Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 ok, we havnt spoken in just over a week and half now and its her birthday this sunday, we left our last converstation that we both need some space to sorts our heads out but we'll speak soon, she has a different number now to what i dont know but i could text her friend on her birthday to wish her a happy birthday, im not sure what to do, i want to wish her one more than anything but im worried she would be annoyed because atm it hurts her to talk to me because shes not over this like i am but then again if i ignore the fact its her birthday she may think i dont give a **** and im not petty enough to ignore it because she broke up with me before anyone says about NC n what not. do i send one or not? im thinking yes but havnt thought what to put yet , we were ment to be spending her birthday together :-( its as hard for me not to speak as it might be for her to not to recieve
boogieboy Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 She broke up with you, she doesnt deserve a "happy birthday". Especisally since she changed her number? And you have to wish her happy birthday by proxy? That is number one reason for me to not WANT to contact someone who broke up with me. Dont help her relieve her guilt by sending that, she will think youre ok with her breaking it off. Not only that you are weak to contact her by going out of your way to get her friend to do it. Leave her alone! NC is just that No Contact no matter what. She probably will not care that you didnt acknowledge your birthday. Let her come to you.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I have a feeling she changed her number because of you, and I can observe why. You need to back off, before she actually files a restraining order.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 what for saying happy birthday? i somewhat doubt they will give me one for that. and she is a sensitive girl who does care how i feel, we split up a long time ago but only recently stopped contact for us to both move on. so pride doesnt really come into it, she was with me on my birthday only a few weeks ago so i feel the decent thing to do is say it to her, that and i do really want to as i love her and care for her with all my heart
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 You don't understand. You are loosing sight of the woods, because of a tree. It's not about you saying happy birthday. It's about you saying SOMETHING, whatever the guise be. Why did she change her number? It had something to do with you, didn't it? Do you really think she's expecting you to contact her? After she changed her number, do you really think she wants to hear from you? Her birthday is just an excuse for you. She won't file a restraining order because you're wishing her happy birthday. She'll file it because you won't disappear.
boogieboy Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 The answer is NO dammit. Theres a reason for NC. If she contacts you asking why, you can wish her Happy birthday then, or ignore her. Youre never going to get back together, so dont try to keep hope alive and fool yourself by breaking NC.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 her mum made her change her number, because what i rang about 4 times and we had a few text converstaionts the week after it happened, im not crazy, her mum just over reacts to everything. like youve said in previous posts about fighting for the girl you love you would do anything, its hardly like im driving to london to say happy birthday in her face, that would **** her off, and i know she prob expects something like that because i was very romantic n did stuff along them lines when we were together, it would just be a happy bday to show i cared, i know shes been so upset about this because after speaking to her mum when she had calmed down early this week she said her daughter still cared about me a great deal and is worried about how i am and getting ill from it :-( i see what you mean about it being an excuse but its not, i have managed to not contact since we last spoke almost 2 weeks ago its just her bday and i do have a heart.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 So her mother is a volatile and irrational person? This changes everything, for the worse. Like it or not, when a child and mother have an ongoing bond that still exists at her age, then the apple doesn't fall from the tree any longer. She is like her mom, whether you see it yet or not. Why the hell would her mom change her daughters number because of you, and then talk to you about how her daughter misses you? Something isn't adding up here. Either you're nuts, or your EX is nuts, and therefor you're nuts for wanting her. So either way, you're nuts. How do you like those odds? Tell yourself: **** your heart, if you have a brain, then don't contact her.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 i can see youve really been hurt before in the past if thats what you have to say. and at the end of the day yeah im nuts, yeah maybe she is too, but im afraid telling your heart something doesnt always cut it, you know you cant just switch of your feelings, as do i. some people deal with things in different ways, i was reading a thread earlier when the man stalked her for 5 hours, i mean thats nuts. wanting to send a bday message to the girl you love. thats priceless.
e.clipse Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 wanting to send a bday message to the girl you love. thats priceless. if she changed her phone number and did not give you her new one, don't you think that is a clear sign that she does not want to hear from you? i hate these "should i say happy birthday?!" threads because the honest truth behind all of them is that you miss them, want to talk to them, and hope that by "being nice" by remembering their birthday or whatever event, they will think, "Aw, s/he really does care...let me call her/him, so we can try to work things out." just call it what it is, man. you're hoping to hear a positive responce from her, hence the desire to "wish her a happy birthday." i can tell you, though, whether you do or don't, it won't make zero of a difference in you two getting back together, if ever.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 thats true, i know it wont, i just know she will be thinking of me then, and i didnt wanna let her think for the rest of the summer, well he didnt care. or if he did he didnt even try.
boogieboy Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Either you're nuts, or your EX is nuts, and therefor you're nuts for wanting her. So either way, you're nuts. LMAO!!!! :lmao::lmao: Thomas, I'm going to laugh about this one ALL day, AND I have to find someone to use this on. This is F**kin hilarious, and true. thats true, i know it wont, i just know she will be thinking of me then, and i didnt wanna let her think for the rest of the summer, well he didnt care. or if he did he didnt even try. Dont worry about it, dont contact her. if she misses you enough, she will make sure to get in contact with you to find out if you dont care. Let her miss you.
BCCA Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 thats true, i know it wont, i just know she will be thinking of me then, and i didnt wanna let her think for the rest of the summer, well he didnt care. or if he did he didnt even try. 1. You dont know what she'll be thinking about. It probably wont be what you think it is. 2. Her thinking you didnt care isnt going to happen. Obviously you care, unless youre an evil, vile person. 3. Her thinking youre a sackless bozo that wont leave her alone WILL happen if you bother her again. (not trying to insult you, just letting you know how it will be percieved) 4. If she wanted to hear from you, she would make it easy to get in contact with her. She obviously doesnt, sorry man. 5. Her mom didnt make her do anything she absolutely didnt want to. 6. Let it go. Do not send anything and let this whole thing go. Youre only rationalizing sending a card to try and establish contact, are you sending b-day cards to the girl you dated before her? Probably not, there is a reason for that. Ex's are ex's for a reason. i can tell you, though, whether you do or don't, it won't make zero of a difference in you two getting back together, if ever ^THIS^
Recommended Posts