singleguy1 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 My girlfriend of 2.5 years moved out about three weeks ago. She said that she saw no future for us. I went no contact and have not tried to contact her at all. There has been zero contact on my side. I have no intentions of getting back together since this is the third time we have broken up all three initiated by her. The day she moved out she sent a text that said "I am sorry and I do love you" then last week I get an email that she added me as a friend on facebook I ignored the request. Today she pocket called me. She has never done this to me before. Why would someone do this?
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 My girlfriend of 2.5 years moved out about three weeks ago. She said that she saw no future for us. I went no contact and have not tried to contact her at all. There has been zero contact on my side. I have no intentions of getting back together since this is the third time we have broken up all three initiated by her. The day she moved out she sent a text that said "I am sorry and I do love you" then last week I get an email that she added me as a friend on facebook I ignored the request. Today she pocket called me. She has never done this to me before. Why would someone do this? 1) Since she doesn't want to think of herself as being the "bad guy" for breaking it off, she wants reassurance that you don't think she's a bad guy. 2) She wants to make sure that you're still on the backburner in case her next relationship craters. 3) She wants to use you as an emotional tampon ("let's be friends") while she boinks other guys. 4) Some combination of the above. None are reasons for you to break NC. Stay strong.
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 1) Since she doesn't want to think of herself as being the "bad guy" for breaking it off, she wants reassurance that you don't think she's a bad guy. 2) She wants to make sure that you're still on the backburner in case her next relationship craters. 3) She wants to use you as an emotional tampon ("let's be friends") while she boinks other guys. 4) Some combination of the above. None are reasons for you to break NC. Stay strong. +1. Quoted for truth.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Damn, gorilla, you definitely are jaded. She could contact you because she regrets her decision. How can we truly get into her mind, with so little detail? You want to contact her, contact her. Sure, it'll open up wounds, but hell, you made this topic for a reason. Unless you are SIMPLY COMPLAINING about her, and have no desire AT ALL to be with her, in which case, just ignore it.
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Damn, gorilla, you definitely are jaded. She could contact you because she regrets her decision. How can we truly get into her mind, with so little detail? You want to contact her, contact her. Sure, it'll open up wounds, but hell, you made this topic for a reason. Unless you are SIMPLY COMPLAINING about her, and have no desire AT ALL to be with her, in which case, just ignore it. Sure, he can contact her. But only at his peril. If she wants to get back together, then she needs to clearly state that. If I was the OP, I wouldn't break NC for anything less. Have you been in a similar situation, Thomas, and break NC? How'd it work out for you?
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 She could contact you because she regrets her decision.So what? Maybe she does regret the decision. But it's clear that OP has had enough of her on-again/off-again erratic behavior. See:I have no intentions of getting back together since this is the third time we have broken up all three initiated by her.Emphasis added to bold the operative part. The OP is better off without this drama queen in his life.
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Excellent point. Even if she did come straight out and say that she wants to get back together, how could the OP possibly believe her?
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Yes I broke NC with my first gf. It did nothing. Except give closure, and make me not break NC again, because I was confident then that I really tried. I don't think it'll work with these two, I don't think it'll work with anyone who is on this board, with their ex's. I'm telling him to contact her if he still cares, because that way he'll see it's over for sure, and he won't try again. That's assuming, of course, the OP actually wants her still. If he doesn't want her, and just made this topic in complaint, then by all means, DON'T. I said that already.
edward-e Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 what thomas is trying to say is....he shouldnt contact her because he clearly stated he doesnt want to get back with her...but if he does still wanna get back to her break it cuz the pain of getting thrown to the side again will force him to move on..i know what he means too cuz sometimes u just need to get hurt that last time to truly move on and realize its done and not worth all the heartbreak. AS FOR THE OP i think u should stay without contact because u stated u dont want her. if its really over let it be over and just move on with your life.
darknightie Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 In the past, when she has left --- what was your reaction? Did you do NC and let her worry/wonder? Or were you satisfying her attempts to check in on you? If you did NOT do NC - then this time you should...at least til you get the "I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU PLEASE TAKE ME BACK" and then of course you can entertain the situation as you feel fit. But beware: she is flaky. If you keep doing what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Did you do NC and let her worry/wonder? Or were you satisfying her attempts to check in on you? Check in on him? Why would she do that? Please enlighten me as to what this concept means and how you know...
Beeotch Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 My girlfriend of 2.5 years moved out about three weeks ago. She said that she saw no future for us. I went no contact and have not tried to contact her at all. There has been zero contact on my side. I have no intentions of getting back together since this is the third time we have broken up all three initiated by her. The day she moved out she sent a text that said "I am sorry and I do love you" then last week I get an email that she added me as a friend on facebook I ignored the request. Today she pocket called me. She has never done this to me before. Why would someone do this? Who knows why....I would just look at it as her having issues and I would keep doing what I was doing.
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