hopefulguy Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Hi everyone, i am new here but have been reading threads for the past month and a half. it's really cool to see how everyone supports eachother here. so thank you in advance and heres my story (very brief considering whats going on...i may create a new thread with more detail later) Ok...my ex and i were together for 5 years. Were both 22 years old. We were everything to eachother, we always talked about kids, our future lives. We were inseperable. She broke up with me about a month and a half ago and i was obviously devasted as we all are when this happens. However there were many reasons for the break up, and im telling you now me and my ex had a very very honest relationship and great connection that i dont ever think will go away. we tell eachother anything and everything which i know how its suppose to be, but many relationships are not like that. she said she wasnt happy anymore, shes falling out of love, she needs to grow and be alone but shes not thinking of dating other guys and thats its something that she has to do for herself. however i am her first real boyfriend and all in all i know shes just confused and scared. she said she loves me with all her heart and that she doesnt know whats gonna happen but if i dont let her go i may lose her forever. she just needs to figure out if i'm the one. of course i was mad and hurt at first, but a few weeks later of healing we talked. she admitted to me that she missed me and thought about coming back to me, but it wouldnt be the right thing to do. I was confused again because i still had the hope of getting back together soon. I was wrong because i shouldnt have expected things to be a fairy tale ending in one month. so another week or 2 of NC and healing i realized and understood and accepted it. i knew where she was coming from. so i sent her a letter saying that and she appreciated it and and said it meant the world to her. so i felt better about basically making her feel better because thats all i care about. i guess thats what unconditional love is. alot of things werent said in the above paragraph which happened in the span of a month and a half but was a brief summary. but we saw eachother again for the 2nd time in the last month for a friends birthday. we had fun together, we went there together , hung out with friends, had a blast. but we kept our distance like we should. later that night it was pretty late so when we got to her house she said "lets go sleep" cause we were a little tipsy. we flirted a little throughout the night but we both discussed how its not healthy and we cant do that even though we both admitted we want it. so i went in to the house and we slept on her bed. we didnt do anything. it wasnt akward, her house is basically my home. my question comes in here. in the morning when i was leaving i told her to come say bye to me. i was still laying in bed while she was doing stuff in her room. so she came and sat next to me, i got up sitting next to her and we hugged. then i kind of layed down and she was still sitting and we were hugging but her upper body layed on top of mine. and we gazed into eachothers eyes for a good amount of time. its like she wanted to tell me something but she couldnt. the thing about her is if she makes a decision, shes gonna stick with it. she doesnt give in, shes a very strong woman. but when we looked into eachothers eyes i felt we can feel eachother. but i just dont know what to think, it felt like i can feel words from her eyes coming into my heart, and vice versa. it felt like she was trying to tell me she loves me and missed me. her gorgeous eyes wouldnt come off mine and i was at a high looking back into hers wanting to tell her i love her so much and to tell her to come back to me. but i couldnt say it, i know that i shouldnt say it. so what do you guys think of this? can true love take a break? do sometimes people really need to find themselves? and can you really tell what a person is feeling deep down inside their heart by looking into their eyes? does it seem like she already has a plan in place? THANK YOU for taking the time to read this. much love to everyone!
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 love is love that is real god u can love someone and not be with them. and maybe she is confused and needs a break relationships are hard and some ppl need clarity and guidance and mature to sustain. not saying that u wont be with her but yeah true love can take a "break" if u both want to be with each other then u will u have to believe.
Exit Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I'm familiar with these types of girls who make a decision and stick to it, even if they want the exact opposite. It's almost like proving to themselves that they can manage alone. Maybe one day she'll be back. Keep your distance and limit contact to prevent yourself from getting hurt again.
LostFocus Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I was in a similar situation of few months back(reason I found this site) and I basically did almost the complete opposite of what you did. And things have been up and down, up and down. I think you should stick to what you are doing. You almost have her but if you reach out she is going to withdraw from you again. When and if she is ever ready she will let you know. I had a similar experience with my ex about a month ago except I slept with her and the next day I brought up the relationship and if she's ready to get back together. She backed off from me so learn from my situation and just be patient. She will come to you.
norajane Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 it felt like she was trying to tell me she loves me and missed me.Sure, but that's not all that she was saying with her eyes. She was also saying "and because I love you, I'm sorry that I'm not in love with you anymore. It makes me sad that I don't feel like I used to. I wish I were still in love with you, because I know you're still in love with me, but I'm not feeling it and I can't stay anymore because it makes me feel sad when I'm with you. Maybe if I'm away from you for a while, I'll fall back in love with you, but deep down, I know I have to move on because we're not the same people we were when we were 17 and fell in love. I don't feel that way anymore and I need to see what else is out there for me, for my life. I'm sorry. I do love you and don't want to hurt you."
Author hopefulguy Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 lostfocus, do you still feel that there is a chance to get back with her and that you just have to start the process over again, or that you have lost her for good now? norajane, it hurts what you said but i believe that. hopefully being away for me for awhile will make her realize, but i know i cant think like that and i have to move on. i just hate to think im losing her for good.
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