aloneanddepressed Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Just curious as to your thoughts of this type of behavior. The guy I was previously dating, over a period of eight months, he made these remarks to me. Usually it was during arguments. He once told me that some of his ex's friends said "you can do better than him". He told me I could do better, do not settle, and he is no good. In our last argument he said he sucks. I wonder if he was just trying to make me feel sorry for him during arguments, or is he really that insecure? what does this behavior indicate? I feel guilty because I think i was too hard on him at times, but whats with all those comments??
pwnstigator Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 He wants you to say he doesn't suck. He's bashing himself because he wants you to lift him up, and he's too insecure to see how exhausting this is for you. Whether you want to continue this relationship in spite of his obvious insecurity and self-loathing is up to you. Do you see him as having any chance of getting better? In any case, he probably needs to see a professional about his problems. It sounds like he's very damaged by his relationship with the ex and her worthless, intrusive friends. You should let him know that, usually, when a girl's friends try to convince her that she "can do better than him" or otherwise try to damage the relationship, it's because of their own jealousy rather than their concern for her, so he shouldn't take it too seriously.
Author aloneanddepressed Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 Well, I did tell him that he doesn't suck. Well of course that was then, now I do think he does. We are not dating anymore, but I was thinking back to all those insecure comments he threw at me at times. Its interesting as to why he was saying those things. He wants you to say he doesn't suck. He's bashing himself because he wants you to lift him up, and he's too insecure to see how exhausting this is for you. Whether you want to continue this relationship in spite of his obvious insecurity and self-loathing is up to you. Do you see him as having any chance of getting better? In any case, he probably needs to see a professional about his problems. It sounds like he's very damaged by his relationship with the ex and her worthless, intrusive friends. You should let him know that, usually, when a girl's friends try to convince her that she "can do better than him" or otherwise try to damage the relationship, it's because of their own jealousy rather than their concern for her, so he shouldn't take it too seriously.
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