Author New Again Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 I know right?! I couldn't believe he defended her on that I HATE that I'm being so jealous! It's the worst feeling.
LittleGuyBigIssues Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 I know right?! I couldn't believe he defended her on that I HATE that I'm being so jealous! It's the worst feeling. I know the feeling, im sometimes struggling with it aswell.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 I've had the green-eyed monster hit me twice. In both situations, it was warranted. Trust in your gut instincts. If they're warning you, don't ignore them!!
Author New Again Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 We're both on vacation for a couple weeks, so I'm betting that he'll forget to move/throw away the picture when he gets back. I'll find out next week how it all goes down and take it from there. I told my guy friend that I'm feeling jealous about this other girl, without giving the specifics, and asked what he thought (about why I might be jealous - he knows that's not my scene). He thinks it's because I'm unhappy about a couple of other things I have going on in my own life and I need to not project/take it out on my guy. Something to think about - mostly just throwing that out there for anyone who reads this because jealousy is in the title.
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 New Again, there's a way to push the envelope. Take the picture, hide it somewhere and see how he reacts. If he asks about it, just say "Oh, since you said you were going to throw it out, I threw it out for you, since it bothered me". If he throws a hissy fit, you know he never intended to throw it out in the first place, just hide it somewhere else...Sorry, but I think this is a monumentally bad idea. Rummaging around through his private stuff? Come on. Who wouldn't be pi$$ed at that? Do that, and you will be unwelcome in his place ever again. He'll never be able to trust that you won't go rooting through his things.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Sorry, but I think this is a monumentally bad idea. Rummaging around through his private stuff? Come on. Who wouldn't be pi$$ed at that? Do that, and you will be unwelcome in his place ever again. He'll never be able to trust that you won't go rooting through his things.While I understand what you're saying, this example is different, since he knows she knows it's there. He's told her he will throw out the picture. She asked for him to just move it. I strongly believe in gut instinct. If there's smoke, there's usually fire.
Author New Again Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Sorry, but I think this is a monumentally bad idea. Rummaging around through his private stuff? Come on. Who wouldn't be pi$$ed at that? Do that, and you will be unwelcome in his place ever again. He'll never be able to trust that you won't go rooting through his things. No, I would never do that!
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 While I understand what you're saying, this example is different, since he knows she knows it's there.No, it's not different. Rummaging through someone else's stuff without their permission is a huge invasion of privacy. I, personally, would not stand for it. I don't imagine you would either, regardless of the circumstances.
Author New Again Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 While I understand what you're saying, this example is different, since he knows she knows it's there. He's told her he will throw out the picture. She asked for him to just move it. I strongly believe in gut instinct. If there's smoke, there's usually fire. You may be right. I'm 90% sure that he won't think to throw it away when he gets back though, so, since I am half hoping for an opportunity to re-open the "are you over her" conversation without looking like a psycho, I'm going to wait and see if it's still there, face down, when we both get back. Then I can just be hurt (which I am) - (disappointed tone of voice) - "Oh...you just turned it face down? I thought you were going to throw it away. What's up with that?"
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 No, it's not different. Rummaging through someone else's stuff without their permission is a huge invasion of privacy. I, personally, would not stand for it. I don't imagine you would either, regardless of the circumstances.If I had been her b/f and promised I would throw it out, it would be gone that day. To be honest, I have nothing to hide. My fiance can go rummage in my drawers, check my smartphone or check my computer, anytime. For that matter, he has admin access to my computer. As long as he doesn't wear my lingerie on his head or any other body parts, I'm cool with that. You may be right. I'm 90% sure that he won't think to throw it away when he gets back though, so, since I am half hoping for an opportunity to re-open the "are you over her" conversation without looking like a psycho, I'm going to wait and see if it's still there, face down, when we both get back. Then I can just be hurt (which I am) - (disappointed tone of voice) - "Oh...you just turned it face down? I thought you were going to throw it away. What's up with that?"It's up to you how you choose to handle it. Just trust in yourself. Good luck!
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 If I had been her b/f and promised I would throw it out, it would be gone that day. But you're not. You're pretty big on setting and maintaining boundaries but I would hope you would allow others to have their own as well. Like you, I have nothing to hide. But I still would take extreme offence at someone rummaging through my stuff without my permission. Anyway, 'nuff of that. (TBF, you can have the last word if you want.) Good luck, New Again.
Star Gazer Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 I still would take extreme offence at someone rummaging through my stuff without my permission. Admittedly, I would too (and I've got nothing to hide either).
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 But you're not. You're pretty big on setting and maintaining boundaries but I would hope you would allow others to have their own as well. Like you, I have nothing to hide. But I still would take extreme offence at someone rummaging through my stuff without my permission. Anyway, 'nuff of that. (TBF, you can have the last word if you want.) Good luck, New Again.Ummm...Thaddeus. He already knew she saw the pic by the condoms. He said he'd throw it out. This is very different than having her rummage through his stuff and tossing things out without his permission. So yes, I'm taking the last word.
Author New Again Posted July 30, 2009 Author Posted July 30, 2009 I'm going to find out tonight if he got rid of the picture. I'm kinda freaking out about this, and I'm a nervous wreck over it. I don't know why. I think the outcome of this might be the end of our relationship...I definitely have a couple of other "issues" I've been thinking a lot about, and I think they've manifested themselves into this one situation. So depending on how this turns out it might be the straw that broke the camel's back.
Author New Again Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 I got back from my vacation yesterday; he got back from his this afternoon. We haven't had any contact whatsoever over the last two weeks - no email, no phone calls or texts. He emailed me from one of the airports this morning about how excited he was to see me tonight, and he'd call me about hanging out when he got in this afternoon. Well he didn't call me, he texted. Gave me a time to come over. Said he'd call me in a bit. And then he didn't call me, but he texted me again a couple hours later, moving the time back. I texted back to CALL ME when he thought he'd be around and available. So what did he do? He TEXTED me "just come over at X time." Just to be difficult (starting to feel really b*tchy) I texted back like I didn't understand his message (implying wow this would be so much easier and more clear if you JUST CALLED ME like you MISSED me and haven't seen or heard from me in TWO WEEKS). So he texted again pushing the time back to a point where I'm like - huh. That's kinda late to JUST be coming over. I'm not his f'n booty call So, I texted back that that's too late and I'm not coming over. I understand that he had a couple things to do first - but NO PHONE CALL?! And um, how about SOME kind of excuse for why the time keeps getting shoved back. That would be much more polite. I definitely FEEL b*tchy - so: am I being unreasonable? I'm so mad at this point I don't even know.
Author New Again Posted July 31, 2009 Author Posted July 31, 2009 So bf gave me a key to his house and bought me a parking permit so I can park at his house during the week without worrying about getting a ticket for violating the 2 hr except residents rule. Not sure how I feel about this. I should be happy, but that's definitely not what I'm feeling. What the heck is wrong with me
Recommended Posts