datura_noir Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I am curious as to how this would be helpful, to those of us who have entered or are in reconciliation with a CS? The infidelity board doesn't seem to address the needs of those who are or have worked through the issues of infidelity, and posting/reading there keeps the hurt too fresh for some. The only other forum I see deals with coping after a divorce/break-up, and seems to allude to the fact that the BS/CS has ended their marriage. Thoughts??
TrustInYourself Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I agree. Reconciled with my wife after she left me. Now I would like to discuss some issues that getting back together has brought up. I would love to discuss with others who worked through hard times.
Author datura_noir Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 I like the idea, maybe a sub-forum under the marriage board. The issues are so much different when reconciling after infidelity-but I would also understand how requesting this would lead others to request similar boards, e.g, Leaving for another, the OOM/OOW, etc... Like I said, maybe a sub-forum.
kakui215 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Yes, that is exactly the type of forum I've been looking for. Some posts on the marriage board address those of us in that situation, as do some in the Infidelity sub-forum, but you're right about many other posts just making the hurt return. I'm rather surprised, in fact, that there isn't already a forum for those of us trying to mend relationships that went to the brink.
Author datura_noir Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 I showed LS to my husband, who is not a fan of message boards BTW. He didn't feel comfortable in "infidelity" (no longer there) or OW/OM (too pathetic) or coping ( too many younger people). He wants to start posting, but not get bashed by any freshly wounded BS or OP.
eyeswide Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I agree with your take 100%, DN, about why the other forums don't work. I'd add that "second chances" is also too full of people who are not in committed relationships and therefore the dynamics of what they have to deal with are too different from what reconciling life-partners are dealing with. How to make this happen?
2sure Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I would love to see a Recovery Board. Sometimes in the midst of so many who advise Divorce, I hesitate to admit I have chosen to forgive. Also - recovery does have bumps. I'd like to be able to discuss the bumps and obstacles as they come up without having to go back to explaining that we have chosen to not divorce.
Art_Critic Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 You do realize that you can't stop people from posting in a particular forum.. So those same posters your husband is concerned about will just post in a recovery forum.. I myself post in all the forums but try and not post on threads that I don't have any familiarity with. Try and contact Tony.. he is the man in charge around here and the best bet on getting a forum change like a new forum.
boldjack Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I agree with 2sure, a "recovery", board would be very useful. In my opinion, true reconciliation hardly ever happens, but a marital remake is possible and any info could help.
2sure Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I suppose an open thread under marriage would fit the bill.
eyeswide Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I agree with 2sure, a "recovery", board would be very useful. In my opinion, true reconciliation hardly ever happens, but a marital remake is possible and any info could help. I should probably start a new thread, but what's the qualitative difference in your view?
confusedinkansas Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I agree with 2sure, a "recovery", board would be very useful. In my opinion, true reconciliation hardly ever happens, but a marital remake is possible and any info could help. I agree as well. There should be a board for this. If one gets started somewhere else...Someone needs to let us all know. Bold...I'm curious about your comment too...What makes you think this? Are there stats somewhere or something? Just curious.
Snowflower Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I am curious as to how this would be helpful, to those of us who have entered or are in reconciliation with a CS? The infidelity board doesn't seem to address the needs of those who are or have worked through the issues of infidelity, and posting/reading there keeps the hurt too fresh for some. The only other forum I see deals with coping after a divorce/break-up, and seems to allude to the fact that the BS/CS has ended their marriage. Thoughts?? I also think this is a good idea. Perhaps a board for those of us who have moved past the initial phases of dealing with the shock and have decided to recover their marriages. Perhaps it could be a sub-forum under M & LP. However, if there are too many forums/sub-forums, it seems to dilute the number of posters on each one.
boldjack Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 No, just my experience. Most marriages must begin again, from the vows forward, but all affection, trust, sex, and respect, must be earned. Not given at the altar.
Snowflower Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 No, just my experience. Most marriages must begin again, from the vows forward, but all affection, trust, sex, and respect, must be earned. Not given at the altar. Boldjack, how do you think this should be accomplished? I'm curious, I think I am understanding what you are getting at, I just want to know how you think a marriage should go forward after an affair, if both spouses want that?
Author datura_noir Posted July 22, 2009 Author Posted July 22, 2009 I think I will request a R sub-forum (though I don't want to spend all of my time there),and my H would like to throw in an occassional post and words of wisdom to reconciling WS/BS (he'd probably say to get offline and be with your spouse!).
eyeswide Posted July 22, 2009 Posted July 22, 2009 I think I will request a R sub-forum (though I don't want to spend all of my time there),and my H would like to throw in an occassional post and words of wisdom to reconciling WS/BS (he'd probably say to get offline and be with your spouse!). :lmao: Mine thinks that I'm causing myself more grief than necessary. But if I directed all of my confusion, questions, fears, etc. at him, I think he'd run screaming into the night!
Recommended Posts