Death1223 Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Well I dont really know a good topic for this but, I am a Male, My friend is Male, we are both Straight, and Im 13 and he is 15, turning 16 in 8 days, Okay so Me and him talk on the phones everyday, all day, and we play games together, but I am homeschooled, and Im very far from anyone my age or 18-, almost everyone I know is like 30+ and They are my moms friends, Okay so Here is the problem, I cant meet any friends, since I have no social hotspots, and I live off from anyone my age, and Im homeschooled so I cant meet anyone in my School, But My brother is 15, he met My best friend in a game, and I became friends with him, then we started talking on the phone almost everyday, then it was everyday, we have been friends for 3 1/2 years now, and I think we have a solid friendship relationship, Now I dont know why but for the past 3 days, we havent talked, nothing bad is happening in his life, he says he "just doesnt wanna" Talk to me over the phone, I have grown very attached to this Phone Talking, and I just dont know whats wrong.. Is he like growing apart from me? Im worried because he is the only friend I have, I cant meet any new friends so, I dont want this friendship to end, Please give me advice. We have never met in real life, he lives in New York, I live in Georgia, we have a long distance friendship.
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 He likely feels pressured and obligated at this point, and not to mention confused. Friendship can be a great lifesaver, but it shouldn't be the only lifeline. If it is, it can be frustrating for the person being held responsible for it. I doubt he has any other friends that do that to him, and he may just not know how to handle the feeling of being smothered. If he has cut you off, anything you do to try to reconnect right now will probably been seen as weird, and maybe even stalkerish. Back off, and let him contact you. If he doesn't then you will want to let him go. As for no social outlet, do your parents not arrange for some outside activity for you as part of your homeschooling? I would talk to them about something that can get you out of the house: music lessons, sports, gaming (tabletop stuff like Warhammer, etc), something - anything to get you out there. They really need to know how you are feeling about being isolated.
Ronni_W Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I agree with LB, about speaking with your mom and/or dad. You might suggest that, while you may be ahead intellectually, your social and emotional skills haven't been developed to the same level. Ask if they can help you with that, and to increase your feelings of self-confidence, esteem, etc. The other thing to consider is the age difference between you and your friend. It was fine for him until now but he is moving, or getting ready to move, into a very different "phase" of his life. The focus will be on things other than just what you're interested in (like girls, making out, etc.) It happens to all friendships where there is that kind of difference. For example, also if one "best friend" gets married first...the two best friends WILL grow somewhat apart just because they're in different phases of life. They might grow closer when the other gets married...and then drift apart again when one becomes a parent. There is that cyclical nature in ALL friendships; it's not that they "leave" each other but that they are aware enough of the other's changing needs and interests. I can appreciate that your parents are doing what they feel is best, but that the current situation does not really meet all your personal, age-appropriate needs and desires. Hopefully after you tell them in an honest and loving way of the not-so-good parts, they will look into the types of activities that LB suggested. Hugs, and very best of luck.
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