SimpleSam Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I've been dating this girl for one month. She is really cool and, the time we do spend with each other, is really nice (we're both pretty busy with our careers). However, I think she is nervous to have sex. For example, the other night she asked me if I wanted to spend the night. With my male brain, I figured that she wants it. However, when I get over there, she tells me that she is not ready to make that step. I told her, in the beginning, that I could wait. She made a statement along the lines of, "usually, when I'm seeing someone, I have no problem hoping into bed with said person, but with you, its different." Should I take this as a complement or is there something I am doing wrong?
pandagirl Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I've been dating this girl for one month. She is really cool and, the time we do spend with each other, is really nice (we're both pretty busy with our careers). However, I think she is nervous to have sex. For example, the other night she asked me if I wanted to spend the night. With my male brain, I figured that she wants it. However, when I get over there, she tells me that she is not ready to make that step. I told her, in the beginning, that I could wait. She made a statement along the lines of, "usually, when I'm seeing someone, I have no problem hoping into bed with said person, but with you, its different." Should I take this as a complement or is there something I am doing wrong? I think it means she really likes you and doesn't want to rush things. It has only been a month. Just out of curiosity -- does a girl "holding out" for you on sex, make you think she doesn't like you?
Author SimpleSam Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 No, not really. Sometimes I just get insecure because it makes me feel that I may be doing something wrong. I appreciate the advice.
JustLooking123 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 It has just been a month. Go with it. Sounds promising so far, sounds like she is in to you. Give it time!
Chicago_Guy Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I don't think that waiting a month is that big of a deal. However, I would be more concerned that she said that she has no problem hopping into bed with someone she's seeing, but not with you. Why would she even say something like that?
colosseum Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 However, I would be more concerned that she said that she has no problem hopping into bed with someone she's seeing, but not with you. Why would she even say something like that? Lol yeah, I get around, but...not with you. Why would she say something like that? Why don't you ask her what she means by that? See what she says.
MusicChick24 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I think it's because she has had mindless sex with guys that meant nothing. And now she is telling you that you mean more to her than those other guys. Take that as a compliment. But if you rush it you'll be on thin ice cause she may bolt if she feels like you are pressuring for sex.
Thaddeus Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Waiting a month is nothing. Having her invite you into her bed but denying you sex is the worst. Then when she slipped the, "...I have no problem hoping into bed with said person, but with you, its different..." bomb, that's about as big an insult as I can possibly imagine. She's saying, "I like you but not in that way." You're just about to be friend-zoned
colosseum Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Waiting a month is nothing. Having her invite you into her bed but denying you sex is the worst. Then when she slipped the, "...I have no problem hoping into bed with said person, but with you, its different..." bomb, that's about as big an insult as I can possibly imagine. She's saying, "I like you but not in that way." You're just about to be friend-zoned Oh yeah, that sounds right, actually. LOl.
JohnP82 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Yeah, that has to make you feel special. She has no problem jumping into bed with some other dudes, but not with you. I will admit that I'm not the most experienced person in the dating world but that sounds kinda strange. I guess she told you this in an effort to make a compliment and set you apart, but that sucks.
You'reasian Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Yeah, that has to make you feel special. She has no problem jumping into bed with some other dudes, but not with you. Good point. Women know within the first 30 seconds of meeting you if they want to have sex with you. Consider yourself friend-zoned.
kizik Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 two words - more boozing. Completely agreed. Get two vodka-crans in her and it'll be a different story altogether.
startingover2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 I have had this happen to me before, it is a sign that she wants to see where things go with you because she is really into you. She does not want you to be with her for the sex, she wants you to be with her for her. When it happened to me I took it to the next level and completely acted like I did not want the sex anymore. I never asked her about it and never tried to get things going, after a very short period of time she suggested that we have sex and I flipped the script and told her no. Nothing makes a woman want it more than you not wanting it. Sadly I gave in a week later, it was some of the hottest sex I had ever had! I guess her really wanting it because I was saying no made her hot and me wanting it when she was saying no really made me hot. Give it a try and see what happens. By the way, I actualy enjoyed spending time with her when I was not always thinking about or wanting sex, it allowed me to enjoy her and our time together for who she was. Just a thought!
pwnstigator Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Waiting a month is nothing. Having her invite you into her bed but denying you sex is the worst. Then when she slipped the, "...I have no problem hoping into bed with said person, but with you, its different..." bomb, that's about as big an insult as I can possibly imagine. She's saying, "I like you but not in that way." You're just about to be friend-zoned Listen to this man. You need to DUMP her right now, not because she made you wait a month for sex-- that's fine, and actually a good sign-- but because she let a bunch of other dudes scramble her stuff already. A woman who's had "no problem hopping into bed" with a strange guy is NOT long-term material. Drop her now. Her desire for you will increase and she may allow you to sleep with her after you've ignored her for long enough. You might want to take the offer if your confidence is extremely low and you're desperate for physical affection; but otherwise, I'd advise you to ignore her outright because after you sleep with her, your odds of having a crazy stalker situation (NOT fun) escalate astronomically.
sxyNYCcpl Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 Just out of curiosity -- does a girl "holding out" for you on sex, make you think she doesn't like you? This wasn't directed to me, but I had to put in my 2 cents. A woman "holding out" wouldn't necessarily make me question if she liked me, but it WOULD make me think she didn't like sex.
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