bitteorca Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Does anyone else suffer from paranoia about what there ex's might be getting up to? I wish sometimes that she had found someone else to be happy with, instead of being single. 'Paranoia is a thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion' (wikipedia) I know that I am being irrational and delusional with my thoughts, she isn't like that, but I can't help thinking of horrible situations I kind of feel guilty about this as well, as me thinking that she is, is actually quite insulting to her. I suppose its also a lack of control. She isn't my girlfriend anymore and does what she wants, so this equates in my mind to the worst possible situations, even though this is most probably not the case. Its not like I have any information or evidence that I could base these thoughts on, they are purely irrational. Has anyone else felt like this?
northstar1 Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Does anyone else suffer from paranoia about what there ex's might be getting up to? I wish sometimes that she had found someone else to be happy with, instead of being single. 'Paranoia is a thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion' (wikipedia) I know that I am being irrational and delusional with my thoughts, she isn't like that, but I can't help thinking of horrible situations I kind of feel guilty about this as well, as me thinking that she is, is actually quite insulting to her. I suppose its also a lack of control. She isn't my girlfriend anymore and does what she wants, so this equates in my mind to the worst possible situations, even though this is most probably not the case. Its not like I have any information or evidence that I could base these thoughts on, they are purely irrational. Has anyone else felt like this? Absolutely. It's all part of the coping process after a breakup. I remember obsessing about what my ex was up to for the first few months. I'd scour any info about her I could to see if I could glimpse into her life and draw my own conclusions, often likely way off base. The mind is a powerful device, both to our advantage and detriment. My imagination got the better of me many times. All I can tell you is that it will get better, you will slowly start thinking of her less and less and other things will take over that part of your brain dedicated to thinking about what she's up to. I can stress that the fastest and best way is to remove any contact and info about what she is up to.
Sbrizio Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Not sure it can be called paranoia... but for sure we tend to project our own feeling onto the ex... Like i'm missing her, and i'm feeling emtpy and desperate without her, so a part of me "believe" that she feels the same. I then feel sorry for her, but, as a matter of fact, all this is just a result of my incapacity to accept that she doesn't feel like me. If she did, she wouldn't dump me. In reality she is probably a little bit sorry for me but ok, if not even already with someone else and laughing her *ss out. The point is, we can't know. We just need to focus on ourselves, trying to do healthy and funny things. Trying to stay with our friends. Thinking and analysing when the breakup is so fresh only helps to make everything more confused. Or at least so i feel, even though i can't seem to stop thinking and analysing
Author bitteorca Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 Sbrizio, I think it is paranoia! That's exactly what this thread is about, not about whether my ex is feeling the same way as I am. That's another subject. northstar, I am not scouring for info like you did. But having no info about her can also make your imagination run wilder. But obviously it is the best way to go. And thats the thing, my thoughts aren't based on any info that would even suggest this any way, its purely imagination. Did you feel a bit guilty? I feel guilty because she's not like that at all, and it kind of makes me look like I've thought of her as a common s**t for three and a half years, which I haven't. Its weird, I know its ridiculous but it still creeps into my mind. Like I have said, may be its the lack of control, and the fear that she could change into someone different to when she was with me. But I suppose that's what comes with a break-up.
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