bolase Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 argh. yesterday my ex who left me broke NC and asked to know various thigns about my life..I gave vague answers and he wanted to know more but I was strong and didn't reply. For then. Now today he emailed with 'how am i supposed to know what your doing if you wont answer?' so I cracked and asked him why he was contacting me. He told me that it was to see if i'm going on this short course hes going on, and because he thinks we still have some things left to talk about. im so mad at myself for replying cause now its opened up my wounds and showed that clear as day to him..this is not a good day, i feel pathetic. but I told him if it'll give you peace, ask, what things do you want to discuss. i'm mainly at peace with us and emailing disturbs that, so you might as well tell me. He then said 'i'm mostly at peace with it too, 'i just thougt youd want to talk about a few things, i do, so i assumed - but if you don't that's cool.' i asked him to just type out what he wanted to talk about with me, but now he hasn't replied and i am feeling like a huge loser:bunny: I should have left . now he's brought up that he wants to discuss something, im analysing it to death in my head, and he won't even go ahead and tell me.
Author bolase Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 oh and one of the first things he said was do you think we can be friends. i'd really like to know.
Author bolase Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 last post..i just want to call him and demand he expand on this...so bad! but I guess he just wanted to poke his nose into my life and was disappointed when I wasn't 'friend'-ly..i don't know anything about men any more.
tkgirl Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 oh and one of the first things he said was do you think we can be friends. i'd really like to know. he's feeling guilty... seriously, do you think you could be friends with him now? I'm not you but I can sort of relate... he sounds like he's messing with your head... why, I don't know. But I think you just need to walk away from it all... tell him something like "maybe some day we can be friends, but right now I need time for myself." You don't owe him any more explanation than that.
gd26 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 The longer you continue this back and forth communication with him, the longer it will continue to hurt. Stop talking to him, and start going through the healing process. Going NC may hurt more in the beginning than keeping communication... but at least the pain will also end faster this way as well. Keeping in touch with him only holds you back and keeps you attached. He obviously isn't looking to be with you, otherwise, he would still be your boyfriend and not broken up with you.
Author bolase Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 thanks for your advice:) an update, i know this is probably boring but i just have to spit it out to the world where it takes a weight off my shoulders..... He wrote saying he didnt want to be in my black book and I said youre not, youre not in my book, if you want to talk about something...bring it up. it then goes like this: him: ''your not in my book' - thats the kind of stuff I want to talk about. how do you expect to have fun at (a workshop in september) if your thinking or even saying things like that? your in my book, but it sounds like you want me dead. please don't say 'I don't want you dead' - thats how your words sound to read. please just talk not just shut me down.. me: (thanks for the advice tkgirl!) Maybe one day, we can be friends, but right now I'd like my space so I can continue moving on. I gave you a chance to air your thoughts, since you contacted me. You're just being too dramatic. him: your finishing with a sentence that leaves no room for conversation, then walking out of the room. its not productive. arrrgggg i DO want him to share with me, but he doesnt seem to be able to bring up anthing, just complains about what I say to excuse himself. this is where i should not write back right? please tell me what to do, this is excruciating.
NopeNah Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I take it you're the "dumpee" here? If so, i'm going thru the same deal..except.. I'm not responding! There's no need to stroke their ego and make it OK.
Author bolase Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 i am..well good to have company:p but youre stronger than i at this point, I just did teh stroking of the ego by answering his questions and opening up, and admitting his email broke my peace. he had the nerve to reply saying 'emails dont usually break someones peace, thats just yourmind creating the negatve space' bull**** I was content when we were in NC then this did me in:lmao: then I still answered him. need to be stronger.
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