. I have a 14 (almost 15) year old daughter from my first marriage. I have been the sole consistent parent to her her whole life (her father is in the Reserves & has served numerous tours during the war - both in Iraq & Afghanistan). We have never been apart for more than 2 weeks, when she traveled with my parents overseas. She has been gone since 7/9, traveling with her father (his having recently returned from the Afghanistan tour). She called me last night, homesick, crying (I won't go in to why, as I try very hard never to bad-mouth her father), and I felt so helpless. She is not due back home til Aug. 1 & I MISS MY GIRL!!!! Ok, HsMomma, the whiny-butt, is done. I just had to get it out.
Sweetcheripie Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Big hugs to you! Completely understand. Try to keep really busy.
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Hang in there Hs. Less than two weeks and she'll be back.
Author HsMomma Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Thank you both! I guess I was fishing for sympathy (BAD, HsMomma, BAD GIRL!). I know it's less than 2 more weeks - I just sorta feel that kind of phantom pain you hear about when someone has a limb removed - like a part of me is missing. These next couple of weeks can't go by nearly fast enough to suit me. I appreciate the caring & nobody giving me an online swift kick to the butt for my whining!
bentnotbroken Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 ((((HM))))) You will make it. I felt the same way recently...
Author HsMomma Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 ((((HM))))) You will make it. I felt the same way recently... Thanks, Bent - funny, isn't it? I've always DETESTED whining, but boy when I indulge myself, I'm actually quite good at it!
bentnotbroken Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Thanks, Bent - funny, isn't it? I've always DETESTED whining, but boy when I indulge myself, I'm actually quite good at it! Honey, speaking as master, you are damn good at it.
Author HsMomma Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Honey, speaking as master, you are damn good at it. Thank you, my dear - it is my fondest wish to be damn good at something in life :::taking a bow:::
bentnotbroken Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Thank you, my dear - it is my fondest wish to be damn good at something in life :::taking a bow::: :bunny::bunny::bunny:Bravo darling...Bravo:bunny::bunny::bunny:
Author HsMomma Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 :bunny::bunny::bunny:Bravo darling...Bravo:bunny::bunny::bunny: BNB, you made me laugh out loud for the first time all day - THANK YOU! You are truly a blessing!
bentnotbroken Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 BNB, you made me laugh out loud for the first time all day - THANK YOU! You are truly a blessing! As you are to me my friend.
whichwayisup Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Next time you talk to her, encourage her to just enjoy herself and have fun, that's OK to be homesick, but she's with people who love her, not to let her tears and saddness get in the way. And, let her know you'll be there at the airport waiting for her! Vent away, that's what this place is for. Going along BNB's train of thought - Have you read my rants/complaints? I'm a master of it as well.
bentnotbroken Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Next time you talk to her, encourage her to just enjoy herself and have fun, that's OK to be homesick, but she's with people who love her, not to let her tears and saddness get in the way. And, let her know you'll be there at the airport waiting for her! Vent away, that's what this place is for. Going along BNB's train of thought - Have you read my rants/complaints? I'm a master of it as well. Yup, she's as good as she says she is;) we love company.
Author HsMomma Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Y'all are funny! Yeah, I've been staying as upbeat with her as I know how - encouraging her to make the most of this trip, as it's the chance of a lifetime (they are halfway around the world from home - literally). It's hard on her, though, because she has never spent any prolonged time with either her father or his side of the family (his side of the family because they live around the world from us). And, the bigger issue is...she's a mini-me in personality - my exH is my EX for a reason & most of his family think I'm the antichrist, so it's a bit difficult for her, I'm sure. She's having to suppress to a great extent who she is, because they are not like us - they are a very staid people who don't show much emotion, don't believe in really saying what they think/feel, and who judge others by incredibly harsh rules. I encouraged this trip in the hopes that she & her father might forge a relationship now that she's becoming a young woman instead of a little girl - sounds like they're having a bit of a tough time of it. I just have to believe that I've succeeded in raising her as a moral, kind, loving girl who is strong enough in herself to stand up to any bullying that comes her way. I just mostly wanna give her a Momma hug!
Author HsMomma Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 Not that I've been counting or anything, but...we're almost there! 7 days & 7.5 hours left & she'll be home :bunny: We've been able to keep in touch via emails but I've spoken with her on the phone only once. I have a feeling next Saturday night's gonna be a LONG one with so much to catch up on. That's ok - I'd stay up all night - just wanna get my girl home safely & be able to catch up on my "baby girl hugs"!
Author HsMomma Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 Hang on Momma, it's not that much longer. Hangin' in there, BNB, my friend! Good to hear from you - hope you're doing well. Yep, the official countdown has begun - we're down to less than a week & I can't WAIT! :bunny:
Author HsMomma Posted July 26, 2009 Author Posted July 26, 2009 I understand, moms and daughters have a strong bond. I miss my girl whenever she goes away for a weekend. Hopefully your daughter traveling will be a valuable experience to her. It won't be long now. Thanks! Yep, she's a pretty seasoned traveler. At age 14 (excuse me, 14 and a HALF - she'd insist I include the 1/2), she's been on a caribbean cruise, to London twice & now to the pacific islands. This is, though, the longest she & I have ever been apart. The last London trip was last year & the whole family went (my folks, my h, my daughter & me), so when my h & I came home a week sooner than the rest, that was the only time we had apart from my girl. She & I have made plans for me to take a day off work when she returns, before she starts high school (!!!!) to have a mother/daughter date day. Can't wait! :bunny:
Author HsMomma Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 Yay - we have only three more days til Baby Girl is home. Gotta say, this has been the longest 3 1/2 weeks of my life. :bunny::bunny:Almost there, though! :bunny:
2sure Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 She is homesick. The separation, and dealing with the homesick issue will ultimately be good for her. At least thats what I tell myself and my 13 year old daughter.
Author HsMomma Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 Yeay! Not too long now, HsM! I know! I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning, KNOWING that the present is the one I want...this just happens to be my BEST present ever. I'm not letting her out of reach for at least a day - gotta catch up on all those missed baby girl hugs.
Author HsMomma Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 She is homesick. The separation, and dealing with the homesick issue will ultimately be good for her. At least thats what I tell myself and my 13 year old daughter. I have to say, 2sure, the last couple of emails (we email daily) have been really upbeat & positive from her. I think she's done remarkably well at adjusting. I know she was terribly homesick about mid-way through the trip, but I think she's finally just relaxed & let herself enjoy it. Still...I can't wait to have her home.
Lyssa Posted July 29, 2009 Posted July 29, 2009 I know! I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning, KNOWING that the present is the one I want...this just happens to be my BEST present ever. I'm not letting her out of reach for at least a day - gotta catch up on all those missed baby girl hugs. I guess this must have been how my late mother felt every time I left home! What will you both be doing when you take a day off?
Author HsMomma Posted July 29, 2009 Author Posted July 29, 2009 I guess this must have been how my late mother felt every time I left home! What will you both be doing when you take a day off? We're going first to get her registration for high school completed (eek - she'll be a freshman! )...then, I'm taking her to lunch & shopping for the afternoon. We can do some major damage at the mall! I figured I'd take her to get her outfit for her first day of school. Then, we'll probably just goof around. One of the things we like to do is go down to the old town part of our city, walk around & speak with different accents (weird, I know, but it is fun!)...just to see what kind of reaction we get!
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