warning to others, do not break NC!!!!!!! i did and i'm a fool

[Charmaine_Champagne]

i have made a really big mistake and made myself look weak, pathetic and needy in the process. meanwhile my whole family are hurt, they feel that i betrayed them by contacting my ex and made a fool of myself because they have helped me so much the past few months and they all told me to stick to NC.. then after 5 months of doing what they said and ignoring my ex i broke down and contacted him, going against everything i discussed with them. i'm so angry.

[moo]

You are not a fool. You are just human.

 

You have to do what is best for you. If this person treated you badly and is mean, then you should stay NC and try to be strong, but don't beat yourself up for breaking NC, just try to do better.

 

Okay?

[Charmaine_Champagne]

thanks, i kept telling my family i couldn't bottle it up anymore, NC was driving me mad, even tho i was so strong at times.. i told them i'm not a robot, i have feelings. i finally cracked.. still feel like a fool tho.. just hope it will all blow over tho and in time i'll get stronger

[moo]

You can try journaling your feelings. That might help, or post what you want to say in the forums instead of telling him.

[MagicMan08]

see my ex never really treated me bad and such, unless I deserved it or made her angry. so like I almost feel like sending the letter I mentioned in my other thread kinda breaks the nc rule....but I think it would only help me.

 

But yeah, don't be all desperate and stuff. I just said I missed some of the closer parts of being together and that I miss her. More like memories and such.

[Thomas X Forever]

Now you learned you ****ed up, and next time hopefully you won't. Your failure isn't contacting him. Your failure is not understanding how to release emotions, and instead, feeling like a robot because you haven't contacted him. You should have went to the gym and hit a punching bag; you should have tried writing, maybe a blog; your failure was thinking that the only way to release what was pent up, was to contact him.

 

Hopefully you won't repeat the same failure.

[moo]

CC, I read your other thread and yes I see that he was not nice to you for whatever reason. There's no excuse for what he said to you. I don't think you contacting him was a failure...I just think it was a set back. So you made a mistake..big deal...it happens. It might even happen again. You are not perfect. All you can do is just try to learn from this. You released your emotions to him because you are hurting and you want answers. It's natural. Believe me, I HOUNDED my ex with "why?" and "how could you do this to me?" over and over and it do not make a darn bit of difference except upset me. He decided he was going to be cruel to me and he was. I was broken and I needed his help, but he refused, so I had no choice but to do it on my own. After almost two weeks of consecutive NC I realize, really realize what a selfish pig he is and that I am better off without him. He was an arse wipe through the ENTIRE relationship. I chose to stay with him and now I'm paying the price. But that's my mistake and I'm going to forgive myself and go on.

 

I hope I won't break NC again, but if I do, I would not consider it a failure. I will consider it a mistake and just try to do better next time.