Marina09 Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 Ok! I don't know how to begin. Well on my b-day (June 28th) I called my ex around 4 am to tell him that I still love him, and obviously his new girl found out. I was totally drunk, if I was sober I would have never do something like that, I'm not problematic at all. Well, a few days later, he wrote a message to me on facebook saying happy belated b-day, and we messaged each other for a whole week, he cleared some doubts I had and I cleared some doubts he had. He even told me that the new gf deleted my cell # from his phone but that he would not allowed her to do that and that we could still be friends if I wanted to. I felt really good talking to him again and especially because I knew that she didn't like it (she wasn't involved with our break up at all but I still feel jealous about her, sorry:(). Well the last facebook msg was on saturday, and on monday (2 days ago) I received a random text saying "I hope you don't have anything to do with what happened between _ _ _ _ and me, if you do please let me know." It was her!!! I didn't reply, but I sent him a text and he told they had just broken up because he found a lot of things that she had done behind his back, and that she was a psychopath, and that he never imagined meeting someone like that. He apologized to me for getting me involved (I guess the fight was because of me), and I apologized for provoking her on my b-day, and he replied that she was jealous of me before that but because of my texts and calls he found out everything she had done. I have no idea what she did, I guess deleting my #, deleting pix, may be calling me (I got more than one random call during the last months), etc. Well at the end he told me he's scared she will go to his house to threaten him, so I guess she's really a psycho... After that I was happy because I think he deserved to find someone like that after dumping me and moving on sooo fast, and because I thought if she was jealous of me was a reason, may be he still loved me, but today I've felt really depressed, deep in my heart I expected him to call me and say he's sorry for not giving me the value I deserved, but I don't think he's gonna call at all, and may be they're back together, and I'm still alone, no boyfriend, no date, and after 6 months still thinking about him... If he calls me I will be so happy, I don't know if I will get back with him (even though I will love that but I think that will be degrading myself), but I just want him to value me and feel sory and depressed for everything that he did to me, to summarize I want him to love me like I love him, even if we're never back together! Can you understand me and the way I'm feeling??? Please convince me that I'm being weak and this will pass... I feel like day one, depressed, sad, alone... HE DOESN'T LOVE ME!!! Now I'm the ex ex, and may be he will just get a new girlfriend and forget about both of us.. HELP!!!
Sevenscars Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 This is really good to read. I have a slightly different, yet slightly similar situation as you, and you listed out some of the same worries, fears, and hopes that I am feeling as well. Though the names and the faces are not the same, it is comforting to know that other people feel the same things I do. It makes me feel less lonely. I hope this passes on to you as well...though I can not change your situation or offer you advice, just know that what you are going through isn't much different than what I am. You are not alone!
Author Marina09 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks I hope you get better! May be he will call me but not to apologize, may be he's sad about the break up and he will just use me as his plan b. That sucks, two years and not even an apology!
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 17, 2009 Posted July 17, 2009 we all wish that someone would love the same as the other but this is not always the case. my ex told me she doesnt love me anymore and less than a month is seeing another guy hurts like hell i know she loves me still but we had a lot of baggage in the beginning which stagnated our love i dont know if we will get back together but life goes on and i want her back but i need to heal myself make myself better. u do the same heal urself and move forward.
Author Marina09 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks for your advice, but let me ask you something: will you get back with her if she came to you and says she still loves you even if she was with somebody else? That thought has been bugging me, if he called me back and said those things, will I be willing to forget he had a serious girlfriend for 3 months or more, and get back with him? I don't even know why I'm thinking that if he hasn't even call me to say hi... I guess he really doesn't love me anymore and may be he's hurt about the end of his latest relationshiip...
Author Marina09 Posted July 17, 2009 Author Posted July 17, 2009 I actually think that I felt better when my ex had a girlfriend, not because I didn't care, because I hated the thought of him with another girl, but because I didn't expect him to call because he couldn't or shouldn't call me. Now that he is alone he could call, he has no excuse not to do it, (we even got to good terms before their break up), and he doesn't do it, and I feel like day one, waiting for a call, a text, or an e-mail. I've checked my e-mail more than ten times today!! Am I going nuts or what?
Thaddeus Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 I actually think that I felt better when my ex had a girlfriend, not because I didn't care, because I hated the thought of him with another girl, but because I didn't expect him to call because he couldn't or shouldn't call me. Now that he is alone he could call, he has no excuse not to do it, (we even got to good terms before their break up), and he doesn't do it, and I feel like day one, waiting for a call, a text, or an e-mail. I've checked my e-mail more than ten times today!! Am I going nuts or what? No, you're not nuts. You're just building up expectations based on what you think the other person might do. Turn off the computer. Go for a walk. Get out of the house. Think about something else (difficult, I know, but necessary). Ruminating on what he may or may not do is purely destructive, especially when you've attached these expectations to it.
gd26 Posted July 18, 2009 Posted July 18, 2009 If he could treat his current gf this way, and talk poorly about her behind her back, I don't think he'd treat you much better. You seem to think your behavior was perfectly okay, but telling a girl's boyfriend that you love him is really inconsiderate to her. It's downright cruel. I don't know why you don't have enough compassion to her to see that. It is you who is the one who is interfering in their relationship where you don't belong. If you think by interfering in someone's relationship you are going to make him love you instead, that is rarely the case. Maybe you'll get a fling out of it, but not real love. The person who is willing to treat their current partner badly to be near you, will also do the same to you... and knowing this, even if he became your boyfriend again, you wouldn't be able to trust him knowing that he could treat you the same way as her. You get what you put out to others.
Author Marina09 Posted July 18, 2009 Author Posted July 18, 2009 If he could treat his current gf this way, and talk poorly about her behind her back, I don't think he'd treat you much better. You seem to think your behavior was perfectly okay, but telling a girl's boyfriend that you love him is really inconsiderate to her. It's downright cruel. I don't know why you don't have enough compassion to her to see that. It is you who is the one who is interfering in their relationship where you don't belong. If you think by interfering in someone's relationship you are going to make him love you instead, that is rarely the case. Maybe you'll get a fling out of it, but not real love. The person who is willing to treat their current partner badly to be near you, will also do the same to you... and knowing this, even if he became your boyfriend again, you wouldn't be able to trust him knowing that he could treat you the same way as her. You get what you put out to others. I think you misunderstood everything I wrote!! I never interfered in their relationship, only on my b-day I called him because I was drunk and I was hurt that he hadn't call me to wish me a happy b-day, and I told HIM that I still loved him and I was crying for all the things he did to me, including getting a new girlfriend inmediately after the break up. If she found out about my texts and my calls on my b-day is because apparently she is checking his cell phone all the time because she was jealous of me even though she had no reason to be because, first he dumped me, and second I never called him before my b-day which was 2 weeks ago, so I don't undersand why she would be jealous of me before that... I don't know why they broke up, and he didn't broke up with her to be with me!!! I was just saying that now that they're not together I was waiting for his call to apologize for the horrible way he ended things between us, but he didn't call up until today so I guess he's not gonna call me! I don't have compassion for her because she didn't have compassion for me and she called one day at 3 am when she was with my ex and left the phone hanging so I could hear them talking, laughing, when I was still hearbroken, and even after that horrible episode I told him to apologize to her because of the texts and calls I made to him on my b-day. I'm not the bad guy in this story!!!!! God you made me mad, I'm the heartbroken in the story... And no he's NOT GETTING BACK WITH ME!!!
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