Finissima Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I need advice and help about what to do this weekend... Brief rundown: I've been dating my bf 6 months, 2 of which are long distance. We just graduated college and he's still in our college town, while Im at home with my parents. In the fall, I'll be starting law school in my home state, while he'll be going very far away to start a one year internship. However, we had plans that he would do his grad school in my state when he is finished the internship. We talk every day on the phone, see each other every 2 weeks. Our visits have been great, but our phone conversations leave a lot to be desired...our conversations in person feel natural, but on the phone, it is forced, etc. Now all of a sudden...he, OUT OF THE BLUE has decided he does not want to continue the relationship. He doesn't think we will make it trough the next year, can no longer see our future (2 weeks ago we were talking about marriage and kids in the years to come), and has "checked out"of the relationship. We have decided I will go see him this weekend (tonight!) but he is telling me there is only a small chance he will change his mind about wanting to break up. He is seeing this as one last goodbye (as he still loves me) and I am seeing this as a renewal of our relationship...a chance to fix things. What do I do? What do I say to him to show him we have something worth fixing, worth fighting for? Help me...
hoping2heal Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I need advice and help about what to do this weekend... Brief rundown: I've been dating my bf 6 months, 2 of which are long distance. We just graduated college and he's still in our college town, while Im at home with my parents. In the fall, I'll be starting law school in my home state, while he'll be going very far away to start a one year internship. However, we had plans that he would do his grad school in my state when he is finished the internship. We talk every day on the phone, see each other every 2 weeks. Our visits have been great, but our phone conversations leave a lot to be desired...our conversations in person feel natural, but on the phone, it is forced, etc. Now all of a sudden...he, OUT OF THE BLUE has decided he does not want to continue the relationship. He doesn't think we will make it trough the next year, can no longer see our future (2 weeks ago we were talking about marriage and kids in the years to come), and has "checked out"of the relationship. We have decided I will go see him this weekend (tonight!) but he is telling me there is only a small chance he will change his mind about wanting to break up. He is seeing this as one last goodbye (as he still loves me) and I am seeing this as a renewal of our relationship...a chance to fix things. What do I do? What do I say to him to show him we have something worth fixing, worth fighting for? Help me... Please do not allow someone to toy with you for their own convinience. That is what you're doing, regardless of him talking about marriage, he is not comitted to your relationship. If he were, he would not of ended it because of distance. I've said this in a post before, there are MUCH worse things couples can go through than long distance. Death, Kidnapping, Infertility, Career Ending, etc. You need comittment to make it through these things, not feelings but comittment. He's asking you to come down one last time so he can have sex with you, not so he can change his mind. He is simply not comitted and going to use you, don't allow yourself to wear your heart on your sleeve for someone that drives a steamroller.
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