jenebear81 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Back story to my problem: The guy that I was seeing persued me for 3 months while I was with someone else. Our mutual friend told me that he liked me...saw alot of good qualities in me..so on and so forth. I broke up with my boyfriend and started seeing him a week later. I then find out from the same friend that this guy is still interested...but is not sure what he wants and does not know if he ever wants a relationship. I took this as, he did not want to jump into anything but saw saw something in me that he liked and just wanted to take things slow. So we were officially "seeing each other" for just over a month and I broke things off even though I did not want to. Reasons: -NO affection after sex...just a bit of chatting. -we would mutually call each other a few times throughout the weeks we were seeing each other but I was always the one who initiated getting together. -we only saw each other once a week. -No affection EVER. -when I would leave to go home he would just give me a quick peck and say call me. What happened here? Is he not into me? am I too quick to judge after one month? Is he being like this because I still live with my exboyfriend?(I am moving out in 2 weeks) Is it because he is the strong silent macho type? Is it because he has been cheated on a few times in the past 2 years? Why did he seem hurt when I broke it off?
Author jenebear81 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Also, when I say he persued me for 3 months, that means we were hanging out with one another every other week. (just nothing sexual)
Thaddeus Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Classic "chaser" mentality. He pursued you. You, consciously or otherwise, made him chase you. He got what he wanted. It's a huge notch in his belt because you're still living with your ex. But now that he's got that notch he's beginning to check out. Ladies, please please get this: Getting a man to chase you will only attract chasers.
Author jenebear81 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 He chased me while I was with my boyfriend. I initiated all the plans when we were seeing each other. Isn't that wrong?
Thaddeus Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 He chased me while I was with my boyfriend.That's what I mean. You were even more of a challenge because you were already attached. Remember, it's the chase that these guys like so much. Long-term relationships, not so much.
Author jenebear81 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 does that kind of guy ever come back because you ended it so abruptly and made a point.
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 does that kind of guy ever come back because you ended it so abruptly and made a point. Hard to know. He might if he senses another chase, but isn't likely to stick around long.
Author jenebear81 Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 so I find out today that the guy was just taking it slow (as was I) and didn't want to get too close too soon cause I am still living with ex boyfriend and so on. But since when is showing a little bit of affection and acting a bit interested getting too close or serious? was I rushing things? Should I call the guy or just leave it alone?
green/eyes Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 How did you find out he was just taking it slow?
alclarkey Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Call me crazy, but find that people can still call having sex "taking it slow" ironic.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Call me crazy, but find that people can still call having sex "taking it slow" ironic. Exactly. A guy who is "taking it slow" and also boning you is 99 times out of 100 just after sex.
boogieboy Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 so I find out today that the guy was just taking it slow (as was I) and didn't want to get too close too soon cause I am still living with ex boyfriend and so on. But since when is showing a little bit of affection and acting a bit interested getting too close or serious? was I rushing things? Should I call the guy or just leave it alone? That might be the way he is protecting himself, or me might not be the affectionate type.
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