CarrieT Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 I have officially been single for a year now. My last date was 10 months ago; right after I broke up with my BF, I went on a bunch of dating/sex websites to get a hook-up (I hadn't had any the last 18 months of my relationship). I got that out of my system and started to look in earnest for a legitimate relationship, to no avail. I went the route of dating sites as I work (self-employed) upwards of 100 hours a week. My last four dates stood me up. The most recent was this last Friday night. This was a guy I had actually met in person at a street fair (where I sell my wares), so there was chemistry. We had emailed back and forth and finally set upon a night to meet, but I never heard from him. The dichotomy in all this is that professionally, all my 100-hour weeks are starting to pay off; my art work is appearing in publications, I am selling my work, and one of my pieces was just purchased by Carrie Fisher (yeah, Pricess Leia!). So on Friday, I had all these reasons to celebrate and was looking forward to sharing all this good news with my prospective date, only to find myself alone in a restaurant with a book, struggling with the sadness of being alone and yet thrilled at my recent success. I know all the usual comments; "don't push it, you will find someone," blah-blah-blah... I just need to vent that I am frustrated to have all these good things happening and yet no one with whom to share the good news. So the celibacy continues - I'm just hoping it won't be another ten or eleven months. Thanks for listening.
boldjack Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Congratulations on your success!!:) You must feel very proud. I'm sure that you have friends and family to help you celebrate your triumph, don't you? As far as men are concerned, what are you looking for? Longterm, FWB, ONS, what? From your other posts, you have had a very adventurous sex life. Could you settle for just one partner? Could you be open enough to establish a trusting bond with a guy? I'm not trying to dog you, I just think that you should decide what it is you want and if you are able to be happy with your choice.
Author CarrieT Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 My adventurous sex life with multiple partners was mostly two decades ago; early married with a husband who was adventurous because he was (as I found out later), gay. He wanted threesomes and orgies to explore his homosexual side. I was in my early twenties and was still learning and exploring my sexuality, so experimenting did not seem unreasonable -- until I came home early from work one day to find him in a people puddle with three other men on our living room floor. I have only ever been in long-term, committed relationships (five years with my husband, than three other relationships; 3 years, 12 years, and the last, 2 1/2 years). So, yes, I could definitely settle for one partner and would prefer to! My last relationship was with an alcoholic and the last 18 months of our 30-month relationship was entirely without sex, hence my quickie hook-ups (only three times in three months). And the reason I didn't continue with that promiscuous activity is that there was no intimacy, trust, or true connection. I thought I would feel better if I at least had a little bit of sex after such a long time without. Quite honestly, I would really like to be married again. I would like to find that one person with whom I could share the rest of my life. It doesn't mean I can't still be sexually adventurous, but would hopefully mean that my partner and I would be adventurous together. Even in our old age! And thanks for the congrats!
boldjack Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Carrie, I'm already spoken for:D, but you have always struck me as the very type of self-assured, intelligent woman I'm usually attracted to. I'm sure that many men around you feel the same way. I think that you must try to invest enough time (I know that your schedule is busy) in meeting a better type of man, someone who will cherish the love you seem very willing to give. Best of Luck..........Jack
Recommended Posts