Butterflying Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I'm currently searching for that special someone to share my life with in a committed relationship. In the meantime I meet a lot of men. I'm sociable and my job allows this luxury. I have standards but there is an exception to most of the rules. However, there are some things that I can't tolerate. This is were I need your opinion. Am I being over the top? I recently met this guy at the mall. We were buying music. We exchanged numbers. We called each other the same day and made plans to have lunch the very next day. It was the weekend. We spoke and confirmed our date two hours prior. I arrived 20 minutes early for our lunch date. I waited until exactly the time we were to meet. Then I called him to see if he had gotten lost or something. This guy was at home relaxing. He told me to wait for him because he was on his way to meet me. I considered waiting. But he lived at least 30 minutes away from our meeting place. I didn't want to wait for him so I left and told him we could reschedule. He was very disappointed that I wouldn't wait for him. Since that time, this guy has been calling me to reschedule. It's been at least a month now and we haven't gone out yet. But we talk on the phone frequently. I'm reluctant to schedule another date with him because I don't want to get stood up or end up waiting for him again. Initially I hadn't planned to speak to this guy again after he screwed up the first date. It just seemed like he didn't take it seriously. And he didn't even have an excuse. He just laughed and insisted that I should have waited for him. If I decide not to ever go out with this guy, would that make me too picky? Or would I be avoiding a train wreck?
littlewhiterose Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Really? On date #1? Sounds like it's a sneak peek of things to come if you did decide to pursue anything with this guy.
Bejita463 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 He is trying to get you used to catering to his whims. To get you used to waiting on him. Him being at home screwing around was intentional, and he proves that by the fact he laughed about it. It is not being picky to not want someone trying to put you in their pocket.
boogieboy Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 No youre not being picky, its clearly a red flag that he was at home when he was supposed to meet you. Next!
Author Butterflying Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 He is trying to get you used to catering to his whims. To get you used to waiting on him. Him being at home screwing around was intentional, and he proves that by the fact he laughed about it. It is not being picky to not want someone trying to put you in their pocket. This is what I was afraid of. But I get confused because he has basically been begging me to go out with him. I've been busy with work, other dates, and my "Me" time alone at home or whatever. I truly have to plan dates. I don't have a lot of time to be spontaneous. Fitting him into my schedule the day after we met was a miracle. And I had to leave work early in order to do it. I don't know! I have next weekend free. Of course this guy wants to schedule something. There are a million other things I could do with that time besides him. My hearts really not in it because of the way the first date turned out. But I'd hate to run away from him IF his behavior is typical of most guys. In the past I would move on and not think twice. But after several years I'm still alone. So I don't know if it's me, or the guys I'm choosing.
Un-Conventional Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 You're definitely not being too picky. And everybody has those moments were they question "am i settling by bending my rules?" or "Am I being too picky with my standards?" but there is nothing wrong with having certain things that can't be broken, not even bent, when it comes to choosing whom to date. Whether others consider it to be big deal or not, if its a big deal to you then that's all that matters. As far as this situation I feel like this is an easy decision, drop this clown and move on. But if you are willing to give him another chance (and he is extremely lucky that u are) then by all means go head. Also don't question/contribute/relate the fact that u are currently single/alone to the fact that you are "too picky", otherwise you will drop all your standards in a desperate attempt to get into a relationship. It may be just like you said, it is the type of guys u are choosing or the type of guys that are choosing you. I always says good looks are NOT a smart bomb, u will attract the smart, successful, good guys but unfortunately u will also attract the players, jerks and other forms of douche bags.
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