which lies do you accept?

[hopefulInFuture]

I have a big, huge problem with people lying to me. I have a very difficult time getting over them. It's because I simply don't understand why they have to lie to me. I am a very open person and I don't criticize. But I want to know the things always as they are.

 

My last relationship did not work out because I caught him lying to me several times (I am certain it would have never worked out because he was a pathological liar anyway). The thing is that all of the lies were big deal so I detached myself from him and he went on with more and more lies.

 

This is what I am wondering about. I have read a lot about lying and I know that all humans lie sometimes. They sometimes lie to make someone feel better. For example a husband telling a wife how great she looks when she's having the worst of her days. Or somebody lying that they're doing something that you prohibited them to do (for example, smoking or eating specific things) while, honestly, they're not really doing something bad. As I look back at my life, I know that I have lied too different times. Many times I said I was having a great time while I was annoyed to death. Or that something someone did for me was wonderful why I did not really think so. Or other lies about small things just not to make people worry or sad. One of the bigger lies I said was when I once went to a concert. I wanted to go and my boyfriend at the time was away. He never let me go to the concerts. So I said to myself I will go to the concert. I did tell him that I was going to a concert but did not tell him which one. I did not really hide much from him although it was still a lie. But considering that he was always so obsessive about me not going to the huge concerts, I did not have a courage to tell him that I was going to one of those... and I was going alone...

 

Sorry for deviations... but the point I was trying to make is that it's a human nature to lie. Sometimes lies are meant to be white to please you. A lot of times lies are made to cover up the detrimental actions that someone is doing to you. And honestly I can't really accept that when someone is covering up their actions so that they don't allow me to make informed decisions they're doing this because they love me!!!!

 

Considering that I have a very heard time understanding which lies are ok and which are not, I would like to understand how all of you deal with lies. What is acceptable to you and what is not...