katiemamushka Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I'd like to hear how long is an appropriate time before the girlfriend should be included in BF's family events when he has kids? For example: BF's son's birthday is coming up- All of the child's 8 grandparents will be invited to a birthday party, held at the home of the ex-wife. Of course a few other family friends as well. Everyone, apparently, except for me. It feels a bit family reunion-ish, and I don't want to stir up trouble for my boyfriend, I'm pleased he and his ex try to work together for the enjoyment of their children. Still, I have a great relationship with his kids and feel mad that I'm being left out. I've never dated anyone with children before, and wonder if maybe my expectations are off. I wish there was a good solution that works for the good of the kids and doesn't leave me out in the cold. Any advice?
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 All of the child's 8 grandparents will be invited to a birthday party, held at the home of the ex-wife. It's at the ex's house. Your presence, however well-intentioned, may be uncomfortable for everyone there. Let it go. There will be lots of opportunities to be involved in family occasions that aren't at his ex's place.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I can imagine it would take a long time to get the point at which inviting you to a party at the ex's place would be appropriate or comfortable. I'm thinking the stage would be no sooner than marriage or level of commitment nearly equivalent to marriage.
AlektraClementine Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 In my case, I waited 6 months into the relationship to introduce the BF to my children. He was introduced to the ex at the same time. From that point on, he and I were serious enough that I felt like he should be included in family events. What is the status of your relationship? Are the two of you planning a future together? That plays a big role in it. My guy have now been in a relationship for a year and a half. We recently just got back from a trip to Disney World. Me, him, the ex, his wife, and the children. If your guy intends to make you a part of his family, there's no reason he shouldn't start including you in family events. The ex and her family will just have to deal with it. Good luck!
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