JaneS Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 My boyfriend said a couple of things to me today that I should have pounced on in the actual conversation; I did not, goddamit! Does this sound like a man who's actually bothered? - "'it's nice being in a relationship, but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out" - So, do you think I am still potential boyfriend material then?" (I thought I was his girlfriend already!) Dear oh dear....please help? :confused:
Thaddeus Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 There's nothing to decipher. He told you the truth about what he feels; that being in a relationship is nice, but it's not the be-all and end-all of his life. He was just checking in with you-being "authentic," if you will-to ensure that you and he were on the same page. Nothing even remotely mysterious about it, no hidden meanings, no hints or subtle cues.
OpenBook Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 It sounds to me like he's testing you, because he's nervous about you and the relationship. He's afraid he'll get absorbed and devoured by you, that you'll turn into a needy emotional succubus (every man's worst fear). Have you been trying to force a lot of discussions about your relationship lately? Or acted clingy or assumed too much about his intentions of "forever" with you? It takes two to tango. While you're checking out his words and behavior, check out your own as well - specifically, y'all's interaction together. How are you both feeding it? And while you're at it, give a good hard look at whether he's the right guy for you. He's right, in a way, what he said about relationships not being the end of the world. He sure isn't the be-all and end-all of YOUR happiness. Right?????
Author JaneS Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Thanks Thaddeus and OpenBook for your views, Hmm, think I tend to over analyse things sometimes - just came across to me that he wasn't really that fussed. We had a discussion about the relationship today - definitely not assuming too much about the future. In fact, I told him that I was not going to be moving nearer to him (he wanted this) because I have got a new job in my area - we live some distance apart. I think that I come across quite the opposite of clingy.
Recommended Posts