santiagi Posted November 7, 2003 Posted November 7, 2003 I am confused w/my NEW LOVE... BRIEFLY:I recently broke up with my sons father(5 year relationship) and I met this great guy(co-worker for 3 years) which has liked me since I first started working at my job(by the way I was pregnant when I started). All our co-workers are very happy for us. They say we are perfect for each other, he needs a good woman like me and how he has changed to his old self(good) they have not seen in a long time. He is a wonderful person all I ever dreamed for and I really like him. He is 31(I am 23) and has been single for the past 3 years and feels like he doesn't want to change his life pattern to be in a long term relationship which he might regret later...but then again he said from the first day we talked (dating for 2 months) he wants a serious relationship with me but wants to take it slow so that it will work out and he feels everything is going great between us and he leaves at that because he prefers not to talk about it because it will push him away. He doesn't want obligations...he doesn't want to get hurt (he has been hurt too many times before)...I feel I am wasting my time. I really like him, and he really likes me. He is a great father with his daughter(11y) and he loves my sons(3 & 2) and wants another child. I need advise, I am confused.
Tony T Posted November 7, 2003 Posted November 7, 2003 Any person who doesn't want to discuss issues with you and clarify his position is someone you must approach with extreme caution. Usually, people like this who aren't open to "talking about it" are up to something. Otherwise, they would be open and frank. If he cared about you, he would want you to be very clear on his position on relationships. So talking about it is going to push him away, uh??? Why is that??? DUH!!! Right now, you are taking a chance being around him because he has sent you some mixed messages. If he is otherwise a nice guy, go with it for a while. But if after a reasonable amount of time, he still doesn't want to talk about the two of you in at least general terms, delete him from your hard drive and let him remain a nice friend. You've got other people to think about and you don't need to be constantly guessing about where his head is at. Always be cautious of men who won't communicate their feelings and intentions.
Author santiagi Posted November 7, 2003 Author Posted November 7, 2003 When ever we talk about RELATIONSHIP he gets pushed away. He wants to take it "slow". He expresses his feelings a lot ...he is just afraid of getting into a relationship after being single for 3 years. He says he is very happy with me he hasn't felt like this in a very long time and the only thing going right in his life is me. He says he really likes me but he is afraid of falling in love and I will hurt him, he has been hurt too many times before. BLAH BLAH BLAH I feel the same way, but I never been hurt before. I have been dragged through 3 relationships and I am afraid he will hurt me (because I actually like him) and I will get a taste of my own medicine.
C1 Posted November 9, 2003 Posted November 9, 2003 He doesn't want a relationship, what more do you need to know?
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