justdana Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I have just found that this works wonders. It may create a whole new set of issues later on, but for now, it's amazing. Rather than sit and obsess over all the good times and things I'll miss about my partner, I'm doing a bit of therapeutic writing about the all the times he hurt me terribly over the six years we were together. I'm making it a point to remember the times I dropped everything to be there for him and the times I overlooked [enter character flaw here] to try and make our relationship work, and the times he could not run fast enough in the other direction when I needed the same from him. In the space of a few hours, I feel a hundred times better than I did before. I mean, I'm not ready to throw any parties, or anything, but I could actually *attend* one and not end up being the pathetic girl in the corner crying in her peach wine cooler because everyone's so happyyyyy, and I'm so saaaaaaaad. Anyway, for those of you who are sitting there wondering how you're going to get past this pain, if you'd just take a moment from reliving your first date together to dwell on the truly crappy things your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife did to you, and how you really are worth so much more than the treatment you've received (and really, unless you're an axe murderer or something heinous like that, you ARE), it'll help. Maybe not forever, but it's a start. I think I'm going to sleep just fine tonight.
Exit Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Yes, writing a list of all their faults is a good idea, place it next to your phone for the times you feel like calling them. It will stop you. I wouldn't go so far as to say "get mad", you don't want to thrive on negative emotions, you'll never truly heal that way. It's not about getting mad per-se, but being realistic about their weaknesses AND their strengths, instead of giving in to this mental image that your partner was perfect.
redmelon Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Journaling is a great idea. Write letters to yourself, write letters to him (just don't send them) - chronicle the story of the relationship. It can only help to purge it all, and it may even make the patterns more visible to you. I think it's great! This is a fresh breakup, and you are permitted to "get mad" all you want. As long as you aren't acting out, I don't see the harm. It's a stage of grief and totally normal.
moo Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 for a quick and to the point reference, you can also just make a list of what he did. That way you don't have to go thru the whole story if you don't feel like it. for example: -he was inconsiderate -he lied to me again and again and so on. Also, don't forget the f**k you song: Your life is none of my business. My life is none of your business. Your life is none of my business. F**k you. F**k you. You can even dance while you sing it!
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 there is no such thing as bad emotions itz just how u feel but it is cathartic to do anything positive that will help u get over ur ex
Recommended Posts