delirious Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I have used a version of voice technology when talking to MM. Can anyone (BS) say they have experience of that. Or can OW>OM tell me if they have used this. My only other option is to get a friend to call him for me.
Lizzie60 Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I have used a version of voice technology when talking to MM. Can anyone (BS) say they have experience of that. Or can OW>OM tell me if they have used this. My only other option is to get a friend to call him for me. I'm not sure what you mean ... You need to disguise your voice when you call him???
fooled once Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Lizzie - I found this thread from last month http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=188184 Delirious - have you even spoke to him since you posted this older post?
Lizzie60 Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Oh OK.. Thanks Fooled... Delirious.. please stop it!!! Be independant.. do NOT contact him ever again.. if he does.. tell him you're busy.. whatever.. you need to make him understand that you're not a puppet.. and he can NOT 'use' you under HIS convenience ALL the time.. I feel soooo sad for you.. I know it's not easy.. but you GOT to do it.. Methink you're still very young.. how old are you? (if you don't mind me asking)..
Lucky_One Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 #1 I thought you broke up with him. #2 If you have to resort to Inch High Private Eye methods to be able to contact the man that you call the "love of your life", then you need to realize that he isn't into contact with you. #3 It infuriates me when people in affairs say "I told my spouse he/she could leave, but he/she won't, so I am still stuck in my marriage." WHY is it your husband's responsiblity to move out and file for divorce? YOU are the one who wants the divorce, not him. Take responsibility for your own life and your own happiness. If you can wear a pair of big girl panties and cheat on your H, then pull them up from around your ankles where MM left them and get a divorce if you are this miserable in your marriage.
Author delirious Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 Okay we are back on for now but the problems have been due to him being under suspicion. I don't want the sh to hit the fan. I have been named by his W and need to call him at some point. We arranged a meeting but I do not know the time. there are a few people who can recognise my voice, including everyone who answers the phone (four on his end). He cannot call me for the same reason. Mobiles are under discussion. But for now, what the hell??? So back to my question, is voice techno the answer? One site worked once, but won't work again.
MistyK Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 No offense, but the answer is for him to leave his wife so you don't have to go through this kind of ridiculous hysterics just to talk to him. I did some wild and stupid things to "protect" my MM and to remain in contact with him, but one does wonder if it would have motivated him all the more if I hadn't bothered and let him miss me a little. My advice: Let him get motivated. If he can't find a way to contact you as often as he likes, he'll have to change something, won't he?
Lucky_One Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 If you don't show up, then he'll figure out a way to get in touch with you. Why are YOU bending yourself into a pretzel and resorting to stupid ways to be in contact, when he never seems to make that effort in return? Honestly, a grown-man who has a business and clients needs to have a cell phone - it's 2009.
fooled once Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Okay we are back on for now but the problems have been due to him being under suspicion. I don't want the sh to hit the fan. I have been named by his W and need to call him at some point. We arranged a meeting but I do not know the time. there are a few people who can recognise my voice, including everyone who answers the phone (four on his end). He cannot call me for the same reason. Mobiles are under discussion. But for now, what the hell??? So back to my question, is voice techno the answer? One site worked once, but won't work again. So you plan to stay in an affair with someone who can rarely talk to you and who is not leaving his wife? Why?
Mino Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 Dont you think its time to get out of the A? I never heard of such a thing, You cant get a hold of your mm. How many times a week do you see him? Is it just for sex or do you do other things together? I couldnt imagine a few hour a week, not even being able to talk.
Mino Posted July 19, 2009 Posted July 19, 2009 So you plan to stay in an affair with someone who can rarely talk to you and who is not leaving his wife? Why? I guess so, she sounds like she is ok with little contact..I think its just a fb situation...
me003 Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 Ive heard of prepaid phones or secret email accounts. Why can't you communicate that way? Also, once you leave his will look so clear. This sounds messy and not like the best place to be at for anyone. Look out and love yourself. Take care and good luck
Author delirious Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Ive heard of prepaid phones or secret email accounts. Why can't you communicate that way? Also, once you leave his will look so clear. This sounds messy and not like the best place to be at for anyone. Look out and love yourself. Take care and good luck Really my MM is not into techo, computers or mobiles. I know you find that hard to believe but there are still some. In the meantime, I am due to meet him but cannot recall the time. His W knows me and my voice, his family know me too. What the F am I to do?? I want to see him so badly, i do not want to not show up. I wish I could do that. But I am useless at games. I love him. I could wait and I am sure he would contact me. I don't want to wait. I am stuck in a marriage and do not love my H, I told him, what the F can I do now? I cannot leave I have young children. Life is sh..
Lucky_One Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 You can't leave because you have young children? Why not? Are they chained to their beds by your H? You CAN leave. If your marriage is unhappy and you don't love your H, then you are doing your H no favors by staying with him. Tell him that you want a divorce, find alternate living arrangements that work for the 2 of you, go out and get a job and daycare, and make your own happiness. But sitting around and feeling helpless because you have children puts an awful amount of pressure and blame on them. YOU are not leaving because YOU truly don't want to it to happen badly enough.
MistyK Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 I am stuck in a marriage and do not love my H, I told him, what the F can I do now? I cannot leave I have young children. Life is sh.. That was me, two years ago. I left, we divorced, and my two young kids lived through it just fine. (Now 5 and 3 years old). That's not an excuse. You will be fine and so will your kids.
Mino Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 You can't leave because you have young children? Why not? Are they chained to their beds by your H? You CAN leave. If your marriage is unhappy and you don't love your H, then you are doing your H no favors by staying with him. Tell him that you want a divorce, find alternate living arrangements that work for the 2 of you, go out and get a job and daycare, and make your own happiness. But sitting around and feeling helpless because you have children puts an awful amount of pressure and blame on them. YOU are not leaving because YOU truly don't want to it to happen badly enough.But Lucky one, that makes to much sense. It much easier too sit on ones AZZ, mooching off of a H, and having an A on the side. Imagine if she had to support herself and her children.
Mino Posted July 20, 2009 Posted July 20, 2009 by the way, I am a single working parent, with no child support ever, and put my child through college, no goverment help here. ALL work, and well worth it. And I am an not even from this country. So If I can do it so can you. You deseve happiness with your children, and SO DOES YOUR HUSBAND. Tell him you want a divorce, since you dont love him anymore, and give the guy some respect, let him go. Geee, using him for money is just wicked....
fooled once Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Yep - many people (including myself) have left marriages with young children. You CAN do it; you just choose not to. Are you not leaving because the MM you are seeing won't leave his wife? I feel sorry for your children; I am sure there is tension in the home, mom is always worried about meeting up with her married lover, or trying to find someone to call him for her so she can meet up with him..... Very sad situation. Do you work? Or do you have your husband support you?
Full Of Hope Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 I have used a version of voice technology when talking to MM. Can anyone (BS) say they have experience of that. Or can OW>OM tell me if they have used this. My only other option is to get a friend to call him for me. No, I haven't...but that would be super cool. I was always able to get ahold of mine if I needed him. I could text him in code (work related stuff) and he would know I needed him immediately. BTW, I have very small children and have been divorced awhile now. The younger the better I say. My kids don't even remember their father living in the same house as us, and they're just fine. Better than fine actually...very happy and well adjusted.
Author delirious Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 In answer to the spiteful comment about me living off my husband's money, as a matter of fact I have not worked since having the children in order to give them a better life as we BOTH agreed to this. Not easy as I had a very good career, not working is not an easy option in fact lots of women go back to work simply because they cannot stand the loss of status. They are totally emotionally secure and have not suffered as a result of this A. I earned more money before I had them and therefore have given a strong financial basis for my marriage as a result of MY earnings and savings and not my H prior to kids. I would find it very difficult to get a job now, certainly not earn anything like before. So do I uproot them from their home that they love and go and live somewhere else? Surely you are not suggesting that I abandon them. My H will not leave the house. I told him I want a D. He will not give me one. The children do not want to live with him. All this and nothing to do with my A, I felt like this long before that. Why am i explaining this??? (f knows)
GreenEyedLady Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Did I miss why you need to disguise your voice? (If so I apologize, I just don't get why you would need to.)
Owl Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Do you live in the United States? There's often a lot that can be done. If you file for divorce, you might be able to have your H removed from the house. He can't stop you from filing, btw. So what if he doesn't "want to give you one". That's irrelevent...it's not "giving"...it's you filing and DOING. You absolutely have choices here...just no perfect ones here. You're in a bad situation...no arguments there. But I'd also add that it's not all of your H's doing, either. So at the end of the day, what are you going to do to fix the situation? You can either sit there and complain about it, or you can try to do something about it. It IS up to you. You ALWAYS have options, and you appear to have them in your case. Granted, none of them are perfect, and all of them are likely to require some changes to be made...what YOU have to do is to pick what seems to be your best option out of a lot of mediocre and bad ones, and work it from there. As far as using electronic means to continue the affair, I'd tell you that you can try, but once a BS suspects something, she's very, very likely to become "hypervigilant", and there is absolutely no garauntee you won't be caught again. For every option that you come up with, I can promise that there are ways that you/he can get caught...especially since she already is on to the two of you. Your best bet to continue the affair would be for him to 'fess up to his wife, point blank tell her that he's doing this with you, and that he refuses to stop. She can't physically prevent him from continuing...all she can do is file for divorce, and remove him from her life.
Author delirious Posted July 21, 2009 Author Posted July 21, 2009 Thanks Owl, for responding to my original question. I guess she would be more vigilant now. And his face would give it away, so it is a no hoper. If I don't turn up, I am sure he will get in touch somehow. It is really interesting to read a BSs point of view too.
Owl Posted July 21, 2009 Posted July 21, 2009 Have you considered that both of you might be better off if he DOESN'T contact you? How do you think he might do so without running the same risks you'd be taking going from the other side?
Recommended Posts