d0ll Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 my last thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t193962/ pretty much explains my situation but nowww the other day we were talking about a dream I had where I was waiting for a date .. to make a long story short we started talking about dating (in general) & he said that thinking about dating is weird to him right now, does that mean he's not interested in me? so I got pretty annoyed .. we talked for a little longer & I signed off but before I signed off I put in my status "moving on" when I got back on he IMed me asing if I was okay & blah blah blah .. few hours later everything was back to normal but i don't know what to do anymore he def. knew I was mad though
lilly83 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Do you know what his reasons are for not wanting to date? Has something bad happend in the past which has made him like this? It is hard to say unless I know more about the situation. If he has been hurt it could mean that he wants to take things really slow and get to know you more first before taking it to the next stage. He could be scared because he has never had a relationship before. The best thing that you can do is think about what will make you happy. Are you happy to wait around for him because there is a chance of something happenig in the future? Or is it best to cut all losses now and move on to someone who is ready for a relationship/to date? You really must think about what is best for you and what will make you happy.
Author d0ll Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Do you know what his reasons are for not wanting to date? Has something bad happend in the past which has made him like this? It is hard to say unless I know more about the situation. If he has been hurt it could mean that he wants to take things really slow and get to know you more first before taking it to the next stage. He could be scared because he has never had a relationship before. The best thing that you can do is think about what will make you happy. Are you happy to wait around for him because there is a chance of something happenig in the future? Or is it best to cut all losses now and move on to someone who is ready for a relationship/to date? You really must think about what is best for you and what will make you happy. yeah he just got out of a 1.5 year relationship a little more then a month ago .. we've know eachother for 2 years
lilly83 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 1 month from a 1.5 year relationship is too soon to be dating. Just spend time with him as a friend, have some fun together, show him how much you care with out putting any pressure on him. Give him the time and space that he needs to grive and move on from the past relationship. I think that he is just being honest with you, he is still hurt about what happend and needs some time before moving on. He wants some single time, time to be a bachelor and do what men do. Also another thing - Are you good friends with him? Has there always been a strong friendship? If so then this could be another reason for him not making the move. He may be scared of messing things up, ruining the friendship and loosing your friendship. He may have a fear of you not working out and loosing you completly and would rather you be friends than nothing at all. If you are happy to wait for a couple of months and see if his feelings have changed in a couple of months time when he has moved on from her and feel that his feelings could change then do it. Just spend time with him as a friend and have fun, dont metion about you liking him again for a while and see if things naturally develop. If you are not happy to wait for a couple of months and dont feel that he will ever see you as more than a friend then stay friends with him and have contact but move on to someone else.
utterer of lies Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 thinking about dating is weird A more honest version would be: Thinking about dating YOU right now is weird.
Author d0ll Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 A more honest version would be: Thinking about dating YOU right now is weird. ha, no he's always flirting with me
Author d0ll Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 1 month from a 1.5 year relationship is too soon to be dating. Just spend time with him as a friend, have some fun together, show him how much you care with out putting any pressure on him. Give him the time and space that he needs to grive and move on from the past relationship. I think that he is just being honest with you, he is still hurt about what happend and needs some time before moving on. He wants some single time, time to be a bachelor and do what men do. Also another thing - Are you good friends with him? Has there always been a strong friendship? If so then this could be another reason for him not making the move. He may be scared of messing things up, ruining the friendship and loosing your friendship. He may have a fear of you not working out and loosing you completly and would rather you be friends than nothing at all. If you are happy to wait for a couple of months and see if his feelings have changed in a couple of months time when he has moved on from her and feel that his feelings could change then do it. Just spend time with him as a friend and have fun, dont metion about you liking him again for a while and see if things naturally develop. If you are not happy to wait for a couple of months and dont feel that he will ever see you as more than a friend then stay friends with him and have contact but move on to someone else. i guess we're close online? we talk everyday but hardly ever hang out .. i'm actually getting pretty pissed because he's starting to talk to other girls he talked to before he was in relationship again .. i'm thinking i'm gonna tell him i don't want to be his online buddy anymore & i'm tired of him flirting with me & who knows who else for nothing
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 .. that he's been leaving picture comments to girls on myspace saying they're cute & stuff
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 ha, no he's always flirting with me hes not flirting, hes keeping you dangling, and you let him. He isnt interested in you. Leave him alone, stop stroking his ego.
D-Lish Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 It sounds like he only thinks of you as a friend, not more. I have male friends that flirt with me- but there is no romantic interest. After getting out of a relationship as he just has- he isn't ready to date. Right now, he is looking to boost his ego.
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 It sounds like he only thinks of you as a friend, not more. I have male friends that flirt with me- but there is no romantic interest. After getting out of a relationship as he just has- he isn't ready to date. Right now, he is looking to boost his ego. hmm yeah he told me the other day when he went out some weird girls were flirting with him & he ignored them but it was a good ego boost, I just don't get why he sends me good morning texts & calls me gorgeous & cute things like that it's dumb if theres no feelings there
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I think he is ready to date, he just isnt ready to date you. Youre not even in the ball park.
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 I think he is ready to date, he just isnt ready to date you. Youre not even in the ball park. um you don't know really know that you're not him
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 um you don't know really know that you're not him Oh so you only posted here to see replys to your post that only say "hes into you, just try harder"? Just so you see what you want to see? How many different posters have to type "hes not into you" for you to accept it?
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 Oh so you only posted here to see replys to your post that only say "hes into you, just try harder"? Just so you see what you want to see? How many different posters have to type "hes not into you" for you to accept it? no I would accept if I thought it was true, but I don't buy it just yet however i'm going to stop talking to him for a while & replying to his texts right away & see what happens & if/when he asks why i'll tell him i'm tired of being just his online/text buddy
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 no I would accept if I thought it was true, but I don't buy it just yet however i'm going to stop talking to him for a while & replying to his texts right away & see what happens & if/when he asks why i'll tell him i'm tired of being just his online/text buddy well thats a start to accepting it....you will come back in a week and say we were right...care to wager?
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 well thats a start to accepting it....you will come back in a week and say we were right...care to wager? why so negative?
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 why so negative? Its not negative, its common sense, but youre too emotionally invested in this guy to see the truth for yourself. Everyone on the outside can see it but you. Dont you have anyone else you can date, or do you just enjoy stirring up your own emotions? Ill bet you $100 that I am right about him not being interested in you. Because he would have made a move by now. Are you afraid that what everyone else is saying is true and you just dont want all your hopes dashed? Are you not as confident in your hopes as I am in my assessment? I got at least 5 other posters backing me up. Oh wait, maybe youre young. Do you want me to lie to you and say: "Keep trying girl, make a move on him, he likes you, he just is too shy to say it, guys always back off when they like women, he must really like you. All you have to do is do nothing, and he will eventually confess his love for you, kind of like cinderella." Ok, now Im just being mean, but is that what you want? You want to be lied to so you feel better? Exactly what is it that you want to hear?
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 Ill bet you $100 that I am right about him not being interested in you. Because he would have made a move by now. made a move by now? he just got out of a 1.5 year relationship! & when we were talking about dating we werent talking about dating eachother we were talking about dating in general & how much it sucks unless you already know the person
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 made a move by now? he just got out of a 1.5 year relationship! & when we were talking about dating we werent talking about dating eachother we were talking about dating in general & how much it sucks unless you already know the person So youre going to ignore my other questions? Youre in denial.
Author d0ll Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 So youre going to ignore my other questions? Youre in denial. your other questions are not relevant
boogieboy Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 your other questions are not relevant Well then keep lying to yourself. You seem to enjoy it.
Author d0ll Posted July 20, 2009 Author Posted July 20, 2009 Well then keep lying to yourself. You seem to enjoy it. actually we just went out on a date so yeah .. i bet now you'll say something like "that doesn't mean anything, he still doesn't like you" because you're probably a bitter 40 year old with no life
utterer of lies Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 actually we just went out on a date so yeah .. i bet now you'll say something like "that doesn't mean anything, he still doesn't like you" because you're probably a bitter 40 year old with no life Or all the girls that were a higher priority than you didn't want to date him, so now it's your turn. And going ad hominem on boogieboy for being honest doesn't help.
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