lora22 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Since I'm moving, I've decided to start fresh in regards to dating also. I'm going to keep the guy I mentioned in another thread as a friend, take it slow, and see if anything comes of it. It's still relatively soon after my last breakup, about 2 or 3 months, and I don't want this guy to be a rebound relationship. In the meantime, I plan on dating other people. So, last weekend I went out with a guy (Chris) from the area I'm moving to that I met when I was in town on business the last couple weeks. It was a typical dinner/drinks date, and I had a lot of fun - we definitely have a lot in common, including our profession (which may not be a good thing), although I'm not sure if we really have any chemistry. It was a good date, at the end of the night he walked me to my car, kissed me on the cheek, said he had fun and would like to see me again. I agreed. Last week he sent me an email saying we should go to a particular golf course soon (one of the things we have in common is we both love to golf) - so I messaged him back that I'd love to, let him know when I was available, and asked what his schedule was like. He replied that he's actually really busy the next couple weeks, and had meant we should keep that course in mind for the future? But then Thursday he called me and asked me to go out to dinner again this last weekend (I wasn't available). I'm confused about why he apparently wasn't serious about golf, but then had time for another dinner date? Thoughts? Maybe our first date didn't go as well as I had thought?
Thaddeus Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I think you're reading too much into this. He already said that, "he's actually really busy the next couple weeks, and had meant we should keep that course in mind for the future?" Sounds like he's just under a bit of a time crunch right now, and as you know, 18 holes of golf takes an extensive amount of time, a dinner date not so much. Really, I wouldn't give this a second thought. It's all good.
Author lora22 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 You're probably right. I guess I was just a little unsure since the golf thing SEEMED like an invitation for a date the way he phrased the email (other than the fact that it was an email and not a phone call). We didn't set anything up since I declined his dinner invitation. Should I wait and see if he asks me out again, or ask him to do something? Grr this is why it might not be a good thing that we are in the same field!
EddieN Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I think you're reading too much into this. He already said that, "he's actually really busy the next couple weeks, and had meant we should keep that course in mind for the future?" Sounds like he's just under a bit of a time crunch right now, and as you know, 18 holes of golf takes an extensive amount of time, a dinner date not so much. Really, I wouldn't give this a second thought. It's all good. I agree. It might of seemed like an invitation, but I think it was just a suggestion for the future. Like Thaddeus said, going out for a round of golf is nearly an all-day activity. If you're busy people, you can't really call a girl on a Friday and say, "Wanna play 18 holes tomorrow?" I think he's just seeing if you'd be into doing that in the future. Golf would be such a fun date with a girl. I've yet to meet a girl who's taken up the game, though. A girl like that would be HOT.
Author lora22 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Ha, my parents own several golf courses, so I grew up playing. It's true, there aren't many younger women who play - I've always wondered when the older women who play in leagues started golfing. Not gonna lie, I hope that one day I meet a guy who'll join a couples league with me
EddieN Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Ha, my parents own several golf courses, so I grew up playing. Holy crap, that's awesome! Damn, do you know how much easier that would have been for my bro and I? We used to sneak out to Trump's local course here in the summer and play a few holes right before it got dark. That was the only way we were ever gonna get to play there, haha!
Author lora22 Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 That's pretty sweet - and the story's even better since you snuck in!
Author lora22 Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 He called this morning just to say hi and see if I needed help with my move! I'm not going to see him again before I move next week, but since my move coincides with his schedule opening up I asked him to go on a wine tour with me and some of my friends who are couples...I'm hoping it's not too awkward since we haven't known each other long, but since both our schedules can be hectic at times I wanna grab opportunities when they arise, but I won't blow off my friends either...
Author lora22 Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 So Chris called me tonight just to chat - and he mentioned that he tends to lose interest in women once he feels like he "has" them??!! I'm not sure exactly how to take that, since what he's told me of his dating history is that he doesn't date much; he's dated a couple girls long term (years). Didn't really get the impression that he's a "chaser." In the same convo he mentioned that he wants to move back "home" next year (where he grew up, which is probably 8 or 9 hours away). Regardless, it was a turn off and I kinda wish I'd just said "Well why would I want to date you then?" But I didn't. And now I'm wondering if it's rude to uninvite him to the wine tour. It would also be rude to waste his time. I'm not looking for something really serious right now (if it happens that's fine, but I'm not "looking" if that makes sense), but I'm also not really into casual sex, which I guess might be what he's looking for if he mentioned the chasing thing, plus that he wants to move next year. *Sigh*
EddieN Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 So Chris called me tonight just to chat - and he mentioned that he tends to lose interest in women once he feels like he "has" them??!! What the hell kind of a comment is that? It's one thing to be confident about how the other person perceives you. It's another thing to be a douchecake about it.
Bayern Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 Golf usually seems to be an all-day thing. Dinner is more of a night thing that doesn't take as much time. Probably already been mentioned, though. Good luck, Lola.
New Again Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 "Ew" is right. Figure out what you really want, or don't want, as the case may be. If you definitely know that you no longer want to date this guy, don't ever want to hook up with him (you don't know if you have chemistry?), and would never consider a relationship with him of any kind - uninvite him. Regardless of what he wants or is thinking, if you literally want nothing from him, you'll be wasting both your time. Otherwise, why not go on another date and then decide? I think sometimes it takes a couple/three dates to begin to see if you have chemistry and so on.
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