moonbeam125 Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Okay, so a male friend of mine (outside of my main circle of friends) reads my personal online journal. In the past, I told him I was interested in him, but he chose to remain as friends. Just recently he met one of my closest friends and he kept referencing things that I wrote about in my journal. His behaviour that day was really odd as he was acting much nicer than usual and was much easier to talk to...although it could have been the environment (we were at my close friend's house). He remembers small details that I wrote about and even asked about my parents, which weirded me out a little. Another one of my friends was there as well and she commented how we sounded like an old married couple (haha). Would someone without any romantic interest make efforts to remember details you write in your personal journal? Even my closest friends who also read my journal don't remember small details. The only thing he neglected to mention were the posts that I wrote about how I developed feelings for him. Either he has low levels of interest or he's a bit of a stalker. Thoughts?
redhighheels Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Only people that are highly interested in you make the effort to remember tiny details about your life. Congratulations, sounds like you have a fan!
Author moonbeam125 Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 thanks redhighheels...I was thinking the same thing too, except this guy has always been a little confusing. First he says we should stay friends, then he starts acting "flirty" (or at least what I consider flirty) via poking and play fighting. This went on for a while until I commented on how his behaviour seemed flirty and he stopped doing it and started initiating "flirting" with a friend. I joked about how he was being flirty and he responded that he doesn't poke people he's interested in. And yet he remembers small things, there is an occasional poke when I poke first (although at one point he did comment on why I was touching him)...so again, I was confused.
eric82 Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 He's not into you. He only flirts with you because he knows you're into him and that puts him in a good mood. When you know a person likes you, being near that person is an ego boost. It's easy to start acting flirty without meaning to or realizing it. It just happens. When you pointed out his behavior, he started flirting with other girls in front of you because he was showing you that he wasn't trying to lead you on. In other words, he knows you're still into him and he's still not interested in you. He doesn't want you to take his flirting personally or for you to read into things. He's only being playful, nothing more. As for why he would read your journal and remember details, when a girl admits her feelings for guy, it can make him wonder what it is about him that she admires and so he looks for details. Curiosity about how others feel about you. Have you ever lurked the myspace/facebook/twitter/etc. of a girl you don't get along with because she's been saying stuff behind you back? Same deal, just instead of saying bad things, it's good things. It's about him caring about himself and how he's perceived, not about you.
Author moonbeam125 Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Thanks for the reality check, eric82. As disappointing as it is, I was also thinking that as well. Interesting take on why he would remember small details, I never thought of it that way. I, personally, don't lurk to find out about other people and why we might not get along...if I'm not meant to know, I'd prefer not to find out. But that's just me, so that's an interesting take...does seem kinda selfish, doesn't it...hmm
paddington bear Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 He's not into you. He only flirts with you because he knows you're into him and that puts him in a good mood. When you know a person likes you, being near that person is an ego boost. It's easy to start acting flirty without meaning to or realizing it. It just happens. When you pointed out his behavior, he started flirting with other girls in front of you because he was showing you that he wasn't trying to lead you on. In other words, he knows you're still into him and he's still not interested in you. He doesn't want you to take his flirting personally or for you to read into things. He's only being playful, nothing more. As for why he would read your journal and remember details, when a girl admits her feelings for guy, it can make him wonder what it is about him that she admires and so he looks for details. Curiosity about how others feel about you. Have you ever lurked the myspace/facebook/twitter/etc. of a girl you don't get along with because she's been saying stuff behind you back? Same deal, just instead of saying bad things, it's good things. It's about him caring about himself and how he's perceived, not about you. I hate to say it, but I think Eric has this one nailed. And because I've had similar flirtatious, change of behaviour, remembering details from 'we're just friends' guys. And though things seemed to be changing, nothing did. Honestly, much as you probably like the flirting, I would tell him that if you're just friends you'd prefer if he didn't, that it confuses the issue, that way you can't read stuff into it that's not there. He's getting an ego-boost and you're getting your hopes up. But an ego-boost flirt is not the same as a 'I'm really attracted to you and now I want to be more than friends' flirt.
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