lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Whenever I see a guy's Facebook page and there's a Betty gang bang all over it, I immediately lose all interest in him. Even if he just has tons of girls commenting on his page (or even just more girls than guys), and they're not obviously flirting I still find it to be a turn off. When I see that I just think "Ew, I'm not going to be one Betty out of your 100" - I mean, at least be tactful about it! Betty's shouldn't know about each other if that's the way it is. Same with girls - when I see the same thing going on on my girl friend's pages, I can't help but (somewhat judgmentally) think, "Well no wonder every guy you meet wants to hook up and hang out and nothing more. Look how you're marketing yourself."
northstar1 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Whenever I see a guy's Facebook page and there's a Betty gang bang all over it, I immediately lose all interest in him. Even if he just has tons of girls commenting on his page (or even just more girls than guys), and they're not obviously flirting I still find it to be a turn off. When I see that I just think "Ew, I'm not going to be one Betty out of your 100" - I mean, at least be tactful about it! Betty's shouldn't know about each other if that's the way it is. Same with girls - when I see the same thing going on on my girl friend's pages, I can't help but (somewhat judgmentally) think, "Well no wonder every guy you meet wants to hook up and hang out and nothing more. Look how you're marketing yourself." Hells ya. It doesn't help that people "market" themselves by posting tons of pointless stuff/pictures to make themselves look more "in". Honestly, how many "self shots" do people need to post from a party?
Star Gazer Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 "Look how you're marketing yourself." Nope, you're not alone. I think the same thing.
Stark Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I'm a bit confused. Do you mean the number of people they know/are "friends" with of the opposite sex, or what do you mean?
Author lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 I'm a bit confused. Do you mean the number of people they know/are "friends" with of the opposite sex, or what do you mean? No, the way I feel has nothing to do with how many virtual friends anyone has. I'm completely turned off by the frequency of comments, wall posts, etc. When I say "Betty gang bang" I mean there's a ridiculous number of comments from numerous girls about how hot the guy is, etc. But it really doesn't matter if it's outright flirting or not. If a guy's entire page is filled with comments from girls, and he has a fraction of that amount of comments from his guy friends...that's also a turn off.
Stark Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 No, the way I feel has nothing to do with how many virtual friends anyone has. I'm completely turned off by the frequency of comments, wall posts, etc. When I say "Betty gang bang" I mean there's a ridiculous number of comments from numerous girls about how hot the guy is, etc. But it really doesn't matter if it's outright flirting or not. If a guy's entire page is filled with comments from girls, and he has a fraction of that amount of comments from his guy friends...that's also a turn off. I kind of understand but don't. You say, wether the people who comment flirt or not, if they have a lot of comments from the opposite sex, regardless of flirting or not, is a turn off. To me and my simplified mind that just means you dislike the fact that they are friendly/flirty/talk to a lot more of the opposite sex.
Author lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 I kind of understand but don't. You say, wether the people who comment flirt or not, if they have a lot of comments from the opposite sex, regardless of flirting or not, is a turn off. For example: a guy I'm seeing is going on vacation; writes a status about it on Facebook. He gets a dozen comments about his status - a bunch of girls saying have fun, take me with you, I wish I was going, you're so lucky, etc. None of them are outright flirting. But I still find that to be a turn off. I paid a little more attention to his other FB comments, and it's literally all girls, and a handful of guys. I'm not jealous, but I don't really like it either. Just wondered if others felt the same. To me and my simplified mind that just means you dislike the fact that they are friendly/flirty/talk to a lot more of the opposite sex. This is probably correct. IRL I behave in such a way that I'm friendly, but very few guys would feel that it's appropriate to comment on every single thing on my page. The ones that would feel comfortable I'm either dating or related to, or he's one of my handful of guy friends. I don't have a problem with anyone having friends of the opposite sex, but I guess I feel that how you act IRL is reflected on your FB page...and guys who have more girl friends than guy friends, or flirt with tons of girls turns me off.
Author lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 And I guess part of it has to do with "specialness" also. Why would I want to be one of 20 girls who comment on his status? I don't! On top of that, if he (or any similar guy) and I ended up "together" I would want it to be more obvious to his FB friends that I was a special girl in his life.
Author lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Sorry for the serial posts...but maybe I should also add that I don't think the number of comments from either sex has anything to do with whether one has more friends of that sex IRL. For all anyone knows, the guy (or girl) doesn't see or interact with someone who writes on his/her wall very often IRL.
Stark Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Without a doubt then I consider it a turn off, I've always found it odd when the a girl/guy has a lot more closer friends in the opposite sex than they do in their own.
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Well, I have a lot of girl friends, and maybe it's b/c I'm a sensitive (read: pussy) guy who often relates better to women. I'm not a player, at all. Lora, maybe your guy is simply like me or something. IDK.
Author lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Well, I have a lot of girl friends, and maybe it's b/c I'm a sensitive (read: pussy) guy who often relates better to women. Well then maybe you can offer a different perspective How do you feel when you see that reflected on a girl's page? Has this ever caused you problems with girls you're dating? And maybe I should add that in my particular experience that sparked this question, I personally know that a good chunk of the girls who are commenting are ACQUAINTANCES and not what I would call "friends."
EddieN Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I'd feel the same way if I saw a girl's page and saw a bunch of dudes all over her.
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 How do you feel when you see that reflected on a girl's page? Has this ever caused you problems with girls you're dating? When I see a girl's FB page littered with comments from guys, sure, I think maybe she's kind of an overly flirtatious or slutty girl. I haven't Friended anyone I'm dating, so I can't answer that second question.
tigressA Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I got involved with a guy who had a Facebook and MySpace page like that a couple of years ago. And since that ended and we've become good friends, I found out that at least half the girls he's still "good friends" with, including me--not just on Facebook and MySpace, but IRL too--he's hooked up with/dated in the past! So yes, now that I went through that experience, seeing that kind of thing again with a guy I would be interested in would be a major turn-off. I would be very, very suspicious of his relationship to those girls.
Stark Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Well, I have a lot of girl friends, and maybe it's b/c I'm a sensitive (read: pussy) guy who often relates better to women. I'm not a player, at all. Lora, maybe your guy is simply like me or something. IDK. I'm a pretty sensitive guy too, when it comes to getting involved with woman, yet the majority of my friends I'm close with are guys. Be honest here, of all these female people you know, how many have you dated at some point, been interested in or at some point they were interested in you?
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 If you're trying to call me out, don't bother buddy. I know I have no game.
Stark Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 If you're trying to call me out, don't bother buddy. I know I have no game. I'm not trying to do anything, I'm just inquisitive as to why all your friends would be female. I can't accept you're sensitive as an answer, as I'm pretty sensitive too, but there are just some things you can't do with woman like you can guys, like having a few beers, game of poker, talking the way guys talk, gaming, sports etc.
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I have a decent amount of male friends. One's my guitarist, another guy I do a podcast with. And I play a weekly poker game with a buncha men's men. But I get along really well with chicks, too. I tend to be self-deprecating, open, and I ask em a lot of dating advice.
Confusedalways Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Wow, I never thought of it like this but it IS a turn off! Whenever I see it I just get but never realized it was a turn off. So yeah, you're definitely not alone!
New Again Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I feel the same way. As to the above posters, Stark and kzik, this is just me, I see it as an issue separate from who actual friends are. I'm not answering this question based on assuming the guy has lots of girl friends. If the girls are just acquaintances why would they be flirting or commenting so much if he didn't flirt with them when he does see them? And to take it a little further, I think it's an issue for me because of course I'm going to meet the girl friends if I'm dating a guy, and since they're friends, the other girls will know about me, we'll all get along fine, and I won't be uncomfortable and think things when they comment on his page. Acquaintances are a totally different story. I will probably never meet most of them, and since the guy isn't actually friends with them, why would they ever know about me? I think it's a little shady, and it's understandable that a situation like that would make someone uncomfortable.
Kamille Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 The OP had me go and check out the pages of my FB male friends I know kind of "fit the profile" of men who get a lot of women posting. Sure enough, there they were, a bunch of girls posting "nice running into you" etc. The thing is, these guys are my friends (never anything more) and I know they are good guys who like to hook up with girls, but who are also completely capable of falling in love and maintaining relationships. And usually, the girls seem to be commenting on a moment they shared together. These guys get the comments because they are great at making women feel special and comfortable. For me it wouldn't be a turn off so much as a "cool down". It would only mean I would need to not over-invest in the guy emotionally until he is worthy of my trust.
Author lora22 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 The thing is, these guys are my friends (never anything more) and I know they are good guys who like to hook up with girls, but who are also completely capable of falling in love and maintaining relationships. And usually, the girls seem to be commenting on a moment they shared together. These guys get the comments because they are great at making women feel special and comfortable. For me it wouldn't be a turn off so much as a "cool down". It would only mean I would need to not over-invest in the guy emotionally until he is worthy of my trust. Kamille that is such a nice, eloquent way of putting it. I pretty much agree with your assessment too - depending on the guy/comments. The guy I had in mind when I wrote this actually totally fits that description - that he's good at making women feel special and comfortable. Ironically I love this about him, but also hate it. Partly because, that makes me feel a lot less special.
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