hockysa Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Sorry if this is posted in the wrong section, but I'd really like a few opinions on my situation. Background I'm a male dating a girl, been with her 2+ years officially maybe 3 unofficially. So it's not a lifetime, but I can't say that it's a short time either. I really like this girl, I can picture myself being happily married to her, have kids running around doing picnics and other sorts of family outings. I wouldn't say that she loves me more than I love her, but when I think about it it does seem like she cares more for me than I do her. And that my attraction spawns from her caring and affection. Problem I really want to have a threesome. She doesn't. I know she doesn't because I've brought the topic up before. She's not into girls and she will be very jealous. She already got jealous over the idea. but... She also loves me very much and would probably do it for me if she knew how much I wanted it. She would do anything for me. But that doesn't help me because if that happened I'd be overcome with guilt, and wouldn't be able to enjoy my fantasy. I've wanted one for such a long time I remember saying after my previous girlfriend that I'd never get into another relationship till I got what I wanted. After futile attempts sleeping around I somehow got into a relationship. So what I'm asking is, for the older males do those feelings of wanting such a fantasy ever go away?? What I'm hoping for is for it to fade away. Will something I've wanted for such a long time (most of my life) ever fade? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 See this thread. There's a time to be honest and forthright, and there's a time to keep your yap shut and leave it in the world of fantasy. This is the latter. FWIW, threesomes aren't all they're cracked up to be. Trust me on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 See this thread. There's a time to be honest and forthright, and there's a time to keep your yap shut and leave it in the world of fantasy. This is the latter. FWIW, threesomes aren't all they're cracked up to be. Trust me on this. what happens to that bloke in the thread is what I'm afraid of too. and ur last line doesnt help at all. it just means another person except me hasn't had a threesome. it's an experience I want I'm not expecting it to be awesome Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 what the **** do you want a threesom for? dont be such a jerk. be happy with what you have. reading your post pissed me off big time. the only reason you want a threesome, and i dont care what you say, is cos you are not truly satisfied with what you have. go and get your head sorted out. you dont deserve this girl. peh... FYI- i had a 3som 6 years ago with 2 sisters...its not all its cracked up to be. sometimes we dont know what we got, and im telling you, you current gf will starft to have trust issues after you bringing that up. seriously man , sort you **** out Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 what the **** do you want a threesom for? dont be such a jerk. be happy with what you have. reading your post pissed me off big time. the only reason you want a threesome, and i dont care what you say, is cos you are not truly satisfied with what you have. go and get your head sorted out. you dont deserve this girl. peh... FYI- i had a 3som 6 years ago with 2 sisters...its not all its cracked up to be. sometimes we dont know what we got, and im telling you, you current gf will starft to have trust issues after you bringing that up. seriously man , sort you **** out why do you have to rub it in for? it's not even related to my post you're just venting and bragging Link to post Share on other sites
joseffrost Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 OK hockysa, I won't rub it in, because I have never had a threesome, but are you really willing to give up something that you perceive as being good and possibly with a future for such a silly reason? Most people have their own little sexual peccadilloes that they feel might enhance their sex lives, the big problem with threesomes is that it introduces another person into the equation. You don't need a psychology degree to understand why that might make them think "well, am I not enough for him?". Put it this way, if she asked you to bring your best (male) friend along for some bedroom fun, how would you react? There are plenty of people on here mourning lost loves - if you've got something good don't ruin it. You're lady may love you, but love doesn't mean bowing to your every selfish whim. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Dont ruin your good relationship, drop it and stop being greedy. I swear this generation is kinda screwed up. I mean he already asked her , she said no. and he still is going on about it. Why couldnt you find the threesome when you was single? Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 you took the only part of my message that was actually saying ts NOT what its cracked up to be to have a 3som and twisted it round to me bragging. trust me, there is nothing to braga about, it was a disaster. i think your annoyed because you know im right that you need to get your **** together. either leave your gf and go and persue your fantasy, or leave it as just that- a fantasy. how would you feel if your gf wanted a 3som but with another guy in the bed instead of a girl? Link to post Share on other sites
redmelon Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Get 2 blow up dolls and go to town. Seriously, is this the only problem you have? It truly comes off as ridiculous. People on here aren't going to have sympathy for you in this situation, because it's not worthy of sympathy. Waaa, I want to have a 3some - it makes me laugh. Be happy and grateful that this is your worst problem. THAT is the positive thing to realize here...you are lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Get 2 blow up dolls and go to town. Seriously, is this the only problem you have? It truly comes off as ridiculous. People on here aren't going to have sympathy for you in this situation, because it's not worthy of sympathy. Waaa, I want to have a 3some - it makes me laugh. Be happy and grateful that this is your worst problem. THAT is the positive thing to realize here...you are lucky. well said! posting in coping with this kind of 'problem' is just suicide. Everyone here has told you there opinion, and it's all the same. Im not rubbing anything in your face at all, nor am i bragging, and EVERYTHING i wrote was related to your post. If i wanted to brag and rant i would write my own thread. You need to grow up a bit if you take such offence at people relating to your 'oh so disasterous problem' and saying it was a BAD experience and to be thankful for the love you share with your gf....althought for one, i am questioning that love you share on your part. My question still stands- what if your gf wanted a 3som with another guy? how would you feel? As chrome said- be happy with what you have. Red is right too- if this is your only problem you are lucky!! Link to post Share on other sites
ON MY OWN Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Kudos to the sane people answering this thread. For petes sake she has already told you no and if you loved her you would respect that. The topic should be finished. You would make your gf miserable for "an experience"? All I have to say to that is WOW, how horrible. Get a porn and go to town, some things can be kept in the fantasy world and you can have a wonderful relationship without ruining it over 1 night. She cares for you more? What is that? If your going to marry and reproduce dont you think it should be equal? More issues here than a threesome... Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Hockysa, I think you might be missing the point. The fulfilment of the 3-some fantasy simply isn't worth the risk of destroying the relationship. You have to remember that when you see it in videos or whatever, those are highly choreographed, edited and lit for effect, with layers of makeup and using dramatic camera angles. It comes off as some sort of magical fantasy because it is a fantasy. The reality is that there are a lot of elbows and knees flying about during and some stilted and uncomfortable conversation after the fact. And if all parties aren't on the same page - that is, if one (or more) of the participants goes into it with hesitation - then the memory of it won't be a good one and it will fester for a long, long time. Frankly, it's just not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
huck Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 mmm - maybe not a post for the coping section !!. Assuming this post isnt a wind up - If this is the worst thing happening in your life at the moment then your lucky a guy.. Most of the people on here are hurting at the mo - and this is a bit of a P*ss take subject in my opinion.. Like Soulbear said - what would you do if your gfriend said yes - but wanted a guy to bang her instead..?? If shes said no - then deal with it - it might make things worse with your relationship.. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 he would have got the same response pretty much, wherever he posted. the fact his final descision was that coping was the right place is just a funny extra. he doesnt deserve this girl. She cares for you more? What is that? If your going to marry and reproduce dont you think it should be equal? More issues here than a threesome... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 wow i think all the anti threesome people are missing the point. please read my post again and take these points into consideration. My question WASN'T how do I get my girl to have a threesome it was Will something I've wanted for such a long time (most of my life) ever fade? so to all the people ready to abuse me read it properly instead of jumping to conclusions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 you took the only part of my message that was actually saying ts NOT what its cracked up to be to have a 3som and twisted it round to me bragging. trust me, there is nothing to braga about, it was a disaster. i think your annoyed because you know im right that you need to get your **** together. either leave your gf and go and persue your fantasy, or leave it as just that- a fantasy. how would you feel if your gf wanted a 3som but with another guy in the bed instead of a girl? i didnt simply take one part and twist it you said you had a threesome with sisters. mentioning that they were sisters was a useless point you just put it out there for bragging rights. do you understand now or do i have to spoon feed u everything Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 spoon feed me please Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 well said! posting in coping with this kind of 'problem' is just suicide. Everyone here has told you there opinion, and it's all the same. Im not rubbing anything in your face at all, nor am i bragging, and EVERYTHING i wrote was related to your post. If i wanted to brag and rant i would write my own thread. You need to grow up a bit if you take such offence at people relating to your 'oh so disasterous problem' and saying it was a BAD experience and to be thankful for the love you share with your gf....althought for one, i am questioning that love you share on your part. My question still stands- what if your gf wanted a 3som with another guy? how would you feel? As chrome said- be happy with what you have. Red is right too- if this is your only problem you are lucky!! everything you posted has not been related. read the post properly the question is right down the bottom. none of your posts answer my question its just you raging at me Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 ok. to answer your 'question' (althought there is clearly more to it than that)- NO, it wont fade away. You are just digging yourself in a big hole here. Quit now while you are ahead. My experience was nothing to brag about, it lasted all of 5 mins before things got ugly, i couldnt get it up, one of them felt left out, i didnt have a clue how to satisfy 2 women at once and neither of them talk to me anymore. or is that considered bragging too? You obviously dont appreciate what you have already. If you did you would be satisfied with her and her alone and wouldnt need another woman to stick it too. When she dumps your ass for making her insecure, and feeling like she isnt enough for you, and you start to see what it is that you lost, you will see that having a 3som is just a stupid idea whilst in a R. At the end of the day, you are thinking with your private parts, and nothing else. Pathetic. What if she wanted another guy in the bedroom??? Answer me this Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 ok. to answer your 'question' (althought there is clearly more to it than that)- NO, it wont fade away. You are just digging yourself in a big hole here. Quit now while you are ahead. My experience was nothing to brag about, it lasted all of 5 mins before things got ugly, i couldnt get it up, one of them felt left out, and neither of them talk to me anymore. You obviously dont appreciate what you have already. If you did you would be satisfied with her and her alone and wouldnt need another woman to stick it too. When she dumps your ass for making her insecure, and feeling like she isnt enough for you, and you start to see what it is that you lost, you will see that having a 3som is just a stupid idea whilst in a R. What if she wanted another guy in the bedroom??? Answer me this Look I know where you're going and it's not about that. Can you please stop whoring my thread? if you want I can answer those things for you in PM or in you're own thread. also you're opinion to my question is irrelevant seeing as you've had your threesome experience. I would need opinions from individuals who have been in my position before. So unless there's more to you're story that can answer my question please stop giving me your opinions/stories/advice it's going unappreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 your a lost cause. Im not whoring your thread, i dont see anyone else here telling you any different, and didnt you read what my experience was?! I said it was a disaster!! Its not even an experience!! And as far as bragging goes, how many braggers tell the world on a forum that they couldnt get it up?! Im just as qualified as the next one to pass judgment on what you have written. You didnt just ask the question, you put in emotions and told us about your gf. IF you had asked soley about wanting a 3som and does it ever go away wanting the fantasy it would be a different story, but you didnt. Im not expecting you to appreciate anything i have written,. I know fine well its not what you want to hear and it makes you mad, but you need a good kick up the arse and a wake up call. - seems to me the only thing thayt is going to do that to you is actually losing your love and finding out that you actually never even wanted a 3som and it was just some fantasy. The truth hurts. If anyone else here disagrees with me please speak up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hockysa Posted July 18, 2009 Author Share Posted July 18, 2009 your a lost cause. Im not whoring your thread, i dont see anyone else here telling you any different, and didnt you read what my experience was?! I said it was a disaster!! Its not even an experience!! And as far as bragging goes, how many braggers tell the world on a forum that they couldnt get it up?! Im just as qualified as the next one to pass judgment on what you have written. You didnt just ask the question, you put in emotions and told us about your gf. IF you had asked soley about wanting a 3som and does it ever go away wanting the fantasy it would be a different story, but you didnt. Im not expecting you to appreciate anything i have written,. I know fine well its not what you want to hear and it makes you mad, but you need a good kick up the arse and a wake up call. The truth hurts. If anyone else here disagrees with me please speak up. *sigh* you are making up arguments for your points. I haven't mentioned you bragging since you added that you couldn't get it up. I think you need to get off your high horse and stop believing you are wise enough to pass judgment. please re read, and read thoroughly before further posts Link to post Share on other sites
joseffrost Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 I would need opinions from individuals who have been in my position before. What is your exact position? Somebody who is willing to risk a healthy relationship for a new sexual experience? Then surely anyone who has ever cheated or have wanted to cheat is in your position? If your girlfriend has said no, that means she's not into it. Just like if you asked her if you sleep with her sister/mother/aunt/friend and she said no. Learn to respect boundaries, or leave her and find a girl who will indulge your desires. Believe it or not, having a threesome is not a right that you are owed. Link to post Share on other sites
Soul Bear Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 im on no high horse here, far from it, as im sure everyone here who knows me will tell you straight up. Look, everyone has given you exactly the same opinions, you dont like what you read, thats tough ****. Somebody who is willing to risk a healthy relationship for a new sexual experience? Then surely anyone who has ever cheated or have wanted to cheat is in your position? If your girlfriend has said no, that means she's not into it. Just like if you asked her if you sleep with her sister/mother/aunt/friend and she said no. Learn to respect boundaries, or leave her and find a girl who will indulge your desires. Believe it or not, having a threesome is not a right that you are owed. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnP82 Posted July 18, 2009 Share Posted July 18, 2009 Telling him not to pursue this for the sake of protecting his relationship is one thing, and I would not disagree with that. However to say that a threesome is overrated when you have never had one I imagine is like telling someone that driving a Ferrari is overrated. Link to post Share on other sites
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