Racerone Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Hi, this is my first post here and I am really looking for some help and advice. I have been dating a guy for about 5 years, we have lived together for roughly 3 years, everything has been going ok but lately I feel we have drifted apart. He is very secretive, he hides his phone from me, locks his PC if I walk past and I know he is chatting on instant messengers to other people and they say they are just his friends but why the need for secrets? I feel he doesn't love me and is just with me because he hasn't the money to move out, I also believe he is planning to meet up a "friend" or girl in a month or two, he said it is a relation coming to visit but I feel otherwise. I just feel I can't make him happy like other people can. I know probably part of the problem is me, I have put on weight and maybe he just doesn't fancy me anymore. I just feel like I am waiting for him to announce he is leaving me for someone else. I have tried to talk to him about it all but he puts the blame on me and says it is just me being jealous etc.
lucy9216 Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 It really sounds like something may be going on and it doesent look good. If you want to try and save your relationship at all I would say try talking to him but not in the sense of accussing him of cheating or wanting to leave you for someone else because if this is the case he will not admit it anyway. Try to communicate with him on the actual reason as to why your relationship may be failing, but actually communicate in a calmn and collective way. Do not place any blame on him and do not make excuses for yourself in saying your errors are his fault. These are just things people like to hear and when you talk to them this way they will be more open to hear what you have to say and more willing to communicate with you. I would only say do this IF!!! you actually want to work things out with him, if not and the secrets really do bother you and you would just like him out I would say that you need to just break it off. Good luck
Author Racerone Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Thanks, I just think even lately we can't even talk without him raising his voice and starting an argument, a few minutes ago, he just had a go at me and trying to blame me for something I didn't do, It just is no fun anymore. I used to remember the times when we would have a laugh and just be silly and smile all the time. Now it is the opposite. I do love him more than anything but if it is only me feeling this way, it isn't enough is it. To me it feels like he wants to blame me for everything and I am the one that seems to get upset. He basically tries to make out I am jealous and possessive but to me it feels like he is giving me reasons to be suspicious.
Author Racerone Posted July 25, 2009 Author Posted July 25, 2009 I really think we are so distant nowadays. I slept on the couch last night and basically most of today, we have hardly spoke and he has been "ringing" people in the other room. I am so fed up. I thought relationships were supposed to be fun, this certainly isn't.
fallendisguise Posted July 25, 2009 Posted July 25, 2009 I second what lucy9216 said. But that is only if you want to salvage the relationship. However, it sounds that he isn't even willing to talk to you about it period, which is not good. Yes, relationships have rough patches, but this sounds like much more (him being secretive, picking fights, turning the situation on you, etc.). It sounds like he is guilty of something and is unwilling to do anything about it and work things out with you. You shouldn't stay in a situation that makes you unhappy or makes you feel bad about yourself. Relationships can be fun, but its going to be with someone who loves, adores, and respects you. It doesn't seem like this guy does anymore, so I think you should move on and find the one who does.
Recommended Posts