bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I am transferring my old mobile number to my new contract. My old one will be in use again on tuesday, but for the time being I have a new number. I sent everyone a text about this, and debated with myself whether I should of told my ex. But I did in the end. I did it incase she wanted to contact me in an emergency or something, and tbh incase she sent me an important text or something and she never got a reply, and she wouldn't know. Did I break NC? all it read was 'I have a new number up until tuesday, incase you want to contact me in an emergency or sumthin, i dunno lol 07******** x' What do you think? There was no 'i miss you' or even 'how are you' or eveennn 'hi' !
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Well, technically, you did break NC. But frankly I don't see anything wrong with what you did. Relax. Chill. Here, have a cigar.
boogieboy Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I am transferring my old mobile number to my new contract. My old one will be in use again on tuesday, but for the time being I have a new number. I sent everyone a text about this, and debated with myself whether I should of told my ex. But I did in the end. I did it incase she wanted to contact me in an emergency or something, and tbh incase she sent me an important text or something and she never got a reply, and she wouldn't know. Did I break NC? all it read was 'I have a new number up until tuesday, incase you want to contact me in an emergency or sumthin, i dunno lol 07******** x' What do you think? There was no 'i miss you' or even 'how are you' or eveennn 'hi' ! Doesnt matter, you sent the text to see if you would get a friendly reply, and they didnt care. You got your answer.
EmperorR Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Doesnt matter, you sent the text to see if you would get a friendly reply, and they didnt care. You got your answer. yep basically ill send a forward email to ten people and include my ex just incase i was on her mind.
Author bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 I sent the text for the emergency reason more than anything, I wasn't honestly expecting a reply. Like I said, I didn't write anything like 'how are you' or 'i miss you' or anything like that. There were no questions in it, what was she supposed to say to that text? Plus, I've told her I don't want her to contact me as a friend, just if she ever changes her mind. IDK, I just thought it was the sensible thing to do I suppose, incase she got stuck out or sumthing, and she really needed a lift, i dont know, things like that. Boogieboy, yeah she didn't send me a friendly reply, because that is what I have requested! I wouldn't go so far as to say she doesn't care, this isn't the case
PinkToes Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I think it's fine, it doesn't really matter why you did it as long as the response or non-response doesn't upset you. NC is a way to heal and protect ourselves, it really doesn't matter what she might think. I got a change-of-address e-mail from my ex a couple of months ago (he dumped me late last year) which really surprised me. But I just assumed he sent to everyone, and I didn't respond.
northstar1 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I am transferring my old mobile number to my new contract. My old one will be in use again on tuesday, but for the time being I have a new number. I sent everyone a text about this, and debated with myself whether I should of told my ex. But I did in the end. I did it incase she wanted to contact me in an emergency or something, and tbh incase she sent me an important text or something and she never got a reply, and she wouldn't know. Did I break NC? all it read was 'I have a new number up until tuesday, incase you want to contact me in an emergency or sumthin, i dunno lol 07******** x' What do you think? There was no 'i miss you' or even 'how are you' or eveennn 'hi' ! Ofcourse you did. You used it as an excuse to include her in hopes she'd reply. I get it, since I may have done the same at one point.
Author bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 yeah, I think people misunderstood because I wrote What do you think? There was no 'i miss you' or even 'how are you' or eveennn 'hi' ! I didn't mean this as in 'she didn't even text back with....', I meant I didn't say any of those things myself. I did it for the emergency thing mostly, but also because in the off chance she did try to contact me, she wouldn't think I'd blocked her number, or was ignoring her or sumthing like that. I really didn't expect a reply, I'm being honest when I say that! A.) its too soon, B.) I've said I don't want to be just friends with her, not for the time being anyway, so no texts or calls pretending we are just friends, and C.) I wasn't all that friendly in it, I didn't ask any questions, get emotional, or even say hi.
Author bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 this is where LS can possibly bring people down! the original post was asking whether I'd technically broke NC, which I realise I have now. But I wasn't honestly expecting a reply, like honestly. But now I get a load of responses about how she hasn't replyed and how she must not care, and its made me feel worse. I was fine when I sent it, because, like I've said, it was a nothing text, and didn't warrant a reply. too soon, we're not friends, no questions in it, or anything
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 this is where LS can possibly bring people down! It's just people projecting their own experiences onto yours. It may or may not resonate with you. If it doesn't, so be it.
Author bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 yeah I understand It just made me feel like s**t for a moment, but I shouldn't be so sensitive! haha
northstar1 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 yeah I understand It just made me feel like s**t for a moment, but I shouldn't be so sensitive! haha Nah man, we are not trying to drag you down. As long as the contact has not left you feeling crap, then it's okay. What you will see on this site is a lot of people who are in the early stages of 'coping' will rationalize contact with an ex for a myriad of reasons; "Ie. my ex who dumped me, well their distant aunt died, so i should send them a card", and often time that effort reopens the wounds.
Author bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Yeah I know what you mean northstar. There probably was a bit of that, but like I have said, I didn't expect a reply, it was just a text, and contained nothing apart from what I originally told you. I didn't text her saying 'this is my new number till tuesday 07****. How are you keeping anyway? I miss you x'. Does that make sense? Maybe I shouldn't have, idk, but it certainly didn't make me feel rubbish when I sent it, just responses on here! But at the same time I can totally understand where you are all coming from. My situation is a bit complicated anyway, I dumped her originally, and then she said she didn't want me back after a month, although she did when I first dumped her. urrggh it gets complicated, but thats why NC is not as black and white for me as it is with other people. If she had dumped me out the blue or sumthin, or did something unscrupulous, I wouldn't have even considered sending the text
BCCA Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Bitteorca, Yes, you did break NC. Techinically, even looking at someones facebook or myspace page is breaking NC. It litterally means NO contact of any kind, and a text with your new number implies you want her to have a way to reach you. Let me tell what I learned the hard way: you cant be there for her in an emergency. She shouldnt even CONSIDER calling you for any reason whatsoever. If shes stuck and needs a ride, thats really not your problem. Be honest with me - you send it because you want to make sure if she does change her mind, she knows how to reach you, huh?
Author bitteorca Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 there was certainly an element of that, I have to admit (and which I have admitted!). I've begin to think that by sending that text she has read it and probably thought, 'I knew he wouldn't be able to resist/be strong'. Even if it wasn't a 'i miss you' text, it was still a text nonetheless. I still believe I had the right intentions, it wasn't a weak text like I said, but perhaps I shouldn't have sent it anyway. I still can honestly say I wasn't expecting a reply for the reasons I've given already. I would text her my new number, but perhaps shouldn't of text her a number that was going to be in use only till tuesday, so yeah your probably right...scared of her ringing me and her presuming I've blocked her and I would of missed my chance etc. I was thinking of posting on here for opinions before I did it, I should of done that!
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