v g Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 You are very attractive, and no doubt many other women feel as I do. I agree it's a numbers game. You've got to send lots of e-mails and ask women out. You've got to go out to social settings such as singles mixers and clubs and bars often. Even restaurants. I've found a good line is 'What are you ordering?' When I see men wearing oversized shirts, I figure they're heavy around the middle and are trying to hide this. IMO you should include a photo that shows you're trim. A female friend was telling me she had had sex with a man who turned out to be a virgin. She never would have known had he not told her. His response is that there are lots of books on the subject. He studied up and was confident and ready. Whatever your decision, be prepared and have fun.
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Its the first paragraph. Its dull, to say the least. Most women are probably reading that and not continuing. Think of the first sentence as a place to put your advertising "hook". Make it stand out. Catch their interest. lol, this made me laugh, because in TRUTH I did not read past your opening sentence!!!!!!!! Hi Kaiser. I've taken the liberty of making a few minor edits, so feel free to use or discard them as you see fit. Point is to delete some of the waffling ("Ok, ok where to start? Beginning sounds good I guess.") and personalize it by naming your dog. Now THIS post I read every word all the way through!!! Well done Thaddeus! Captivated my interest...
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Thanks for all your helpful replies, they are very much appreciated and I will implement the suggested changes. I wasn't sure if I should put my photos up here (bit embarrassed!) but I've decided it's probably a good idea so I can optimize my profile. My primary photo is the one of me standing up i.e. the first link. The others are photos that you can see after viewing my profile. I don't look quite that scary in real life! So I'm hoping to get some better photos taken soon. Again, your feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! I really like your first photo -- very good looking, friendly, approachable... I do not like the photo with a female's arm on you!!!!!!!! (a big no no if you are trying to date... no other female parts/faces online with you!) The pic of you on your bike is okay, but not great, because the sunglasses hide your eyes and make you appear unapproachable. I agree with the suggestion of a pic of you and your dog, in a loving, playful pose. The one of you shirtless as a poster mentioned previously, is too much bare skin for online... just wear a well fitting shirt... and take a longshot pic. otherwise all good with your profile and photos ... I am sure you are gonna get a lot of hits!
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Thanks guys for all your helpful feedback (yes even Sith Apprentice!) 2sure, thanks for the feedback but what don't you like about the beach photo? I'm getting a few mixed replies regarding that one; couple of my friends said it was fine (probably just being nice) whereas my brother said I looked like a skinny geek! (ahhh, don't you just love family?!) The problem with the beach pic is that because of the camera angle from above, and because of the items around you being oversized (the flippers, the chair) YOU look like a small child on a deck chair! Do not use it.
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 As for the bike photo -- re-shoot it... change the scenary to a landscape (greenary) indicating an adventurous side to you. Change your clothing to black pants and a nicer shirt. Change your body position to legs down on the ground! Again, you look small on the bike cuz your legs are all gathered up... stretch them out on either side. Also, improve your posture by pulling your shoulders back -- you've got them hunched as you hold the handlebars and it makes you look less powerful, less strong, etc. (you can lean your body forward closer to the handlebars and the camera, while standing legs astride the bike in a Strong pose!) As I said before, lose the sunglasses... no Fly-Eyes! Let's see the new pics when you re-do them!
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 The problem with the beach pic is that because of the camera angle from above, and because of the items around you being oversized (the flippers, the chair) YOU look like a small child on a deck chair! Do not use it. Oh yeah! pet peeve... don't bother putting a caption on the photo like the one you presently have of "Thailand" for the one of you in the beach chair.... that's kinda showing off by the word's descriptive label, instead of the View or Picture being impressive Visually!
Athena Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Just wanted to add... when you re-do the bike photo, wear black pants and a red shirt. These colours will contrast effectively with the bike's colours and be striking. In movies, they always use the colour Red for the main actor's clothing in a crowd scene... it stands out, it grabs attention!
Author kaiser2001 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 Whoa! Didn't think I'd get so many responses! But they are all useful and I will definitely take it all on board. Very interesting that some didn't read past the first line! That goes towards explaining why I haven't been getting any responses. Strange that some of you found the photos attractive, I would say they are anything but....Will get some new photos taken of me with the dog, bike, fishing etc, hopefully this will convey who I am better than words can. Regarding the "v-card", it doesn't really pysch me out anymore. I'm just so used to it I guess. It was a HUGE deal for me in my mid twenties and I was in a big rush to try and get rid of it but it just never happened for whatever reason (I've got no qualms about pre-marital sex etc). It honestly doesn't bother me but having said that I do want to get rid of it of course (but I'll only go so far to achieve that goal!) Thanks again for the feedback guys. Off to edit my profile....
Sith Apprentice Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Online sites are a waste of time. I know people who get laid from them, but their game is completely different from yours. They usually put up assh*le/jerk/bad boy/cocky profiles and they act consistent to the image they're conveying, and they contact dozens of women a day (it's numbers game). It seems like it's the only thing that truly works there. I have already posted an appropriate example of an online profile that's guaranteed to get responses from women. Feel free to copy and paste, but you better have the correct persona in real life to go along with it. If you can't pull women in real life then chances are you're gonna have no success online either. I've been doing online dating for 10 years and I know what works and what doesn't. 99% of guys have profiles like the one he originally posted which is why they get no play online. Or he can die a virgin whichever he prefers.
Athena Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I have already posted an appropriate example of an online profile that's guaranteed to get responses from women. Feel free to copy and paste, but you better have the correct persona in real life to go along with it. If you can't pull women in real life then chances are you're gonna have no success online either. I've been doing online dating for 10 years and I know what works and what doesn't. 99% of guys have profiles like the one he originally posted which is why they get no play online. Or he can die a virgin whichever he prefers. I'm curious -- so you hint at longterm potential for a female respondent in the online profile (the talk about a wife , kids, but when she's over 33years old, lots of sex, etc etc... ) are you in any way actually interested in making any of them a girlfriend to be wifey? Or is it just a ploy to shag as many as you can net?
BobSacamento Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I would only take advice from someone with a name "Sith Apprentice" if you never want to see a vagina again.
Angel1111 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I think you got some good suggestions on how to improve your post. You sound like a great guy but the first thing that jumped out at me is that you seem to expect women to make the first move and contact you. No wonder you're a virgin. You need to get on that site and approach women. Don't sit around waiting for them to fall in your lap.
Thornton Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 OO, you are cute! It definitely isn't your looks that's turning the ladies off! So it must be your ad. OK, here are my thoughts as I read it: About Me Male 30 Australia Ok, ok where to start? Beginning sounds good I guess. Not the best start... you sound indecisive and unsure what to say. Well I'm a vet by profession so I guess that means I should love animals (and yes, yes of course I do!!). You guess you should love animals? So you're not sure? I'm a dog lover in particular (man's best friend after all) and I'm owned by a fantastic German Shepherd. Friends would describe me as easy going, uber-relaxed with an unusual sense of humour (some would say nutty but I beg to differ). OO, bad thing to say... now I think you must be totally nuts I'm loyal and trustworthy to a fault and expect the same from the people I choose to surround myself with. So already you have expectations of me? What if I can't live up to that? You sound very choosy, I dunno if I'm good enough, or whether I really want to be judged by you. You also sound kind of possessive. I tend not to sweat the small stuff (water and a duck's back come to mind....). So you're don't-care-ish? Hmm, I wonder if you'd really care about me then? My main interests are riding my motorbike (it's why God created sunny days), reading (can't forget those rainy days), walking/jogging/sprinting with the dog, exercising and most recently cooking (yes I'll admit it, Masterchef has got me hooked). You only read on rainy days? I love reading, I do it all the time! You're not very specific about anything here. I generally like to stay fit and active but that must be balanced with couch potato days on occasion. Other than that traveling is a passion of mine and while I've done my fair share, it never seems to be enough. Oh, I'm also game to try anything new and exciting. A thrill seeker, hmm? I wonder how long it would take you to get bored with me? Seeking Criteria This members seeking criteria does not match with yours. Members anywhere in Australia. Relationship with a female. Friendship with a female. Between 20 and 33 years of age. Oo, you turned me off immediately. I'm 29, and any guy who would even consider dating a 20 year old is no good for me. If a 20 year old would be intellectually stimulating enough for you, you definitely couldn't handle being with me. What I'm Looking For Pretty much looking for someone easy going and who doesn't take herself too seriously. Stimulating conversation is a must of course which goes hand in hand with some serious laughter so a sense of humour would also help. A desire to travel would earn serious kudos as I'd love to explore this fantastic planet with that special someone. You could be a little more specific here. Say some positive sounding things about the woman you want to meet. What turns me off? Mainly a negative attitude - need not apply. Negative - I'd suggest removing this, it makes you sound mean. Don't say anything negative about what you don't want, just say what you do want. My advice is: rewrite and be more specific and concise, less undecided, don't say "I guess" or anything like that. Make yourself sound good - don't say you're nuts, instead tell me how successful and fun-loving you are, how you have your life together in terms of professional achievements and friends but you still want to find a special lady to share it with. You want to sound like you have something to offer the lady you end up dating. Make yourself sound open, kind, non-judgmental, loyal but not clingy. I would also recommend upping your age requirements, because a lot of the older ladies will be turned off by the fact that you'd be willing to date a 20 year old. Be more specific about what you enjoy and who you are as a person - what sort of books do you like and which authors? What kind of bike do you have? What sort of exercise do you do? What sort of meals do you cook? Would you like to cook for me? Describe the girl you want to meet too, in such a way that a girl will think "She sounds wonderful and I want to identify with that picture". Hope this helps
darknightie Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I would only take advice from someone with a name "Sith Apprentice" if you never want to see a vagina again. This made me almost fall out of my chair. SO true.
Author kaiser2001 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Posted July 23, 2009 Ok, you guys are good! I made all the changes you suggested - i think the biggest thing was upping the age I was looking for. Logged onto the dating website tonight and had a contact request from what seems like a pretty nice lady. Looks quite attractive as well! Just spent the last 20mins chatting with her and she sounds fun and switched on. Angel, you're pretty close to the mark unfortunately but I have changed that around and the number of ladies I'm contacting now has tripled. Thornton thanks for the kind words and helpful advice. Needed bit of a confidence boost so your post was very timely!
utterer of lies Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Ok, you guys are good! I made all the changes you suggested - i think the biggest thing was upping the age I was looking for. Logged onto the dating website tonight and had a contact request from what seems like a pretty nice lady. Looks quite attractive as well! Just spent the last 20mins chatting with her and she sounds fun and switched on. Angel, you're pretty close to the mark unfortunately but I have changed that around and the number of ladies I'm contacting now has tripled. Thornton thanks for the kind words and helpful advice. Needed bit of a confidence boost so your post was very timely! Another tip: I think your text is WAY too long. Good texts are only a few lines, to provoke interested. All the 'boring' stuff and details you can find out when chatting or dating. The most replies I ever got on an online dating site was an ad with: 'mischieveous cynic'.
prettziel Posted July 26, 2009 Posted July 26, 2009 OO, you are cute! It definitely isn't your looks that's turning the ladies off! Agreed, except I was like hhhmmm...he's is cute. lol! I think your smile portrays your personality. I just think you may need to work on your self-confidence. From what I've seen and read, there is no reason not to be assured of yourself. Good luck on your search. Keep us posted.
hawaiiicandy Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 You're description didn't give me the feeling that I would want to get to know you. And, it's NOT that girls don't go for nice guys. That is just an excuse to make you feel better about not being interesting enough to catch anyone's attention. I know I can speak for myself.. I like men that give off a sense of confidence, are easy-going and friendly and have a good sense of direction in their life. Your profile doesn't show that.
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