LastSerenade Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 How do i forget about a girl who i love, who one minute tells me i am her future, then acts like i dont really mean much and am just a friend. She tells me we are perfect and she thinks thats we will get together eventually, just maybe not now. Yet we still kiss and have sex when it suits her. We have been seeing each other on and off for about a year. I am in love with her, no questions. I would marry her this instant. We went out offically for just a month and she ended it, shes been so easy just to say...forget it...and we have keep arguing, falling in and out all of the time. Its getting tiring... I cant tell you all just how many beautiful long emails/texts/hand written letters i have sent her, telling her of my love and admiration for her, all deep and personal to us both. We have that bond, when we are together we laugh so much its insane. We should be together, she knows it aswell...but she had a ****ty last relationship and she thinks that 'ultimately, all men will just lose interest'....she is so scared of commitment... Even though i have done all of these nice things to make her see, things straight out of the movies...it seems to make no difference...& in my frustration i have seen other girls....quite a few...i know she has been running back to her ex when we argue aswell...this takes nothing from my love for her, i did those in desperate attempts to try and forget her...it has never worked...effectivly shooting myself in the foot each time... It seems she dwells on the negative to justify not being with me.. she will dwell on these facts. Somewhat selfrighteous and hypocritically. Ok so facts are...she likes me, i like her...we should be together but she wont let it be because she is scared.... I cant keep doing this because its breaking my heart...and i have so much to give....Everytime i let her go i cant bare the thought of her with someone else...but yet i cant make her see... Each time i let her go...she wants to be my best mate..wants to call me all the time. If i say to her give me time..she gets annoyed at me..so i am left chasing back after her...its been going on too long.. Please, someone give me some advice here...i cant seem to get her...i cant seem to forget her... How do i keep the distance i probably need? Help....asap Thanks..
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 give her some time and space let her want u but dont give in make her chase u in a sense. if she really wants to be with u then she will....
Author LastSerenade Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 give her some time and space let her want u but dont give in make her chase u in a sense. if she really wants to be with u then she will.... Yeah ok, tried that, how do i do without her saying..'well if you dont want to talk to me then **** you.' then proceeding to go out everywhere i do and not leaving me alone...in the end we just get together. What do i do?
gavinus Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 What you do is have some self respect and go NC and move on with your life. You deserve to be with somebody who will love you unconditionally regardless. She is manipulating and using you and it makes her feel great to do it!!! How do I know, my ex did it to me, and it hurts every day that I did not stand up sooner and say NO MORE!! Be strong, love yourself and go on without her, (sigh) but if you were like me you won't.......and you will get hurt and used and abused and as soon as a better deal comes along for her......you will be forgotten, good luck, pain=change
Author LastSerenade Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Thanks man, i do get this overwhelming feeling that she is looking elsewhere...I asked her outright and shes no good at lieing to me...she said that if she wanted someone else she would have them.. This is no ordinary chick, she is stunningly good looking. What she said is true, i just dont get why she keeps me dangling on her string all the time. Its like she wants to keep me here for when she wakes up and realises that its worth it...all that happens is we fall out every few days over stuff related to us.. She said the innocence me and her is gone now i have been elsewhere etc..she says how she hasnt dated enough guys, hasnt properly lived yet. Yet tells me i am her soulmate and that we will be together... Its so hard to get away from it.. Last night i said something stupid that was meant to be funny and now she wont answer the phone... When none of these things are mentioned, or talked about....we are perfect and i know she can feel the closness between us... ITS SO CONFUSING! Sorry if i am rambling...you guys dont knwo the half of it..
Thomas X Forever Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Firstly. How old is she, and how old are you? Don't lie to this question, or you'll only screw yourself when I give advice. Also, what state is she from? (Yes, this actually can and does make a difference).
Ariadne Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 I am in love with her, no questions marry her this instant long emails/texts/hand written letters i have sent things straight out of the movies she wont let it be because she is scared.... i have so much to give cant bare the thought of her with someone else Please, someone give me some advice here Ok, here we have case 579 of gaga guy/girl who could care less. A girl who likes the attention and keeps him on a string. What to say to these guys? Just keep on doing what you are doing, maybe eventually she won't be so scared. She may need some more confirmation of your love. It's the only way, just keep on it and see what will happen eventually. It may take a while.
gavinus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 (Sigh) Listen to what you said:Its like she wants to keep me here for when she wakes up and realises that its worth it... Imagine you had somebody who would do anything for you and you knew it, she keeps you hanging around for.......power! She loves having you their my friend it feeds her ego and she knows how much to feed you to keep you hanging around. If she wanted to be with you she would, without a doubt, read this and figure out which girl you have: Some girls are just nasty and those girls do it on purpose as they like to manipulate and play with you. They get a kick out of it. Some girls are confused and sometimes miss you, think about you or have regrets and feel lonely. They have remaining feelings for you and have not made a cast iron decision to never be with you again. However you will never end up happy with the girl in this situation, it does not often go back to being a mutual and happy relationship. Once the love and attraction has faded it will always remain diminished. Even if you reconcille, she will go in the future as she did the first time and it will hurt like hell the second time. Some girls do not actually want you but like to know they have the option to get you back if they so choose and so do not want you to stray too far from their net. Some girls love attention and need it for a false sense of self worth. They have low self esteem and only validation from the other sex makes them feel good about themselves. They need attention and do not want to feel that someone they have flirted with, been with, desired etc does not value them. They thirst attention. Some girls need a wake up call, they need to lose something to realise its worth. They regret their decision to finish with someone as like the ticking clock on the mantelpiece, they did not notice it ticking until it stopped. You decide which you think she is, you will try and believe she is the last one, but that kind of girl does more than text with a question like that and then does nothing. She GIVES something rather than TAKING. Your girl here takes takes takes but does not even give you a crumb. In all cases except the rare rare rare last one, the only solution is to ignore them. The last case will do a lot more than she did. You gave this girl the validation she needed and what did she give you in return except continued pain, disappointment, false hope but sadness? Move on my friend
RedDevil66 Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 i just dont get why she keeps me dangling on her string all the time. .. She's not keeping you Dangling, you're keeping you dangling. You also said you've done everything to make her see, you've not done everything, you've not gone NC and make her wonder why you're not her plaything anymore. Watch how fast she comes running when you have a little backbone and not talk to her. She will be putty in your hands
D-Lish Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 i just dont get why she keeps me dangling on her string all the time. The string may be hers- but the choice to hang on to it for dear life is yours. My advice is to let go of it.
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