hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 i finally did it...i have now gone to the edge of the cliff pondering should i spread my wings and fly or go back the other way. This is the metaphor of despair. I have been tryin hard to NC my ex. Brief update for those who dont know: she broke up with me June 3 said she doesnt love me anymore needs space next day she is over another guys house. i have been checking her phone records,email,etc. for the past month and a half they talk periodically and she has seen him several times. they were intimate before we started dating so i assume she is comfortable with him. I am sure they are sleeping together again if not soon. anyway i have gone completely crazy over this gurl. I went to the edge last night and stalked her. He was at her house for like 5 hrs not sure what they did followed him to his apt so i now know where he stays i called her after he left and try to play it off she lied and said that his car was a random person tryin to find parking. she stays in a residential neighborhood and there were no other cars on the street and it was parked in front of her house. i know i was wrong for stalking her and i normally wouldnt care but i am n love with this gurl and i am crushed that she has moved on. i cried so hard last night and i havent slept in the last 24 hrs--i cant!!!!!!! i am really trying to get over her and move forward but i want to be with her and i feel rejected that she is spending time with someone else. i know now that i am not ready to even begin to think about being with her again esp. since she is wit someone else. i have a lot of emotional turmoil and angst that i need to resolve b4 venturing out and either trying with her or with someone else. i need help bad....
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Yes, you do need help. Professional help, too, not just help from a friend or family member. You need to contact a professional, your case is easily in the top 3 worst I've read here. The way you're acting is psychotic, borderline schizophrenic, antisocial, creepy, ludicrous, and just plain unacceptable. Yes, she ****ed you over, and I would be in as much pain as you are, too. The difference is, though, what you're doing is illegal, and ****ing nutty, CREEPY, weird, unhealthy, damaging to both ends, foolish, MASOCHISTIC, illogical, and just plain wrong. Screw this girl, she was very wrong and has severe issues, but you need help too, FOR YOU. For YOUR sake. For your own sanity.
Author hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 i know i need help not sure about professional though i am considering counseling i plan to stop all those things i mentioned b4 it is unhealthy to me myself and i i am trying to cope better not abusing alcohol and hittin the gym like crazy.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 That's good. The mere fact you acknowledge you need to see a councilor shows that you have potential to heal, and most likely WILL. In fact, I'm sure you will with the right guidance, no doubt in my mind. This girl is the wrong one out of you two, and she should hate herself for who she is. Shame shame indeed on her
Author hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 she definitely has some issues as we all do and though i have done some things in the relationship i have truly changed but instead of working at it i was dumped said she didnt love me anymore and conveniently moved to someone else swiftly i think she is selfish and i understand that if u know what u want then dont settle but it is the way u go about doin that that counts she is deceitful too which i will not tolerate anymore. she is wonderful but i will no longer put her on the pedestal. she is foul and is still lying to me and we are broken up??!!!!
Thomas X Forever Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Rest assured, not only will she never be happy, but neither will anyone who is with her. You think this prick she is with, will have a happy ending with her? He's gonna crash and burn, just like she is. Some people are better than others at running from their problems, but in the end, everyone gets exhausted, and the problems catch up. This girl is a mental track star, but all her running will accomplish, is make her more exhausted and worn down when she finally faces all the problems she's running from. It's gonna hit her ten times harder, and she'll be all the weaker cuz of all her running. People with her mental composition, her mental make up, in the end, usually commit suicide. She is a suicide risk. Not yet, because she's still running... but in the end.
Author hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 kinda harsh idk but she has issues she needs to deal with and i am through helping her i hope she is happy and i am really trying to move on it is really hard and this is the 1st day....,
moo Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 hrtbrk, I really want you to get some professional help. If you cannot afford it, there are programs out there, and as I've told other people, many colleges and universities will offer free counseling to the public. You have to stop this now. You are going down a very, very, very dark road that can escalate to someone getting hurt or you getting in jail. Stop it now. Let me know if you need help in finding a therapist or counselor. Take care of this pronto....okay?
Saudade Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 You poor thing. I am so sorry you are going through this right now, it is so hard I know. Please take sometime out, do not stalk your ex, it isn't healthy for you - get away, go on holiday, see a family memeber far away. I can not tell you enough. Your behaviour will drive you insane - trust me on this. What you don't know won't hurt you, tell yourself that time and time again. Ignorance is bliss believe me. We are all here for the same reason, all hurting like hell. WE are on the sinking ship together - rescue will come soon for all of us I'm sure. Please stay as strong as you can.
Beeotch Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 i finally did it...i have now gone to the edge of the cliff pondering should i spread my wings and fly or go back the other way. This is the metaphor of despair. I have been tryin hard to NC my ex. Brief update for those who dont know: she broke up with me June 3 said she doesnt love me anymore needs space next day she is over another guys house. i have been checking her phone records,email,etc. for the past month and a half they talk periodically and she has seen him several times. they were intimate before we started dating so i assume she is comfortable with him. I am sure they are sleeping together again if not soon. anyway i have gone completely crazy over this gurl. I went to the edge last night and stalked her. He was at her house for like 5 hrs not sure what they did followed him to his apt so i now know where he stays i called her after he left and try to play it off she lied and said that his car was a random person tryin to find parking. she stays in a residential neighborhood and there were no other cars on the street and it was parked in front of her house. i know i was wrong for stalking her and i normally wouldnt care but i am n love with this gurl and i am crushed that she has moved on. i cried so hard last night and i havent slept in the last 24 hrs--i cant!!!!!!! i am really trying to get over her and move forward but i want to be with her and i feel rejected that she is spending time with someone else. i know now that i am not ready to even begin to think about being with her again esp. since she is wit someone else. i have a lot of emotional turmoil and angst that i need to resolve b4 venturing out and either trying with her or with someone else. i need help bad.... I am not being facetious at all when I say this---perhaps you should see a counselor. If you feel really overwhelmed you should. You will be glad you did. Otherwise...you already know what you did was outrageous. I think lots of times we think of these things but you actually acted on it. I hope you got it out of your system. In this case...you should sit down and try to think clearly amidst your pain and turmoil and despair. They are just feelings...and seriously, after a while they lessen in intensity and then disappear. You DON'T want to keep doing crazy and ridiculous things because of feelings. You know its crazy and you know it isnt helping her come back to you or helping you feel better...so cry, scream, do what you must to express yourself. Write a lengthy email note to her but don't send it. Get together with friends, go away for a while...ANY and EVERYTHING besides what you are doing now.
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