consume Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 So my Ex just sent me an email, just asking how I am and that's pretty much it. This is being a typical thing of her, sending random txt msg's and email's every 2-3 wks. I've kept N/C for the last few weeks/month myself, but I'm wondering if I should reply to her email, and explain that she needs to leave things alone for a while? Or just leave it? These msg's of her are killing my ability to get over things.
adamt Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Don't reply, sounds like she is just being nosey. Unless she says she wants to work things out i cant see any good coming out of it for you.
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 So my Ex just sent me an email, just asking how I am and that's pretty much it. This is being a typical thing of her, sending random txt msg's and email's every 2-3 wks. I've kept N/C for the last few weeks/month myself, but I'm wondering if I should reply to her email, and explain that she needs to leave things alone for a while? Or just leave it? These msg's of her are killing my ability to get over things. You've been doing well keeping N/C. She's trying to keep her hooks into you. Nothing good can come of that. Just delete it. Come to think of it, delete all of her texts to remove the temptation of you reading them.
boogieboy Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Shes trying to stay in your head. She wants you to reply so she knows that you are still pining for her. Do NOT reply to her. My girl used to do this too, it must be an instinctual thing, I wonder what it is.
CaliGuy Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 No, no. Don't reply at all. EVER. She's just fishing for some validation from you. Don't give it to her.
Author consume Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Thanks, so I will delete it. This N/C thing has been hard, because I do still have feelings there I'm trying to get over, so it's hard not to reply. Up until a month ago when I started N/C, she was not replying to my txt's, or calls, yet she would then randomly call and txt me every few weeks... screws with your head... like wtf (don't flame me ) I have every single email from her over the last 3 years sitting in my inbox.... it's so hard to delete them all. Add to that vacation pictures...
waitingpatiently Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 How bout blocking her e-mails so u cant get them? That'll save you the panick-attacks.lol
LakesideDream Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 It's hard getting those messages. My opinion is that they are almost always just a way that the ex is trying to contact you to feel superior. Ignore it.
Author consume Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 So my ex msg'd me again today, relentless she is... and this time... well I replied. I guess I'm gluten for punishment but I just needed to know for certain why she was msg'ing, and what was on her mind. That, and if things were 100% dead, I told her she needed to stop contacting me for a good long while. Probably spilled to much of what I was feeling into that reply but... I felt better (for the short term) getting it out. So, she replied again saying she wanted to discuss things over the phone, which again may have not been the greatest idea, but at least I could get whatever questions where bugging me answered. And they wern't... lol, I got the answer I knew I would... "I don't know what to tell you right now, I don't feel anything anymore"... and there's the ouch lol! She still didn't see the problem in remaining friends, and talking every few weeks, but I made it clear we and I more, needed some space for a good long while. When I hung up it was a pretty crappy feeling, and I really wish I hadn't spoken with her at all. It's like it could have happened yesterday. Shi*ty as I felt, I still didn't get my question answered about how 2 months ago she wanted to "see" where things could go, and now she was no longer interested at ALL... so yes, I called back wanting more punishment. Asked her if it was about another guy, and the big why now? And, I got the same answer... "I don't know what to tell you right now, sry" So now the N/C starts again, except we both agreed to stop all contact... which actually really really stings. It sucks x1000000
bolase Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 well, if it makes you feel any better at all, Ive been deliberating about replying to my ex's latest 'wanting to know youre okay' email, and decided after reading the above post that I WON'T. I actually recently kinda did what you did to his last one and it ended badly, with me admitting that his contact shattered my peace (to which he replied 'emails don't usually shatter someones peace, thats just created by negative space in your mind' **** that pretty insensitive even for a dumper ) so yeah, NC for as long as I can stand it! Sucks still having feelings, its like an addiction.
adamt Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Good for you! keep it up! You may be hurting now but you will be hurting more if you reply to it and start thinking about her. Stay strong. let her wonder about you while you start to move on. It is so tempting to contact the ex, i'm struggling too but i'm gonna stay strong. She hurt me bad and i dont want to go there again
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