consume Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Hey all, sry for the long post, thanks for any feedback left. Cheers. So I'm having a really hard time keeping the ex out of my mind, and it's starting to take it's toll, I just work up from a dream with my ex... and it's crappy way to start the day. We were together for 3 years and broke up this winter, although we remained friends with the benefits package. We both agreed it would not get in the way of things... but it did, and even if she won't admit it, I know it affected her as much as it did me. Feelings start to develop again right. My ex though, is playing these crazy mind games... and maybe they aren't games but what she's doing is killing me. About 2 months ago we stopped the whole friends thing totally, from 60 to 0 overnight. Since then however, she'll send me a txt msg every 2wks or so asking how I'm doing, she'll call me once every 3 weeks to vent about her family/work problems, and then has to go. I should add that she always has to hang up once she reaches her destination... like I'm great to talk to whenever she just has a spare moment... In reverse, she does not reply to any txt's I send, nor will she answer my calls and return them. It's like she just contacts me whenever she has a free second and then she's cool until the next time she's bored. Because of this situation, about 80% of my dreams over the past month have been with her in them... and it SUCKS! Huge! I wake up having a small surge of feelings for her again, and then bam they are crushed. The dreams make me want to see her again, talk to her, and it's like the breakup could have started yesterday. Our relationship was far from perfect, I actually left her because I fell out of love with her. She had a problem with anger and I usually took the brunt of that, venting about her family issues or whatever to an extreme amount. Usually it was stuff like threatening breakups, saying the harshest and most hurtful things to get a reaction back... and there's only so much one can take before feelings start to deteriorate.) She also had a weed smoking problem (witch I didn't so it bothered me) and if she didn't have any, watch out! She use to hang out with Ex BF's (Alone) and get drunk. So, yes, things weren't ever great... but as usually love can be blind and we are only reminded of the good things sometimes. There definitely was the good... she baked all the time for me, had a thing for scary movies... just small stuff like that, we could always act like nut balls around each other. But, when that stuff pops into my head, I try and remind myself of why it didn't work out, though, it doesn't seem to have much effect on helping. So what are some good ways in dealing with it all? I try to go out as much as possible, go for walks, but still I'm reminded of her everywhere. Also doesn't help that I live in the same place we use to live in together... but for now I can't move. Thanks in advance for any advice.
andreww Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 ive had dreams about or with my ex in them since we broke up (3 months ago) and when im not dreaming of her i wake up and remember straight away that i cant have her anymore. i know just what its like.
Soul Bear Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Th dreams will change with time and NC. I used to dream of chasing her and she was pushing me away...the other night for some reason i had 3 dreams all about her, which is strange cos the last one was about 3 weeks before that. The dreams have changed somewhat and now i am pushing her away, laying next to her, and then pushing her away again.... very strange, but it does get better with time Just stick to NC if you can, it really does help
Author consume Posted July 19, 2009 Author Posted July 19, 2009 Keeping N/C is killer at times... I guess I'm gluten for punishment, I just always like knowing since she's not blocked, that the "communication door" is always open "incase", bad idea, I know For the most part, actually the last month or so, I've pretty much stuck to the N/C on my part. I know I'm still where I am because I accept her txt msg's and calls every 3 wks but... arg! It's so hard to block her out 100% and knowing that no communication can ever get through again. Even if it was just to remember old times, I've even comtemplated the thought of a dinner date with her by the water...
citizen67 Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Last night someone called me at 3:52 a.m. - the caller id said private name private number. I picked it up and said "hello?" Nothing. After about 30 seconds the caller hung up. For some reason my sleep muddled mind felt it was him. I went back to sleep and dreamt of him. My subconcious is a pain in the ass
Recommended Posts